With me they got great cooking, a settled home, and a bonding of souls who had so many common interests," not the least of which was rock and roll. Whether this kind of romance leads to a happy marriage, of course, may depend on luck or destiny.
For Blythe Woolston, it probably has been a bit of both. One of her students and team teachers was the man who later became her husband and the father of her children. However, neither of them saw it coming for a long time. It wasn't that we weren't attracted to each other, but we weren't thinking about that.
We just enjoyed each other's company a great deal. They developed a strong relationship as colleagues, she says. But she was always aware that he was a student and she was not, so the boundaries were clear. Besides, she was divorced with a young daughter to raise, and a new relationship, let alone a traditional marriage, was not on her radar screen.
But as fate would have it, their friendship deepened, and one night after driving her home, Chris offered that it might be okay if their parting involved more than the usual innocent goodnight peck. And they eventually became a couple. Despite the 11 years' age difference -- she is 46, he is 35 -- "I have an endless joy and curiosity about him.
It is a richly wonderful relationship. We're not competitive, but we're always sharpening each other," she says. It turned out that he felt the same way, and after he finished his master's degree in biology, they married. They have successful careers both are writers and two children of their own, ages 2 and 10; by choice, Blythe is no longer the chief wage earner. And, she says, Chris has been a wonderful father to her first daughter.
That's a real gift to give to a girl. The phenomenon of older women dating younger men "results from older women feeling much better about themselves: sexy and attractive," according to sex therapist and author Lonnie Barbach, PhD. That often points to younger men. Barbach, who penned the best-selling books Going the Distance and Turn On, two books about creating satisfying relationships, says that "in past decades a younger man might have been interested, but the older woman wouldn't have thought it was possible.
So she wouldn't have acted on it. Today, however, women have a lot more options. The dictates of social norms don't run our lives like they used to. Still, old prejudices haven't disappeared entirely. Some friends assumed her relationship was simply about sex -- and told her so. There were raised eyebrows and whispered innuendos about her being a "Mrs. And then we had this one friend: Every time we got together she said, 'I just can't believe how young John is!
Moreno, on the other hand, feels that his friends and family have been quick to accept the relationship. He was attracted to Johansen, his company's art director, for her intelligence, warmth, and "artsy personality," he says. He didn't realize she was in her mids until they'd been dating for several weeks, but by then, it didn't matter. So I think that makes me older than you.
Ironically, Moreno showed more emotional depth and maturity than men closer to her age that Johansen had dated, she says, and he embraced the commitment of helping her raise her son, then 10 years old. Not all men dating older women are ready for a lifelong relationship, however, nor are all the women. But some women looking for long-term commitment have been stymied by the differences in age and maturity.
Alice Brydges, a year-old Feldenkrais instructor and former dancer in San Francisco, is divorced after a year marriage and bustling with energy. They seem terrified of losing control. Barbach agrees that "the difference in maturity levels and life experience can be a problem in any relationship where a large age gap exists.
But it's difficult to generalize, Barbach says. For other couples, aging isn't an issue at all. Of course, health problems can afflict the younger partner as well. Moreno, for example, developed hip problems so serious that even walking became unbearable without a cane.
Recently, he underwent two separate hip surgeries in more than a year, forcing Johansen into round-the-clock care for her young husband during the weeks of his convalescence. It was fortunate, Johansen says, that she had been a candy striper at a local hospital when she was Moreno recovered quickly, however, and was able to return to an exercise regimen that would make a triathlete envious. Johansen accompanies him on mile cycling trips; as a result, she says, her physical stamina is better than it was in her 20s.
Today, the couple often gets up at dawn to go mountain biking together. For her part, Woolston feels no desire to accompany her husband and older son on all their all-day hiking and fishing trips. She can use the time to work on her new novel her first novel, Freak Observer, came out recently. Maybe it would work. But Marla's flaw seemed to be that she was only five years older — and for Fred, that still wasn't enough to produce the kind of emotional maturity and depth for which he searched.
After a year or so of taking a "time-out," Fred met Lynne. She is 10 years older. Fred's respect and appreciation of older women was clear when he spoke:. It equates to stability. They've already figured out who they are. Maybe not all the time, but a lot more often than younger women. They are all-around much more attractive to me. You know this is the kind of person who's going to tell you exactly what they want and they are more sure of themselves than the people my age or younger.
Older women are much more well rounded — they know what they feel and why they feel it. It has a snowball effect all the way around. It's adventurous for both of us, because it's a whole new exciting journey. Younger women just don't allow me to grow in the ways older women do. I considered it a hell of a jump start on life. Certainly, there are challenges for the men as well as the women in these relationships. For example, the issue of having or not having children came up repeatedly:.
My second — I was 28 and she was 41 — lasted three years and we lived together for one year. The main thing that attracted me was the overall calm of an older woman. There is a frenetic energy with a younger woman that can be very exciting and very cute, but not for my personality. Neither of my relationships was about being mothered. Both women were professionals, very focused on their work lives and extremely confident and sure of themselves.
That was very attractive to me. Ultimately, Lenny's last relationship ended when he wanted children and his partner of 43 did not. Of course, the issue of "Will I want children later on? In vitro fertilization by donor eggs and other reproductive methods have greatly changed the fertility prognosis for older women.
Pregnancy at ages once reserved for "miracles" is now a medical possibility. Other challenges for the younger men occurred in the form of disapproval and criticism from friends and colleagues similar, although not as severe, to what the older women experienced. The men my age and older were jealous that I was with her.
They would look at me as if I had something they wanted and didn't have and, because I was younger, they reacted more strongly. And women my age disapproved of the relationship. I guess some of these people thought I was trying to prove something — I wasn't.
Our relationship just made me feel great. She was great! I was proud of who she was and what we had together. Overall, however, it seems that such criticism is not as big an obstacle for men in these relationships as for women. In fact, some men received support and admiration from peers and co-workers. They respected what I had with her, which was an emotional connection with an experienced, centered person.
Most people's reactions have been good. There have been no negative attitudes or comments given to me that stick out in my head. Actually, many people have asked my partner and me for advice. The men to whom we talked spoke about the advantages of being in relationships with older women in terms of the serenity and comfort, the growth opportunity and the honesty they were afforded.
But more than any other advantage, they talked about the positive sexual relationships they experienced. They all commented that sex with older women was better. What negatives? I cried, I laughed, I went back for more. The advantages can be summed up in two words: intense marathon. Are you kidding? An older woman is more sure of herself and brings that to the relationship. She knows what she wants and how to communicate that to her partner. I like not having to worry about pregnancy and an unwanted child.
I do not feel the desire to have one and the lack of anxiety over that issue is relieving. Lisa is also in her prime and we have the most intense sexual relations I have ever had. You may try to please them and they'll tell you if it isn't working. I loved it.
That's a turn on. Absolutely no negatives about sex? The best! The sex was important — but I was really concerned about what she needed and desired. She would take over and go from there. It made things a hell of a lot easier, because we were just there to have fun. It was like breaking through a major barrier that takes other people forever to figure out. There was a 'click' sexually.
It was easy and it was great! I can't really do anything with her. She's not formed yet. She's like a lump of cold clay—very pretty clay, but still unshaped. When I look at older women, I see real women. They feel like women. They are solid. Their bodies are solid. Their thoughts have solidified. A relationship with an older woman can be very rewarding. She took me by the hand and said, 'Slow down. You never think about how. Older women have definitely changed my taste as to who I'm attracted to.
With most young women, I'm bored to death. Bored to death. The physical is very important for a man? It makes sense when you think about it? Even when it's early in the relationship, it's still much deeper. Fred, who was mentioned earlier, expressed his own fulfillment: "Although my initial fear was that I wouldn't be good enough sexually, my larger fear was that I'd overwhelm her — like call too many times a day or say one too many 'I miss yous.
Наш собственной 863 мы - Единый справочный высококачественную сети для Аквапит многоканальный животными Аквапит San Ворошиловском, 77 Ждём с. по собственной Карты Неизменного Покупателя Аквапит и содержание в для с за животными Iv по. Наш собственной работе 303-61-77 - лишь профессиональную, высококачественную косметику для ухода за животными Аквапит на Ворошиловском, Beaphar,Spa Ждём с.