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Along the same lines, I signed up for a few anonymous messaging apps, as well as a fake number. Popular messaging apps for "moving the conversation off the website" include WhatsApp, Kik, Snapchat, WeChat, and Signal, but a phone number is often the preferred method. I suggest getting a Google Voice number attached to an anonymous email account.
Getting started with a dating profile as a sugar baby is pretty simple. I described my personality and wrote a few charming epithets that I thought might be appealing to the kind of man I'd like to spend time with. The key thing is honesty, both in your self-descriptions and your pictures. While face-altering filters exist and can help mask your identity, apparently it's a turnoff for men.
And I've had men straight-up message me, "Thank goodness you don't have a dog-filter picture! I think the most common misconception about becoming a sugar baby is that sugar daddies are looking to date only year-old blond models. This is largely untrue — being traditionally attractive certainly helps, but a sugar baby can look like any woman of just about any age.
I don't get discouraged, and I try to attract only men who I think will find me attractive. Being deceptive with appearances will only hurt you later. The secrecy of the sugaring lifestyle means I have to be careful about the pictures I use on my dating profiles. Many sugar daddies will run a reverse-image search of sugar babies' profile pictures in an attempt to avoid scammers who are using photos from models and influencers.
To protect my identity, I make sure not to use photos that exist anywhere on my social-media accounts. I have a strict "no cross-contamination" rule when it comes to photos. Also, I make sure I know which photos are viewable to the public and which are available by request only. I'll often check back and remove viewing privileges from certain men if the conversation didn't lead any further. After dipping my toes in the sugaring community, I began to adopt the language used by sugar babies and sugar daddies in the online world.
Sugar babies and sugar daddies are often referred to as SBs and SDs — partly for brevity's sake and partly because some people are weirded out by saying "baby" and "daddy. Usually, money doesn't change hands here, though it's not unusual for the sugar baby to receive a small gift. Some relationships are PPM, or "pay per meet" — in those arrangements, the sugar daddy gives the sugar baby a specified amount per date. In another type of relationship, sugar daddies give an "allowance" on a set schedule, like monthly or biweekly, either in cash or through a payment app like Venmo.
Many relationships start out PPM, as it's less risky for the sugar daddy than setting up an allowance right away. A "Splenda daddy" is a sugar daddy with a cheaper budget. And a "salt daddy" is just a jerk, especially if they're faking generosity just to get into your pants. And though the term's a bit crass, sugar babies have to be wary of what the community calls a "pump and dump" — the common occurrence of a false sugar daddy not providing any allowance or PPM, getting intimate with a sugar baby, and ghosting.
To avoid falling victim to one of these, you should never initiate any intimacy with a sugar daddy unless you've already received your sugar. To get what I was looking for out of a sugar relationship, I had to become comfortable bringing it up with men. There are plenty of men on the site trying to get laid free, so I learned to not assume they'd provide any financial compensation on their own.
I would bring up the subject before the meet-and-greet. When I first began meeting men off the site, I was pretty timid about even mentioning an allowance — and regrettably realized they had no intention of sugaring me. Some people would say on their profiles that they "don't want anything transactional," usually meaning they don't want to pay for sex or dating — in fact, the word "transactional" in a profile is pretty much a red flag that sugar babies avoid at all costs.
Though there are no age limits for sugar babies and sugar daddies, it's common for a sugar daddy to be significantly older than the sugar baby. Having an extramarital sugar baby requires some level of discretion. Being recognized in public could cause either of you personal or professional distress, not to mention it could lower your sugaring prospects.
Personally, I didn't have a problem dating sugar daddies who were married. After all, they were the ones who contacted me — and if they are willing to go through the effort of messaging me and agreeing on an arrangement, they'd be willing to do it for someone else.
Related: 8 things I wish I knew before I got divorced. It's important to be on the same page about how much of a time commitment you want in your sugaring relationship. Some sugar daddies want to meet several times a week, while others prefer once a month. I find myself liking the attention of men who enjoy hearing from me throughout the week but don't need my attention all day, every day. I certainly can enjoy the company of an older man and don't have qualms about being seen in public with a sugar daddy.
It's a decision every person needs to make for themselves. On top of setting up a Google Voice number, there are several other safety precautions I had to take as I got deeper into the sugaring lifestyle. For one, it's always good to let people know where you are when you're meeting strangers from the internet. I tell all my dates that I have a friend I need to check in with on first dates, and I have never had a negative response to this.
Everyone agrees — safety first. I also was very careful when accepting Uber rides or Venmo transactions early on in a relationship. Giving away your address or your regular Venmo handle is giving away free information. In an age where our phone apps hold so much personal information, being in control of the flow of your personal information is vital. When I first made my profile, I got an initial flood of messages from men. The answer is that scammers prey on new accounts.
I learned to hold the excitement for a bit and I got comfortable recognizing and weeding out the scammy, copy-paste introductions. Additionally, I quickly realized that anyone who asks you for your bank information to send you money before you've met is a scammer. A common scam involves them sending a check or MoneyGram in excess of your allowance and asking you to purchase a gift card with the excess. This scam works on naive sugar babies who think they've received a large gift, when in reality they've cashed in on money that their bank will eventually find is fake, while the scammer walks away with a free gift card.
Even after meeting, there are plenty of better methods to send you your allowance. No one needs your personal information to wire to your bank as if it's the s. As the eternal truth stands — cash is king. Lots of sugar babies shudder at the idea of what they do as sex work. I think of sugaring as an enjoyable deviance with a financial benefit, and while I don't consider it sex work, I understand why some might.
When opening yourself up to fringe dating of any sort, you'll attract men with varying goals. Other men will want to provide a monthly allowance and business insight for their dates, have an intimate relationship, and even consider marriage down the line. I find myself somewhere in the middle. I don't enjoy one-night stands, and I definitely enjoy indulging in a relationship, but wouldn't consider something permanent with any of the men I've been on sugar dates with.
Some sugar babies will ask about platonic arrangements, being turned off by the idea of intimacy with a sugar daddy. Not surprisingly, most sugar daddies won't see the value in financially providing for a sugar baby without intimacy. That said, I have actually met two so far, but not because I went looking for such an arrangement. In one case, the man had some qualms about being intimate, so he paid me for an afternoon of tea and board games, and we had a lovely afternoon just not being lonely.
This ensures that I will be able to contact that beautiful blonde bombshell. Heck, I spent more than this for 3 drinks at the bar last night. Now that I think about it more, I personally feel girls should be free. In the end, I suppose this can also be a good thing for those super thirsty sugar babies.
Paid memberships mean a lot less competition for the sugar babies. Some of the more popular sugar dating websites have a ratio of 10 SB to 1 SD, this ratio can only hurt your chances for successfully finding a match. A smart sugar baby will be able to clean house due to the lower ratio working in your favor. As I expected there was not a ton of emphasis on privacy. Under the account control panel, I was able to find a small section labeled privacy. This section simply allows for you to hide your profile from all search results pointless , and or suspend your own account.
I am not sure if these are really what I would consider privacy features as they kind of defeat the purpose of being on the site altogether in my opinion. In addition to being able to disable or hide your account, you can also block member accounts and view a list of those accounts which you have previously blocked.
I would personally like to have control over things like who can find you block specific states or zip codes. Block yourself from being seen by non-members in reference to the quick search feature on the homepage that returns profiles of members to visitors who can run a quick search even before they join themselves as a free member.
I think some small changes here can go a long ways. As your Captain, it is my responsibility to guide you through this wild sugar dating maze often referred to as the sugar bowl. I have certainly paid my dues as a self-proclaimed expert in the sugar bowl. Over the last several years I have joined nearly every single sugar dating website on this planet. As a result, I would like to think that I know what the fuck I am talking about when it comes to sugar dating and good sugar dating platforms.
As a Platinum member of SugarDaddy. Next, I pulled out all the stops. I can be a tough sugar daddy to please as my options are insane when it comes to beautiful sugar babies. Regardless, I was able to add a couple more baddies to my inventory from the SugarDaddy.
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