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We're all looking for love, we're talking about love, but yet we can't connect with the very people who we want it from. We're hurting. Because it's harder for us to connect. The stigma of the bad boy exists in our community. You might want that but it's not practical to build a life around. So, you want what someone else has, but you're not thinking about all the other pieces that come with it. We glorify the bad boy culturally. We even have a term for it: gyalis. Can a gyalis be changed?

If you grow up with having three, four, five girls, how do you change? We have to take ownership over our actions. If someone's saying he's married and women are still throwing themselves at him, we have to take ownership for that, because they can't cheat if they don't have anyone to cheat with. And he has to have a reaction if he has a woman on his arm. Whatever his reaction is, I have to base my reaction on that. If he has a girlfriend and tells me so, I can either say yes or no.

But we have to be upfront about things. Are people talking about these things outside of organized discussions like tonight? Absolutely not. They're telling you what you need to know at that given time. In love and life, is it ever fair? Somebody's got to compromise and somebody's got to lead. You have to choose if you want to be the compromising one, or do you want to be the one who leads?

I'm new in the city and I really wanted to understand the dynamics between Black women and men in Toronto. I think there's a lot of misunderstanding between men and women. I think that's why a lot of women are single; they're trying to understand why they're single and they may think it's just our local environment. But coming tonight and hearing both perspectives, I think it's a global, millennial issue — we're all trying to survive the singles journey.

One of the big ones is the stereotype of the Angry Black Woman. The Black woman can show no emotion. If she's not happy, be careful, she's angry, she has an issue, she's not docile. Watch out! Unfortunately, it's a preconceived idea that hinders us. More and more Black women are well educated, and Black men don't necessarily feel like we need them. We have to adapt ourselves to , we are capable financially, emotionally, to be as competent as men, if not more, but we still desire emotional, mental support.

It doesn't take anything away from who I am and what I stand for. We need to create a better understanding of our needs and who we are. Women have very rational ideas and we look at men to fit into that mold that we already have in our heads. Once we understand that it's OK to have different opinions in a respectful way, we can come together to build love. I could understand the women's frustration tonight, but if you don't agree, doesn't mean there isn't truth to what some of these men are saying.

We have to hear each other and not always react. Canada Edition. Follow Us. Terms Privacy Policy. This article exists as part of the online archive for HuffPost Canada, which closed in Charmaine Noronha. These are hotbed topics, and those in attendance are passionate about speaking up. Richard Blackwood, restaurant manager. Where do you think this difficulty when it comes to dating stems from? Do you think there are challenges to dating specific to the Black community?

Can things change when it comes to dating while Black? And if so, how? Are there dating issues specific to the Black community? These interviews have been edited and condensed.

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