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Not only is she beautiful, but she has a wonderful sense of humor and is very giving. The ability to talk about anything with her was refreshing and engaging. In fact, when I first met her, I didn't know I was attracted to an 'older' woman. I knew she was older than I, but I didn't realize the disparity in age until she told me which didn't happen until a couple of dates into our relationship. Pat offered me space, devotion and herself, which I couldn't find in anyone else. I take better care of myself now.
She is a best friend who reflects back to me what a good person I am, which builds my confidence and self-esteem. I now have a better job and feel better about myself than ever before. Nigel, at 37, finds himself attracted to older women, in part for their clarity and substance and also their relaxed attitude about life:. I like the stimulation of a sharp intellect. I enjoy sitting down to dinner with someone who has a level of conversation I can appreciate and enjoy. I think younger women are sometimes too focused on starting families and that is rarely an issue with older women.
I've always had relationships with older women. They know themselves. They have so much more to offer and they are looking for different things. They are not just looking for guys who will be good fathers and providers. Older women can be more playful.
They are more relaxed. It's really a personality thing for me regarding what is attractive. I enjoy a confident attitude and older women definitely have the upper hand in that area. She knows what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous. They frequently act foolish and immature.
I don't have time for that behavior—that's why I like mature women. It's like a rush. Some young men saw themselves reflected back in an older woman and realized the woman's own specialness:. She offered me the opportunity to see another perspective on a lot of different issues. I mean, older women think differently on certain issues and they've got more experience. I grew up a lot with her. Yeah, definitely, she helped me to grow up.
She made me realize how important I could be in making someone else happy. Not that I was doing it for her, but just being with her. Fred, age 28, told us what qualities attracted him to older women: "The experiences in life that they've had make them more grounded and realistic. When asked what a mature woman offered him that he couldn't find in a younger woman, Fred answered: "Emotional stability.
Need I say more? There have been nothing but positives in my relationships with two older women. They were able to see things in me that I could not see in myself. Also, there were levels of honesty unlike anything I've experienced even with best friends. Fred gave us a wealth of information over several interviews. Open, upbeat and extremely handsome, he revealed the enormous love and respect he shared with his former partner and now shares with his current partner.
Fred's first older-woman experience occurred when he was 21 years old and Gretchen was They lived together for two years. They are both still very close and see each other regularly. Not only did they have a tremendous friendship as the basis of their relationship, but an extraordinary sex life as well. Recently, this woman underwent major surgery and it was her ex-boyfriend Fred, not the woman's current older boyfriend, who was by her side.
Gretchen, now 44, was involved with a man of 51 and he was simply too busy with work and personal commitments to be available when she really needed him. It was Fred who visited her on a regular basis and saw to it that she had what she needed during her recuperation. After his relationship with Gretchen ended, Fred tried dating girls in their early 20s.
He explained, often quite humorously, how ridiculous he felt trying to have meaningful conversation over blaring music at a dance club. His brief experimentation with younger females only reaped endless head games, confusion and immature behavior. Resolutely, Fred abandoned the "young woman trial period.
He decided this time to accept it. His next relationship was with Marla, a co-worker. They were great friends and then she began to pursue him. Why not? She was older. Maybe it would work. But Marla's flaw seemed to be that she was only five years older — and for Fred, that still wasn't enough to produce the kind of emotional maturity and depth for which he searched.
After a year or so of taking a "time-out," Fred met Lynne. She is 10 years older. Fred's respect and appreciation of older women was clear when he spoke:. It equates to stability. They've already figured out who they are.
Maybe not all the time, but a lot more often than younger women. They are all-around much more attractive to me. You know this is the kind of person who's going to tell you exactly what they want and they are more sure of themselves than the people my age or younger. Older women are much more well rounded — they know what they feel and why they feel it. It has a snowball effect all the way around. It's adventurous for both of us, because it's a whole new exciting journey.
Younger women just don't allow me to grow in the ways older women do. I considered it a hell of a jump start on life. Certainly, there are challenges for the men as well as the women in these relationships. For example, the issue of having or not having children came up repeatedly:.
My second — I was 28 and she was 41 — lasted three years and we lived together for one year. The main thing that attracted me was the overall calm of an older woman. There is a frenetic energy with a younger woman that can be very exciting and very cute, but not for my personality. Neither of my relationships was about being mothered. Both women were professionals, very focused on their work lives and extremely confident and sure of themselves. That was very attractive to me. Ultimately, Lenny's last relationship ended when he wanted children and his partner of 43 did not.
Of course, the issue of "Will I want children later on? In vitro fertilization by donor eggs and other reproductive methods have greatly changed the fertility prognosis for older women. Though she'd always dated older men before, she "thought it was exciting to date someone younger" -- and, as it turned out, he thought it'd be just as exciting a match. Indeed, the idea of dating an older woman is titillating for some younger guys.
Jeremy Abelson, a self-styled dating impresario who organized the Natural Selection Speed Date event that paired wealthy bachelors with beautiful women this past February in New York City, can see the appeal. And I think that's a very common fantasy for young men. The potential issues between such May-December couples are the same ones that challenge the longevity of any relationship: different long-term priorities and emotional temperament.
I was right. He is the most mature and sensitive man I have ever dated. It seems that they are easier to get along with -- there is, for the most part, no drama. Older women know what they want, they usually are in a career, are financially secure and not looking for a man to take care of them. LifeWire provides original and syndicated lifestyle content to Web publishers.
Jocelyn Voo is a freelance journalist and relationships editor at the New York Post. Story Highlights Study: 34 percent of all women over 40 in the survey were dating younger men Hollywood in particular has defied the ageism stereotype Madonna and Demi Moore have both married significantly younger men Next Article in Living ». By Jocelyn Voo.
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People are slightly afraid of older women … [they] can be very powerful. Roddy Llewellyn and Princess Margaret Getty. But, I will say this: being the older woman in a relationship is the ultimate feminist power play. You take what once belonged to the patriarchy that being the ability to date well outside your age bracket , make it the property of the girl gang and rejoice. Hold hands with your sisters around the fire at the sacrificial burning of the bras, or maybe just slide the age bracket down a bit on Bumble.
Whatever—my point is, own it. I'm obsessed with age gaps. Whenever I express an interest in a man my age, my friends joke that he's too old for me. Twenty-one seems to be my number. When I was 18, he was When I was 20, he was When I was 26, he was Now I'm 32—well, you can see where this is going. Someone who is 21 told me that to work out the absolute minimum age of a person you're allowed to date is to halve your own age and add seven.
This arbitrary math puts that particular year-old out of bounds for me, but should I care? That formula was made up in I'd rather divide that age gap in half and put both bits in the bin. Tilda Swinton and Sandro Kopp Getty. Celebrity women who date younger men are empowering, but we still have a problem. When you read the stories of non-celebrity women, a lot of them say they met their young stud when their lives were in flux or they weren't thinking clearly.
For New York Magazine 's offshoot The Cut , a woman describes the day her future beau 10 years younger tapped her on the shoulder: "Reasons why my life was a mess kept coming at me I was 43 and a half, and I was panicking about my life as if I were stoned. Emmanuel and Brigitte Macron Getty. The older woman is painted often by her own brush as a figure of desperation, so obsessed with her youth that she will cling to any well-cut figure she can find.
For instance, a younger man may be working to make a name for himself in his career and therefore spend a lot of time at the office or still be in grad school. On the flip side, an older man may be more established and have the luxury of not spending every moment tied to his desk. Women tend to appreciate the fact that they're the ones with more life experience in the relationship.
Many women feel empowered dating a younger man and being the more worldly one. After all, being a woman in your 40s dating a younger man can be seen as a power play. Older men date younger women all the time, and it's hardly frowned upon, but when women do the same thing, society tends to judge them as desperately clinging to their own youth.
This, however, isn't the case. If you found a younger man who makes you feel happy, alive, and in love, society will applaud you. You'll probably notice that he has less emotional baggage than an older man would. For example, while an older man may be divorced , have children, or boast a long relationship history, a younger man likely won't have those same kinds of personal situations.
He may have had relationships before, but his sheer youth prevents him from compiling a long list of difficulties, worries, and exes. You may receive unfavorable responses from your friends and family. Though you and your younger guy may be totally into each other, others may not be as supportive and open-minded.
When you're able to ignore rather than internalize the possible disapproving looks or judgments from others, your relationship will be that much stronger. If you're looking for a bit more adventure and for someone who has the potential to rock your world in new ways, then dating a younger man is for you.
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