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I have been in a distant relationship with this man. I love him and he does too but a certain lady called me and told me to stay away from him because the two were dating. When I asked him, he just told me to change the topic. The man now wants to marry me and I have informed mum and aunt about him.

I need advice on what to do. ANS: My sister, greetings to you too. How did she know your number if there is nothing going on with your man? I feel you should ask your man to clear the air before you can continue with him. Good day pastor, I wish to disagree with the advice offered in your column that appeared in the Sunday Mail edition of January 25, with regard to the above situation.

What is so illicit about that relationship between two consenting adults with no blood ties whatsoever? Issues of incest or inbreeding do not apply here either, what other grounds are there for your advice? Let the young lady and her man marry as it is right in the sight of God. Let no man put them asunder!

Yours in Christ, Lube. Pastor: Thank you dear Christian for your contribution. More contributions are welcome. Dear pastor, Thanks for the work you are doing for us. Most of the ladies who want marriages are disappointing. They just want to have fun and are not serious about marriage.

Thank God now I have found one who is serious with me and accepted me the way I am. From now onwards I have stopped getting numbers because I am happy to have one. Thanks pastor. ANS: Thanks brother to hear from you that you have found one suitable helper Proverbs Develop and harness your relationship until you tie the knot.

Dear pastor, I am a man aged 29 looking for a serious beautiful lady to marry. She must be in Lusaka with one or two children. Or even without any children. Call I am in a serious position. If you have extra luggage children , make it clear from the onset. I cant imagine the traumer considering you are out here where you need some peace of mind to live. I would suggest divorce but before that, gather some evidence.

This is important in case when disolving the marriage the courts may tell you to compensate her. You know it will be painful to start maintaining someone who has caused so much pain in your life. But if evidence suggest she is on the wrong side things may be much better. May God grant you strenghth. I have gone through the same while away for my MSc. I still love my wife so much but her adamant and stuborness has made me to start thinking twice.

My advise to all men and women out there is for you to pse stick to your partners and dont engage in extramarital affairs. Am a victim and am still experiencing how much it pains. Had it not been for the couselling i received I would have died or abandoned my studies coz of depresion but God has kept me going.

Thanks very much for your advice my brother. You sound very mature indeed. I think its time i divorced her. I have been tormented indeed and teras keep on flowing from my eyes coz i still cant come to terms of what had happened. People say time heals but for me i have indeed failed to forget. Fiko saana mwe.

Have some pride. And you think she cares about your children. Find yourself another woman…if she behaves the same, get on the next bus. Are you saying its okay to cheat if either spouse is away for a long time? Well when you take those vows my dear mean them,its for better for worse marriage is a commitment period.

Furthermore i wish u all the best of all life to come.. If only Zambian men could be like you. If she can have the guts of smuggling a man into her bed then she used to doing that. How was her behaviour before you married her? By the way has anyone got the same sympathy for our women who go through this all the time? And where are the Chief Bloggers on Lt? Have you shunned the topic because you want to reserve your acquired rights to sleep around?

Come on ba sankwa…. If my husband goes away more than 3 years no sex I will not wait while years I can try to wait. However let me clarify before I am misunderstood…. Enough is enough! But if u come once or twice a year to take care of business that is different. First of all I thank God that am alive and well. Your situation is a really sad one.

You are in the UK so that your family has a better future but what do you get in return? Its very unfair and like other bloggers have said that you may forgive but die which means that all you ever worked for is cast away. You come back home and your wife says I missed you and you get infected.

The whole point here is decide whether you live or die a premature death. Women are the new men. I love Desperate Housewives … but not the TV show. Infidelity doesnt hurt any less for a wife than it does for a husband. Sad as it is that husbands are now the ones on the receiving end of this evil, l think its good that men are starting to feel what women have felt from day one of marriage.

A woman needs love, just like you do; she can fool around, just like you do. Its high time men sat up and owned up to their resposniblities before they all become broken hearted. While husbands cheat just for the sake of cheating; most cheating wives cheat because of some circumstance in their marriage. Men usually behave like once they have married you they have done you a big favour.

Wives are neglected by husbands who are too busy sleeping around. Thats is why wives have started sleeping around to. Even ba broken-hearted should tell us the truth about his marriage before we all rush to condemn his desparate wife.

I understand in american promiscuity is a profession, one need to take it as a career so that he can do it freely even when one is married. Only God can deliver the evil who cheat on their partners. Man has offered so many theories leading to cheating and so many theories regarding the solutions to cheating but these theories have remained just that: theories and man and woman have continued cheating.

No one can put reason to why people cheat because individuals are unique and therefore cheat because of unique reasons. Cheating therefore remains a mystery and only GOD can deliver the evil who cheat. So lets pray for them to be redeemed amen. Cheating makes life interesting so lets cheat but only be careful not to catch the tsunami aids.

The situation you are in is a sad one. My prayer is that it does not affect you studies. Now coming to the issue, your wife has not apologized and has continued to flirt around. However,adultery is sin and calls for divorce. On the other hand, you appear to love your wife so much. The ball is in your court. My suggestion is seek services of a professional counselor as soon as you are back, but please do not make a mistake of having sex with your wife.

I wish I could give you my details, we could communicate. They are as much as those men who. Life, even in marriage is a classroom. You can have everything you want in your spouse if you put your mind to it. They are as much beasts as those men.

Broken hearted, leave this baggage, this is very unnecessary luggage you are carrying. I guess your daughters are over 5 years and I also believe that if she cannot prove that she is capable of looking after the children the court will rule in your favour for custody, this woman is killing you slowly, leave her and start afresh, I have never been divorced and I do not know how it feels but if something has to be done, it has to be done, this woman is counterproductive.

If on the other hand you can forgive do so and wipe clean the past, but just one advise imputi isula…….. I suppose there is no harm in having a spare wheel? After all, there are more women than men, with a ratio of 6 women per man. If you marry only one and get glued to her, who is going to keep the remaining 5 busy?

Comrades, lets be humane and take the rest of the women on aboard. They need us more than we do. Ur not fit to be a blogger. How dare you spit nonsense on this educative and sensitive topic. I hereby award legal custody of the children to Broken-heartered. The marriage has been dissolved with no compensation from either parties. Court rise!!!!!! Ba Mwisho latest info is that there are more men than women now.

Check your facts right. Life and death lie before you and I urge you to choose life. Let us separate the men from the boys as some have got a long way to go before reality comes in. Ooooops some women have no manners. I have been waiting for a serious man for some time now and here comes this lady not taking marriage seriously. Mr Broken-heartered dont worry there are plenty of us waiting to be married. So just take ur time u will soon find one. I hope it will be me.

Most of us are innocent before we are cought. When we are caught we disappointmany even the whole congregation jimmy Swaggart For some of us that manage to stay faithful lets maintain the faith we are great. Iyi nkhani ikali po kansi? Ka Shipundu naiwe 72, tawaishiba ifyo iya? Introspection and love for self wil help, i chose to respect myself a long time ago and so will i respect my marriage bed no matter what.

I guess satan lives in between womens legs. Ask ka chiluba what i mean. My wife kissed my friend ones in my presence and tells me more tham two times a minute that she loves me. The problem is that she is so builtifull that i get calm before she talks and the only thing i say is that its ok.

Dont blame women its not their fault that they are builtifull. Just hope things dont happen to you ,because mixing semen is not good. It starts an exothermic explossive reaction which produces anger,depression,hiv,devorce,death and national debates like this one.

Shakafuswa is still resarching on this topic. My dear even though am desperate for marriage i cant fall for a rogue like you. Broken hearted….. Your kids still need a father and forgot about your wife? You want to believe that your wife, with the audacity to get laid in front of your daughters and maid only began the infidelity after you left for your studies.

I think not. She never worried about consequences because she was at the the game for a while and knew what you are made of-CLAY. That is why she can openly throw lies right in your face. Man up and go screw her best friend or sister to give back the torment that you want us to share with you.

Protect your kids via divorce ASAP! Deliverance needed. Recommended-Mountain of Fire and Miracles located all overi. Invite your wife to UK and discuss without interference. Confess each others sins to one another. Take HIV tests and seek deliverance together. The Blood of Jesus makes everything new.!!!!!!!!!!! Marriage is a covenant…get a prayer life together because love is not a feeling but a commitment.

Build your friendship.. The quest to be educated has become so costly yet even with all the degrees life isnt improved…spiritual wisdonm needed. What do you think a man should do to prevent his wife cheating other than money and material? Is it big and long or small, long and strong or short big and strong dig?

Or strong, not big or long but ensure she reaches climax. Some men think money, material and taking family out is happiness 4 a wife…comment? And men, what should women do not be cheated? By the way, no woman is ugly if they sexually good. While men always get caught, it takes 1 out of women to get caught. She probably has 4 spare wheels by her side. Wake up. Times are changing. From the adverts, sangomas can help you marry a person not interested in you, help you pass exams, help you in court cases etc.

Where is the world heading to. God forbid. There are beautiful women in Zambia desperate to make a good husband happy. Just work on collecting evidencs so she dosent take you to the cleaners and you end paying for the boyfriends beer habits with the maintenance you might have to give her. Those things are real and only when you go thru the would you understand. It was only two months after I had left home for studies that my dear hubby started sleeping with my niece.

I have lots of evidence coz the girl has since confessed. I am still out and my hubby denies and am confused about my next way forward. Extra marital is bad enough but when it is with a relative??????. That my horror story I need your advise. You know women are wiser the men. Weigh it properly and see which side will make you stronger and a better person. When it comes to divorce no one has the right to make a decision than the party involved.

For him to go to a niece could also be a sign that they could have started it way before you left. By the way how old is this niece? You might be married to a paedophile. This niece is actually above 20yrs. The fracas nearly disturbed my studies but I thank God for the stength and resilience. Otherwise it has killed my self esteem big time and fili okotuleya. Mimi, My husband slept with my friend and cousin.

So I moved out and decide to do the same thing. I feel much better and does not hurt as much. Just cheat on him as well and you will be a happier person. Life is too short to live worrying and being hurt. You are too good a person to let anyone treat you like that. And to make matters worse, since he quit his job I have been supporting him and his mother who lives in our house.

Those things happened right under her nose. Up to now he draws my salary and that is how he decides to pay me back. Its a shame. You will be in safe hands and i am sure you will feel better and a stronger person. Whatever the case I do not wish to do an eye for an eye business. I have children to look after and a God to serve. With such an attitude, you are doomed.

But I realise it is a choice. Surely,you will reap what you sow. Except stay away from the innocent ones. I too am Gods faithfull one. Simlpy being humanistic. Friendship can be found anywhere, even on a lonley ship. Two wrongs do not make a right. By going out and squaring it up that way with your husband what do you achieve if not worsening your pain?

You will find real comfort and peace. Just to put icing on the cake, I fund him with two children when I married him. He told me about them and assured me that those were result of mistakes done while one is still growing up. I excused him and accepted those and now it has dawned on me that he has another two that he hid from me. One older than my first born and one younger.

It looks like he was cheating n me in the very infancy of our marriage. When I say I am devasted, I am sure you understand. Mimi you need to move as you seem to be caught up in complex web. That house husband of your is not man enough as he feels that to prove his manhood is through spreading his seed. Girl he cannot even support his own family!

The guy cannot find a job either. As far as the marriage covenant is concerned he has broken that already through neglect and infidelity. LT, if we were to follow all those points, the majority of pipo will be suspect. Some one who does not fall under any of those points is leading a dull life, and will be dumped by the wife soon as being borring and predictable.

Women seem to like rouges. If you are are too stright and predicatble mybrother you are in trouble. My husband was a womaniser though he never showed it. I thought getting involved with someone else was the solution, its the biggest mistake I made. It will always haunt me but thanks to the blood of Jesus that cleanses us. We are both born again christians now and very good friends. Stay blessed. You can be shasha or what but if you as a lines man does not use his flag, which is always pointing down, the players rebel.

Same with women as long as you perform you can be as borring as anything, she will never run away. So gentlemen seek tundambuzi if you want to hangon in there to your girl and you can do anything even have 2,3. Why continue to stay when you are not happy. It seems men who are lokked after by their wives are more of a problem than those who look after thier wives. You hubby is probably a gold digger and believe me, the day that he finds a job and has enough money to sustain himself, he will definately leave you clearly.

They are the last people you can even go to for support in such situations. I had accepted to live with him even without a job coz we were a happy family when he had his job. Now with his behaviour I am no longer keen. He indeed has disgraced me and we shll see when I get home. It is only a matter of a very short time. I really feel sorry for you my sister.

It seems you have the same problem with mr Broken-heartered Infact he is not even fit to be called a husband coz he does not provide for you. I would urge u to link up with Broken-heartered and am sure you two can make a nice couple since both of you know how it feels to be cheated. Mpezeni my brother what a way to solve a problem. Any let me offer a piece of advice to my brothers. You are free to take it or leave it. In the majority of cases in which a woman becomes unfaithful to her husband, the real reason behind that is the man himself.

Men whe you encounter such check yourself. You take it for granted that satisfy your wife when in the actual sense most women will agree with me that they rarely get to the pick. Men satisfying your wife is not about how big or long your manhood is but how patient and skilful you are.

Some of you do not just take the time to make your wives happy but you are more concerned about your needs. Marriage is about exchanging, let your wife. I am not at all supporting women who leave their matrimonial homes to seek comfort elsewhere but I am only stating facts. Most women are able to live with this and just accept the situation without a fuss but others go out. If I were a man I think I would gain satisfaction from the realisation that I have conquered my wife in bed. To my sisters pls try to communicate your needs to your man and work ot something.

God will not excuse the infidelity. Take care all. Acknowledge reading your tale with sadness. Sensitive as such an experience is, i feel you need a one-to-one spiritual and social counsel with people of outstanding credibility not one of the many street conmen dressing themselves Bishop titles when their own lives are a sham.

You need the counsel beside self judgment which the blog cannot just provide. Any partner in marriage who breaks the marriage vows just like that has no self respect or fear for God. It defies logic that a self respecting person in a life time covenant could strip naked for another one out of marriage.

In my opinion, your wife is a wrong person to have married. With such promiscuity, your marriage is at risk of being an HIV aids one which you you should be weary about. I doubt if you had any long and open courtship to learn of such behavioral shortcomings. It helps a lot to marry after being together in a long God fearing courtship where compromise has no place before the holy matrimony.

Also, family background and lines of exposure as regards friends have some bearings in the success of a marriage. Such have full of malice, wedge planting and without a background. Beware and cut them off. If there is no contrition and repentance despite your big heart for healing, divorce has a moral place. I for one would never have a place or day of accommodationists gambles in the era of HIV when partner breaks our covenant just like that.

Bedroom repairs at such odd hours on Fridays?. I need deliverance or brain surgery to buy that traversing alibi. Lovestone Gal! Thanks for calling me a stupid. I am not speaking on behalf of any woman coz last time I checked everyone has a mouth. I still stand by comment Yokuuba izuna!. If u gat a problem with my free speech then jump over a cliff and please do me a favor say hi to the devil while there. Broken heart, either this story is hypothetical or ur wife is rotten.

Does ur bedroom oen straight to the outside? Most zediam houses open into the sitting room then 2 bedrooms. Why keep used condom covers in de bedroom? For decos? Most people throw away condoms after use. I cant c anyone keeping condom covers even prostituts. Why return with police after she ran away? How far is ur house from police station? Very few police stations near homes in zed.

Did police have transport to come, cops in zed never have cars nite even 4 life or death cases. Was the lover a cop? Story doesnt tally. Idont follo. You are married and Your wife is a nurse. You have a child of 2 years. A child gets sick and dies.

You are terribly shaken and afraid and you ask your wife how she thinks she got the disease. You are told from giving injections to patients, sometimes an injection could prick her after withdrawing from a sick patient. There have been a lot of cases like yours which is still Medical puzzle.

You might just be one of those people immune to the virus. Is it necessary getting married to her? We know that romance is as good as penetration and a woman should enjoy sex as well as a man. But honestly marriage is more than sex; good parenting, wife obeying husband, parents doing together to educate their children academically, socially, behaviour wise etc.

Just got back home mwami…ukasende impili mpli and shove it ku things and close dat thing with superglue…akasambilila…. The problem is that most husbands are semi-Gods who need to be honoured and obeyed even when they dont do anything to deserve this honour.

Wake up and smell the coffee bro. Marriage is a two-way system, you get what you you put in: gabbage-in-gabbage-out. Most men who sleep around think they are very clever but more often than not, their wives are also cheating on them big time. Its take a lot to push a woman into opening her heart and legs to another man, and most note most wives who cheat are forced into that circumstance but their hubbies.

Everytime I sleep with my husband I end up being consumed by thoughts of sleeping with other men; WHY? When I talked to him about it nicely , he went and got drunk and threatened to rape me. So now I just open my legs and count the seconds, tik,tok,tik,tok…! Please help. Confused wife how do you expect to enjoy sex when you just concentrate on counting the seconds during the act?? Even if you come to me, I will take 10 minutes before I ejaculate, but you wont enjoy it beacuse your mind will be busy counting the minutes away.

Only 21yrs and ma boyfrd keep on shouting at mi dat i wont grow up just bcoz i dont seem to enjoy sex all i feel is pain. Been following comments from most of our women on this blog i. But this is different for women-A woman can not marry two wives but a man can. It is easier for a promiscuous married woman to get HIV coz after all its men who decide whether to use a condom or ot period.

So u so-called modern girls shut up and go back to the old god days when women used to kneel b4 there hubbys and mariages usd to last. A man ejaculates and sperms go out of men. A woman receives and sperms will remain in her pusy for a long time until monthly period so ladies remain contaminated while men are cleaned out of there messy by women. Iam proud to be a man and not a woman because women are naturally dirty no matter how many times they bath.

Women are dirty and thats why every month they have periods to remove all the dirty stuff out. Anyway but i love women and dont get me wrong its just that at times its better to tell the truth. Most men and women have contracted HIV through marriages and i think the sooner these laws are passed the better. Sorry blogers for my bad comments about women its only that am really annoyed with women of nowadays.

I apologise unreservedly to all the women folk who may have been offended by my postings. Form two Failure, what were you thinking of when writing your comments? Think of your mother who brought you into this world, can you insult her like that honestly. Women are not the same, if you were dissappointed by one or two, then you dont have to generalize your insults.

Please, lets make constuctive comments that will help those in need. This is not an insult palour. Its the pomposity such as yours. What guarantee have you that you satisfy your wife. Take a closer look desparate man. Women know more than you do that there is more to marriage than sex and you know it. Grow up and be man enough. Cage your mouth before you become blasphemous and God will deal with. So your mother or your wife is a toilet coz those the closest women to you and you understand them better than any other woman.

Form 2 Failure, no wonder you are a Form 2. Dont insult women like that jusr as has said your mama is a woman so her included in your insults. That thing between your legs comes out with some dirt and even if you wash demons cannot be washed so watch what you say!

But let me give you a motherly advice, next time wash your mouth before opening it, bcoz it surely stinks. You have no maners even you young ladies. Learn to forgive. Why do u guys like discussing trivial issues other han what have tabulated in No sane person can open their mouth like that and within a short while apologise unless he is mocking. Such insults hurt you know, eccept you men have a tendency of defending each other even when you know you re wrong.

Nshimpundu and Form 2 Failure are one and the same person. On behalf of all Zambian men i appologize for his bad mouth, and he has since appologised. Anonymous, may be no one is interested in your comment. Just keep it to yourself I guess or worse still answer yourself. Can you all concentrate on the issue at hand! Leave the guy alone thats what he thinks of women. May be he is gay! You get 5 years for causing grievious bodily harm. Other people just do not have a conscious to use protection.

Nowadays it is better to use protection if you cannot abstain and only go live after both of you have been given an all clear. Form 2 I know what you are trying to do, bring up a hot debate. Its fine, only if you have nothing to do. Pse dont judge its my life and i enjoy to be gay. I hope sooon we shall be allowed to marry in Zambia like our colleagues in Europe.

I mean Civil partnership. Married gays should also be given equal rights as man and woman. I hope our future generation will recognise this. If you are then you must have a big nose, big boobs, kinky hair, dark in complexion, and a deep voice. If it hurts you why did you start it. You need to have your head examined and had your mother not produced you should have run mad. I was in marriage for 11years and my wife had a boyfriend in Lusaka when I was working on the copperbelt in Zambia.

She would ask for permission to visit her parents in Lusaka and Alas the whole period she would spend it with her married boyfriend. The solution is divorce and with time you will be healed of the pain. After divorce I have continued to support my 4 boys and thank God my first born is finishing secondary and my second born is in grade 9. Ladies if u feel me lets tell these men what they have been missing all these years. Noooooooo brothas u need to lift your game up coz its more than a woman pleasing u.

I dont care how big yo thing is…. Just what I said at Its not about the size of your manhood coz your ladies womanhood will adjust to any size. Its patience and skill and interest in satisfying your woman.. That way she will be yours forever. Marriage means more than sex. Sex is just a part of marriage. A marriage where there is no happiness,sex will also not be enjoyable. Therefore dont just rush into sex before examining how ur marriage has been.

Nowonder why ifyupo tafilekokwela coz u chaps are marrying for wrong reasons. May you please read this attentively. A blood covenant is the strongest covenant God has ever created. Thats why Jesus shed his blood for our salvation, redemption and deliverence. When a man erects, and a woman is ready for sex, its blood that flows to the penis and clitoris. Sex is a blood covenant, hence a strong covenant. Many demons are passed through sexual intercorse. I see that many people rather fear AIDS not knowing that the demons that are passed through sex corrupts your destiny and lead you poverty, AIDS, disease etc.

You are not cleaver Bretheran do not be deceived, God can not be mocked. See Continuatio. I am here in the States and i saw a man casted out a demon from Japan and china. The demons spoke chinese and japanese, yet this guy is Zambian. He thought he was cleaver to enjoy the Asians yet he had a good collection of demons from all over. Bretheren, cheating makes you misarable in your future. Stick to your wife, pray that everything will work out.

You can even pray and fast for your marriage bed and see what happens when the Lord touches you…. Fear God and love your neighbour! I think sex is 1 in marriage coz u will leave with that person forever right? No skills required but a man needs to know all the contours of my body or aleast some.

Muzambofela muvikwati no zuune! You are the ONE!!!!!! Until people realise the covenants that they make each time they sleep with someone, marriages will forever be miserable, men will always think sex is better somewhere else and PA LAST…destinys are collapsed. Sex results in joining of souls and you become one in the spirit and share the good, bad and ugly! Many great men have altered their destinies because of spirits and demons they inherited.

May the mercy of God open people to see beyond Mosi,shabeen and sharing the virus as if its about to go out of fashion. Know no man by the flesh. Its all about a good Shag. All problems dissapear after a good shag. Have you ever slept with a guy very quickly after meeting him, but as it started to happen you got that sinking feeling in your stomach?

You knew it was a mistake, but you did it anyway. And then the thing you KNEW would happen actually happened: He unexplainably disappeared from your life. Honestly, have you ever had this happen? Have you ever dated a great guy for a long time. But when you tried to bring up the topic o. But when you tried to bring up the topic of having a relationship and making a bigger commitment, his eyes just glazed over.

But he never seemed to see these mistakes. And the worst part of all: You kept thinking about it. Chances are you DID have something to do with it, and things probably WOULD have turned out differently if you would have known how to deal with the situation.

I really dont get your point. I was expecting you to give a more detailed piece of advice. Ali one Zambia one nation…I tried to make sense in what u r trying to say and this is my 2 cents. What do women want in a relationship? How do girls fall in love to men?

Ba BZM, Are you kidding me? This is outrageous for an adult to make simple mistakes over and over in one sentence. In my search to find a woman. I would like to marry her. Now one thing that offends me alot is the smell from her vagina. One wonders what could be the cause of such a smell. Is it dirty or disease? What should I do? Nowonder baice bandi ifyupo tafilekokwela. Dont miuse the word dating.

As long as u are engaged in a sexual relaionship with a girl ninshi chupo and not dating. Dating should noot involve sex. Wait until u get married then u shall enjoy her. But if u start sleeping with her before marriage then by the time u marry her u will startlooking for sex elsewhere.

I thought her being a nurse by profession, could have already done that for herself. Sometimes I just think of quitting relationship. Good day. I thought u said u were an economist. Kwena umusebanya!!!!!!. Who knows maybe you are the one who even infected her with that problem. There are certain infections that men give to women that do not manifest in a man but do in women. Be an honarable man and do the right thing.

Also ask God to forgive your fornication regardless of whether the people advising you did it or not. It is still wrong and a sin to God. Take care. You KC , can you stop stalking me around LT. You seem to be attracted to my posts only. You do not know me to call me Mudala In anycase i will not engadge in an insult match with you. Now what type of a disease that cant be cured. The last time I checked my HIV status was -ve. If she fails to appreciate your help then hard luck and in any case I think that dialogue and seeking medical attention is the only way forward becoz if not I do not see you living with that problem as it gets on your nerves.

If all fails you may just have to say your painful goodbyes, but do your part. Advise that the Bible says no sex before marriage. You need to advise and not insulting each other. What are the solutions to these problems we have at the moment. Change people you are adults!!!!!.. Trusting your partner maybe…. This is the third lady that have encountered with a similar odor.

Its Afrkan musk. The only way to love it is to lick. I think we are going off track a little bit. The main point of this thread is to identify why people cheat and how to avoid or fix it. About the odor, am not sure which shops in zed carry anti-fungal creams, feminine wash etc.

The heat contributes too, panty liners are verrrry expensive. I am sure its a boy whose been sleeping with young girls who do not know how to clean themselves or he has been targeting prostitutes who have no time to clean themselves and jump from one man to the next. It is the stale semen from the previous clients that stinks. My dear Mary I beg to differ with you over the use of feminine was and the like unless you have an infection.

Our parents never had those things and they did not stink. Water is a remedy to so many things, the men who expect their ladies to have small vaginas are just failures becoz they do …. Why is it that we never force them to enlarge their manhoods.

Men grow up and take responsibility. If some of your mothers had to see the kind of insults you subject them to, they would weep and curse the day you were born. Margie thanks girl for those wise vibes walasa! However on the feminine wash…the traditional soap is ok though these days there are non harsh and natural intimate cleansing soaps which r alternative to traditional soap and water which remove odor causing bacteria.

I agree with ya that our folks used water and soap but the world is changing just like we r blogging now to share ideas. To all those complaining of bad odor. Ever heard of Bacterial Vaginosis BV. It is the disordering of the chemical and biological balance of the normal flora germs in the vagina.

It is not an STI. Can also affect virgins. Symptoms are abnormal vaginal discharge especially after sex with a unpleasant fishy smell. Treatment is flagyl and other preparations mentioned above though it may reoccur. For more info check Wikipedia. I hope this helps. Ba clinician. What u mean treatment is Flagyl? What is the dosage? Do u drink or insert it? And some of them are beautiful,educated and decent too!

If you reading this and you are a lady,just make it a point not to fall into this bracket. No hard feelings ladies,just mind. Women need to have regular check ups i. I think our sister need to go to the Hospital and have her checked thouroghly. She could be having cervical cancer. So a pap smear may be helpful in this case,thats if they have tried antifungal and antibiotics.

Yeasts candiasis also occurs due to prolonged use of Pads. So women should ensure that Pads are changed regularly. Lusaka Times LT , where is my advice to 2 that I posted in the early hours of today? LT, I think you need to edit and fine tune your website so that contributions people make get posted without disappearing.

Remember that blog sites thrive on having dedicated visitors or bloggers like us. What r we doing about our men failing to satisfy us? I have one tip, men take tiiiiiiiiiime to kiss your woman not biting. Under a severance deal that Ted Haggard reached with the church in , he agreed to leave Colorado Springs and not talk about the scandal publicly. The deal expired at the end of New pastor Brady Boyd said Haggard was now free to live where he wanted and has returned to Colorado Springs.

He was fired in as pastor of the 14,member church he established, after a former male prostitute alleged they had a cash-for-sex relationship. The man also said he saw Haggard use methamphetamine. Haggard then moved to Phoenix with his family to begin what church leaders called a spiritual restoration program, which was expected to include counseling and prayer and last five years or longer.

Boyd said Haggard asked to released from the restoration program in January and is no longer connected with New Life. Haggard and church officials clashed last summer after Haggard sent an e-mail to a Colorado Springs television station outlining his plans to work as a counselor at a Christian-run halfway house in Phoenix. The e-mail also solicited financial support. A four-pastor team of overseers said that those plans were unacceptable and that Haggard would seek secular employment instead.

He said there were no plans for him to work again at New Life. The New Life Church was the site of a shooting in December in which two sisters were killed after a gunman fatally shot two people at a mission center in suburban Denver. Thanks once more fellow zedians. It would be your semen that produces that bad odor not the four women you slept with — impossible! Though it was quite a sensitive issue. Br mititi came in aggressive but now he has come to his senses. I think what was lucking was information on our part as men and secretiveness on our female folk.

Thanks as well to the clinician, laboratory scientist and somewhat Maria for shading more light. I sit with my lady. Stay well. I have to tell you the truth my brothers and sisters in Christ. That is why i keep changing these women i could not with stand the strong smell. Maybe my newly dear will smell fresh…i have to pray for now…..

DATING SECRETS FOR WOMEN

The man now wants to marry me and I have informed mum and aunt about him. I need advice on what to do. ANS: My sister, greetings to you too. How did she know your number if there is nothing going on with your man? I feel you should ask your man to clear the air before you can continue with him. Good day pastor, I wish to disagree with the advice offered in your column that appeared in the Sunday Mail edition of January 25, with regard to the above situation.

What is so illicit about that relationship between two consenting adults with no blood ties whatsoever? Issues of incest or inbreeding do not apply here either, what other grounds are there for your advice? Let the young lady and her man marry as it is right in the sight of God. Let no man put them asunder! Yours in Christ, Lube.

Pastor: Thank you dear Christian for your contribution. More contributions are welcome. Dear pastor, Thanks for the work you are doing for us. Most of the ladies who want marriages are disappointing. They just want to have fun and are not serious about marriage. Thank God now I have found one who is serious with me and accepted me the way I am. From now onwards I have stopped getting numbers because I am happy to have one. Thanks pastor. ANS: Thanks brother to hear from you that you have found one suitable helper Proverbs Develop and harness your relationship until you tie the knot.

Dear pastor, I am a man aged 29 looking for a serious beautiful lady to marry. She must be in Lusaka with one or two children. Or even without any children. Call I am in a serious position. If you have extra luggage children , make it clear from the onset.

More answers in the next edition and ensure you get a copy every Sunday. Zambia Daily Mail. Web Editor. Even ba broken-hearted should tell us the truth about his marriage before we all rush to condemn his desparate wife. I understand in american promiscuity is a profession, one need to take it as a career so that he can do it freely even when one is married.

Only God can deliver the evil who cheat on their partners. Man has offered so many theories leading to cheating and so many theories regarding the solutions to cheating but these theories have remained just that: theories and man and woman have continued cheating. No one can put reason to why people cheat because individuals are unique and therefore cheat because of unique reasons.

Cheating therefore remains a mystery and only GOD can deliver the evil who cheat. So lets pray for them to be redeemed amen. Cheating makes life interesting so lets cheat but only be careful not to catch the tsunami aids. The situation you are in is a sad one. My prayer is that it does not affect you studies.

Now coming to the issue, your wife has not apologized and has continued to flirt around. However,adultery is sin and calls for divorce. On the other hand, you appear to love your wife so much. The ball is in your court. My suggestion is seek services of a professional counselor as soon as you are back, but please do not make a mistake of having sex with your wife. I wish I could give you my details, we could communicate. They are as much as those men who. Life, even in marriage is a classroom.

You can have everything you want in your spouse if you put your mind to it. They are as much beasts as those men. Broken hearted, leave this baggage, this is very unnecessary luggage you are carrying. I guess your daughters are over 5 years and I also believe that if she cannot prove that she is capable of looking after the children the court will rule in your favour for custody, this woman is killing you slowly, leave her and start afresh, I have never been divorced and I do not know how it feels but if something has to be done, it has to be done, this woman is counterproductive.

If on the other hand you can forgive do so and wipe clean the past, but just one advise imputi isula…….. I suppose there is no harm in having a spare wheel? After all, there are more women than men, with a ratio of 6 women per man. If you marry only one and get glued to her, who is going to keep the remaining 5 busy?

Comrades, lets be humane and take the rest of the women on aboard. They need us more than we do. Ur not fit to be a blogger. How dare you spit nonsense on this educative and sensitive topic. I hereby award legal custody of the children to Broken-heartered. The marriage has been dissolved with no compensation from either parties. Court rise!!!!!! Ba Mwisho latest info is that there are more men than women now.

Check your facts right. Life and death lie before you and I urge you to choose life. Let us separate the men from the boys as some have got a long way to go before reality comes in. Ooooops some women have no manners. I have been waiting for a serious man for some time now and here comes this lady not taking marriage seriously.

Mr Broken-heartered dont worry there are plenty of us waiting to be married. So just take ur time u will soon find one. I hope it will be me. Most of us are innocent before we are cought. When we are caught we disappointmany even the whole congregation jimmy Swaggart For some of us that manage to stay faithful lets maintain the faith we are great.

Iyi nkhani ikali po kansi? Ka Shipundu naiwe 72, tawaishiba ifyo iya? Introspection and love for self wil help, i chose to respect myself a long time ago and so will i respect my marriage bed no matter what. I guess satan lives in between womens legs. Ask ka chiluba what i mean. My wife kissed my friend ones in my presence and tells me more tham two times a minute that she loves me.

The problem is that she is so builtifull that i get calm before she talks and the only thing i say is that its ok. Dont blame women its not their fault that they are builtifull. Just hope things dont happen to you ,because mixing semen is not good. It starts an exothermic explossive reaction which produces anger,depression,hiv,devorce,death and national debates like this one. Shakafuswa is still resarching on this topic. My dear even though am desperate for marriage i cant fall for a rogue like you.

Broken hearted….. Your kids still need a father and forgot about your wife? You want to believe that your wife, with the audacity to get laid in front of your daughters and maid only began the infidelity after you left for your studies. I think not. She never worried about consequences because she was at the the game for a while and knew what you are made of-CLAY.

That is why she can openly throw lies right in your face. Man up and go screw her best friend or sister to give back the torment that you want us to share with you. Protect your kids via divorce ASAP! Deliverance needed.

Recommended-Mountain of Fire and Miracles located all overi. Invite your wife to UK and discuss without interference. Confess each others sins to one another. Take HIV tests and seek deliverance together. The Blood of Jesus makes everything new.!!!!!!!!!!! Marriage is a covenant…get a prayer life together because love is not a feeling but a commitment.

Build your friendship.. The quest to be educated has become so costly yet even with all the degrees life isnt improved…spiritual wisdonm needed. What do you think a man should do to prevent his wife cheating other than money and material? Is it big and long or small, long and strong or short big and strong dig? Or strong, not big or long but ensure she reaches climax. Some men think money, material and taking family out is happiness 4 a wife…comment? And men, what should women do not be cheated?

By the way, no woman is ugly if they sexually good. While men always get caught, it takes 1 out of women to get caught. She probably has 4 spare wheels by her side. Wake up. Times are changing. From the adverts, sangomas can help you marry a person not interested in you, help you pass exams, help you in court cases etc. Where is the world heading to. God forbid. There are beautiful women in Zambia desperate to make a good husband happy.

Just work on collecting evidencs so she dosent take you to the cleaners and you end paying for the boyfriends beer habits with the maintenance you might have to give her. Those things are real and only when you go thru the would you understand. It was only two months after I had left home for studies that my dear hubby started sleeping with my niece. I have lots of evidence coz the girl has since confessed.

I am still out and my hubby denies and am confused about my next way forward. Extra marital is bad enough but when it is with a relative??????. That my horror story I need your advise. You know women are wiser the men. Weigh it properly and see which side will make you stronger and a better person. When it comes to divorce no one has the right to make a decision than the party involved. For him to go to a niece could also be a sign that they could have started it way before you left. By the way how old is this niece?

You might be married to a paedophile. This niece is actually above 20yrs. The fracas nearly disturbed my studies but I thank God for the stength and resilience. Otherwise it has killed my self esteem big time and fili okotuleya. Mimi, My husband slept with my friend and cousin. So I moved out and decide to do the same thing. I feel much better and does not hurt as much. Just cheat on him as well and you will be a happier person.

Life is too short to live worrying and being hurt. You are too good a person to let anyone treat you like that. And to make matters worse, since he quit his job I have been supporting him and his mother who lives in our house. Those things happened right under her nose. Up to now he draws my salary and that is how he decides to pay me back. Its a shame. You will be in safe hands and i am sure you will feel better and a stronger person.

Whatever the case I do not wish to do an eye for an eye business. I have children to look after and a God to serve. With such an attitude, you are doomed. But I realise it is a choice. Surely,you will reap what you sow. Except stay away from the innocent ones. I too am Gods faithfull one. Simlpy being humanistic.

Friendship can be found anywhere, even on a lonley ship. Two wrongs do not make a right. By going out and squaring it up that way with your husband what do you achieve if not worsening your pain? You will find real comfort and peace. Just to put icing on the cake, I fund him with two children when I married him.

He told me about them and assured me that those were result of mistakes done while one is still growing up. I excused him and accepted those and now it has dawned on me that he has another two that he hid from me. One older than my first born and one younger.

It looks like he was cheating n me in the very infancy of our marriage. When I say I am devasted, I am sure you understand. Mimi you need to move as you seem to be caught up in complex web. That house husband of your is not man enough as he feels that to prove his manhood is through spreading his seed. Girl he cannot even support his own family!

The guy cannot find a job either. As far as the marriage covenant is concerned he has broken that already through neglect and infidelity. LT, if we were to follow all those points, the majority of pipo will be suspect. Some one who does not fall under any of those points is leading a dull life, and will be dumped by the wife soon as being borring and predictable. Women seem to like rouges.

If you are are too stright and predicatble mybrother you are in trouble. My husband was a womaniser though he never showed it. I thought getting involved with someone else was the solution, its the biggest mistake I made. It will always haunt me but thanks to the blood of Jesus that cleanses us.

We are both born again christians now and very good friends. Stay blessed. You can be shasha or what but if you as a lines man does not use his flag, which is always pointing down, the players rebel. Same with women as long as you perform you can be as borring as anything, she will never run away. So gentlemen seek tundambuzi if you want to hangon in there to your girl and you can do anything even have 2,3.

Why continue to stay when you are not happy. It seems men who are lokked after by their wives are more of a problem than those who look after thier wives. You hubby is probably a gold digger and believe me, the day that he finds a job and has enough money to sustain himself, he will definately leave you clearly.

They are the last people you can even go to for support in such situations. I had accepted to live with him even without a job coz we were a happy family when he had his job. Now with his behaviour I am no longer keen. He indeed has disgraced me and we shll see when I get home. It is only a matter of a very short time. I really feel sorry for you my sister. It seems you have the same problem with mr Broken-heartered Infact he is not even fit to be called a husband coz he does not provide for you.

I would urge u to link up with Broken-heartered and am sure you two can make a nice couple since both of you know how it feels to be cheated. Mpezeni my brother what a way to solve a problem. Any let me offer a piece of advice to my brothers. You are free to take it or leave it. In the majority of cases in which a woman becomes unfaithful to her husband, the real reason behind that is the man himself.

Men whe you encounter such check yourself. You take it for granted that satisfy your wife when in the actual sense most women will agree with me that they rarely get to the pick. Men satisfying your wife is not about how big or long your manhood is but how patient and skilful you are. Some of you do not just take the time to make your wives happy but you are more concerned about your needs. Marriage is about exchanging, let your wife.

I am not at all supporting women who leave their matrimonial homes to seek comfort elsewhere but I am only stating facts. Most women are able to live with this and just accept the situation without a fuss but others go out. If I were a man I think I would gain satisfaction from the realisation that I have conquered my wife in bed. To my sisters pls try to communicate your needs to your man and work ot something.

God will not excuse the infidelity. Take care all. Acknowledge reading your tale with sadness. Sensitive as such an experience is, i feel you need a one-to-one spiritual and social counsel with people of outstanding credibility not one of the many street conmen dressing themselves Bishop titles when their own lives are a sham.

You need the counsel beside self judgment which the blog cannot just provide. Any partner in marriage who breaks the marriage vows just like that has no self respect or fear for God. It defies logic that a self respecting person in a life time covenant could strip naked for another one out of marriage. In my opinion, your wife is a wrong person to have married.

With such promiscuity, your marriage is at risk of being an HIV aids one which you you should be weary about. I doubt if you had any long and open courtship to learn of such behavioral shortcomings. It helps a lot to marry after being together in a long God fearing courtship where compromise has no place before the holy matrimony. Also, family background and lines of exposure as regards friends have some bearings in the success of a marriage.

Such have full of malice, wedge planting and without a background. Beware and cut them off. If there is no contrition and repentance despite your big heart for healing, divorce has a moral place. I for one would never have a place or day of accommodationists gambles in the era of HIV when partner breaks our covenant just like that.

Bedroom repairs at such odd hours on Fridays?. I need deliverance or brain surgery to buy that traversing alibi. Lovestone Gal! Thanks for calling me a stupid. I am not speaking on behalf of any woman coz last time I checked everyone has a mouth. I still stand by comment Yokuuba izuna!. If u gat a problem with my free speech then jump over a cliff and please do me a favor say hi to the devil while there.

Broken heart, either this story is hypothetical or ur wife is rotten. Does ur bedroom oen straight to the outside? Most zediam houses open into the sitting room then 2 bedrooms. Why keep used condom covers in de bedroom? For decos? Most people throw away condoms after use. I cant c anyone keeping condom covers even prostituts. Why return with police after she ran away? How far is ur house from police station?

Very few police stations near homes in zed. Did police have transport to come, cops in zed never have cars nite even 4 life or death cases. Was the lover a cop? Story doesnt tally. Idont follo. You are married and Your wife is a nurse. You have a child of 2 years. A child gets sick and dies. You are terribly shaken and afraid and you ask your wife how she thinks she got the disease.

You are told from giving injections to patients, sometimes an injection could prick her after withdrawing from a sick patient. There have been a lot of cases like yours which is still Medical puzzle. You might just be one of those people immune to the virus. Is it necessary getting married to her?

We know that romance is as good as penetration and a woman should enjoy sex as well as a man. But honestly marriage is more than sex; good parenting, wife obeying husband, parents doing together to educate their children academically, socially, behaviour wise etc. Just got back home mwami…ukasende impili mpli and shove it ku things and close dat thing with superglue…akasambilila….

The problem is that most husbands are semi-Gods who need to be honoured and obeyed even when they dont do anything to deserve this honour. Wake up and smell the coffee bro. Marriage is a two-way system, you get what you you put in: gabbage-in-gabbage-out.

Most men who sleep around think they are very clever but more often than not, their wives are also cheating on them big time. Its take a lot to push a woman into opening her heart and legs to another man, and most note most wives who cheat are forced into that circumstance but their hubbies.

Everytime I sleep with my husband I end up being consumed by thoughts of sleeping with other men; WHY? When I talked to him about it nicely , he went and got drunk and threatened to rape me. So now I just open my legs and count the seconds, tik,tok,tik,tok…! Please help. Confused wife how do you expect to enjoy sex when you just concentrate on counting the seconds during the act?? Even if you come to me, I will take 10 minutes before I ejaculate, but you wont enjoy it beacuse your mind will be busy counting the minutes away.

Only 21yrs and ma boyfrd keep on shouting at mi dat i wont grow up just bcoz i dont seem to enjoy sex all i feel is pain. Been following comments from most of our women on this blog i. But this is different for women-A woman can not marry two wives but a man can. It is easier for a promiscuous married woman to get HIV coz after all its men who decide whether to use a condom or ot period.

So u so-called modern girls shut up and go back to the old god days when women used to kneel b4 there hubbys and mariages usd to last. A man ejaculates and sperms go out of men. A woman receives and sperms will remain in her pusy for a long time until monthly period so ladies remain contaminated while men are cleaned out of there messy by women. Iam proud to be a man and not a woman because women are naturally dirty no matter how many times they bath.

Women are dirty and thats why every month they have periods to remove all the dirty stuff out. Anyway but i love women and dont get me wrong its just that at times its better to tell the truth. Most men and women have contracted HIV through marriages and i think the sooner these laws are passed the better. Sorry blogers for my bad comments about women its only that am really annoyed with women of nowadays.

I apologise unreservedly to all the women folk who may have been offended by my postings. Form two Failure, what were you thinking of when writing your comments? Think of your mother who brought you into this world, can you insult her like that honestly. Women are not the same, if you were dissappointed by one or two, then you dont have to generalize your insults. Please, lets make constuctive comments that will help those in need. This is not an insult palour. Its the pomposity such as yours.

What guarantee have you that you satisfy your wife. Take a closer look desparate man. Women know more than you do that there is more to marriage than sex and you know it. Grow up and be man enough. Cage your mouth before you become blasphemous and God will deal with. So your mother or your wife is a toilet coz those the closest women to you and you understand them better than any other woman. Form 2 Failure, no wonder you are a Form 2. Dont insult women like that jusr as has said your mama is a woman so her included in your insults.

That thing between your legs comes out with some dirt and even if you wash demons cannot be washed so watch what you say! But let me give you a motherly advice, next time wash your mouth before opening it, bcoz it surely stinks. You have no maners even you young ladies.

Learn to forgive. Why do u guys like discussing trivial issues other han what have tabulated in No sane person can open their mouth like that and within a short while apologise unless he is mocking. Such insults hurt you know, eccept you men have a tendency of defending each other even when you know you re wrong.

Nshimpundu and Form 2 Failure are one and the same person. On behalf of all Zambian men i appologize for his bad mouth, and he has since appologised. Anonymous, may be no one is interested in your comment. Just keep it to yourself I guess or worse still answer yourself. Can you all concentrate on the issue at hand! Leave the guy alone thats what he thinks of women. May be he is gay! You get 5 years for causing grievious bodily harm.

Other people just do not have a conscious to use protection. Nowadays it is better to use protection if you cannot abstain and only go live after both of you have been given an all clear. Form 2 I know what you are trying to do, bring up a hot debate. Its fine, only if you have nothing to do. Pse dont judge its my life and i enjoy to be gay. I hope sooon we shall be allowed to marry in Zambia like our colleagues in Europe. I mean Civil partnership.

Married gays should also be given equal rights as man and woman. I hope our future generation will recognise this. If you are then you must have a big nose, big boobs, kinky hair, dark in complexion, and a deep voice. If it hurts you why did you start it.

You need to have your head examined and had your mother not produced you should have run mad. I was in marriage for 11years and my wife had a boyfriend in Lusaka when I was working on the copperbelt in Zambia. She would ask for permission to visit her parents in Lusaka and Alas the whole period she would spend it with her married boyfriend. The solution is divorce and with time you will be healed of the pain. After divorce I have continued to support my 4 boys and thank God my first born is finishing secondary and my second born is in grade 9.

Ladies if u feel me lets tell these men what they have been missing all these years. Noooooooo brothas u need to lift your game up coz its more than a woman pleasing u. I dont care how big yo thing is…. Just what I said at Its not about the size of your manhood coz your ladies womanhood will adjust to any size.

Its patience and skill and interest in satisfying your woman.. That way she will be yours forever. Marriage means more than sex. Sex is just a part of marriage. A marriage where there is no happiness,sex will also not be enjoyable. Therefore dont just rush into sex before examining how ur marriage has been. Nowonder why ifyupo tafilekokwela coz u chaps are marrying for wrong reasons.

May you please read this attentively. A blood covenant is the strongest covenant God has ever created. Thats why Jesus shed his blood for our salvation, redemption and deliverence. When a man erects, and a woman is ready for sex, its blood that flows to the penis and clitoris. Sex is a blood covenant, hence a strong covenant. Many demons are passed through sexual intercorse. I see that many people rather fear AIDS not knowing that the demons that are passed through sex corrupts your destiny and lead you poverty, AIDS, disease etc.

You are not cleaver Bretheran do not be deceived, God can not be mocked. See Continuatio. I am here in the States and i saw a man casted out a demon from Japan and china. The demons spoke chinese and japanese, yet this guy is Zambian. He thought he was cleaver to enjoy the Asians yet he had a good collection of demons from all over.

Bretheren, cheating makes you misarable in your future. Stick to your wife, pray that everything will work out. You can even pray and fast for your marriage bed and see what happens when the Lord touches you…. Fear God and love your neighbour! I think sex is 1 in marriage coz u will leave with that person forever right?

No skills required but a man needs to know all the contours of my body or aleast some. Muzambofela muvikwati no zuune! You are the ONE!!!!!! Until people realise the covenants that they make each time they sleep with someone, marriages will forever be miserable, men will always think sex is better somewhere else and PA LAST…destinys are collapsed. Sex results in joining of souls and you become one in the spirit and share the good, bad and ugly!

Many great men have altered their destinies because of spirits and demons they inherited. May the mercy of God open people to see beyond Mosi,shabeen and sharing the virus as if its about to go out of fashion. Know no man by the flesh. Its all about a good Shag.

All problems dissapear after a good shag. Have you ever slept with a guy very quickly after meeting him, but as it started to happen you got that sinking feeling in your stomach? You knew it was a mistake, but you did it anyway. And then the thing you KNEW would happen actually happened: He unexplainably disappeared from your life. Honestly, have you ever had this happen? Have you ever dated a great guy for a long time.

But when you tried to bring up the topic o. But when you tried to bring up the topic of having a relationship and making a bigger commitment, his eyes just glazed over. But he never seemed to see these mistakes. And the worst part of all: You kept thinking about it. Chances are you DID have something to do with it, and things probably WOULD have turned out differently if you would have known how to deal with the situation.

I really dont get your point. I was expecting you to give a more detailed piece of advice. Ali one Zambia one nation…I tried to make sense in what u r trying to say and this is my 2 cents. What do women want in a relationship? How do girls fall in love to men? Ba BZM, Are you kidding me? This is outrageous for an adult to make simple mistakes over and over in one sentence. In my search to find a woman. I would like to marry her. Now one thing that offends me alot is the smell from her vagina.

One wonders what could be the cause of such a smell. Is it dirty or disease? What should I do? Nowonder baice bandi ifyupo tafilekokwela. Dont miuse the word dating. As long as u are engaged in a sexual relaionship with a girl ninshi chupo and not dating. Dating should noot involve sex.

Wait until u get married then u shall enjoy her. But if u start sleeping with her before marriage then by the time u marry her u will startlooking for sex elsewhere. I thought her being a nurse by profession, could have already done that for herself. Sometimes I just think of quitting relationship. Good day. I thought u said u were an economist. Kwena umusebanya!!!!!!. Who knows maybe you are the one who even infected her with that problem. There are certain infections that men give to women that do not manifest in a man but do in women.

Be an honarable man and do the right thing. Also ask God to forgive your fornication regardless of whether the people advising you did it or not. It is still wrong and a sin to God. Take care. You KC , can you stop stalking me around LT. You seem to be attracted to my posts only. You do not know me to call me Mudala In anycase i will not engadge in an insult match with you.

Now what type of a disease that cant be cured. The last time I checked my HIV status was -ve. If she fails to appreciate your help then hard luck and in any case I think that dialogue and seeking medical attention is the only way forward becoz if not I do not see you living with that problem as it gets on your nerves. If all fails you may just have to say your painful goodbyes, but do your part.

Advise that the Bible says no sex before marriage. You need to advise and not insulting each other. What are the solutions to these problems we have at the moment. Change people you are adults!!!!!.. Trusting your partner maybe…. This is the third lady that have encountered with a similar odor. Its Afrkan musk. The only way to love it is to lick. I think we are going off track a little bit. The main point of this thread is to identify why people cheat and how to avoid or fix it.

About the odor, am not sure which shops in zed carry anti-fungal creams, feminine wash etc. The heat contributes too, panty liners are verrrry expensive. I am sure its a boy whose been sleeping with young girls who do not know how to clean themselves or he has been targeting prostitutes who have no time to clean themselves and jump from one man to the next.

It is the stale semen from the previous clients that stinks. My dear Mary I beg to differ with you over the use of feminine was and the like unless you have an infection. Our parents never had those things and they did not stink.

Water is a remedy to so many things, the men who expect their ladies to have small vaginas are just failures becoz they do …. Why is it that we never force them to enlarge their manhoods. Men grow up and take responsibility. If some of your mothers had to see the kind of insults you subject them to, they would weep and curse the day you were born.

Margie thanks girl for those wise vibes walasa! However on the feminine wash…the traditional soap is ok though these days there are non harsh and natural intimate cleansing soaps which r alternative to traditional soap and water which remove odor causing bacteria. I agree with ya that our folks used water and soap but the world is changing just like we r blogging now to share ideas.

To all those complaining of bad odor. Ever heard of Bacterial Vaginosis BV. It is the disordering of the chemical and biological balance of the normal flora germs in the vagina. It is not an STI. Can also affect virgins. Symptoms are abnormal vaginal discharge especially after sex with a unpleasant fishy smell.

Treatment is flagyl and other preparations mentioned above though it may reoccur. For more info check Wikipedia. I hope this helps. Ba clinician. What u mean treatment is Flagyl? What is the dosage? Do u drink or insert it? And some of them are beautiful,educated and decent too!

If you reading this and you are a lady,just make it a point not to fall into this bracket. No hard feelings ladies,just mind. Women need to have regular check ups i. I think our sister need to go to the Hospital and have her checked thouroghly.

She could be having cervical cancer. So a pap smear may be helpful in this case,thats if they have tried antifungal and antibiotics. Yeasts candiasis also occurs due to prolonged use of Pads. So women should ensure that Pads are changed regularly.

Lusaka Times LT , where is my advice to 2 that I posted in the early hours of today? LT, I think you need to edit and fine tune your website so that contributions people make get posted without disappearing. Remember that blog sites thrive on having dedicated visitors or bloggers like us. What r we doing about our men failing to satisfy us? I have one tip, men take tiiiiiiiiiime to kiss your woman not biting. Under a severance deal that Ted Haggard reached with the church in , he agreed to leave Colorado Springs and not talk about the scandal publicly.

The deal expired at the end of New pastor Brady Boyd said Haggard was now free to live where he wanted and has returned to Colorado Springs. He was fired in as pastor of the 14,member church he established, after a former male prostitute alleged they had a cash-for-sex relationship. The man also said he saw Haggard use methamphetamine. Haggard then moved to Phoenix with his family to begin what church leaders called a spiritual restoration program, which was expected to include counseling and prayer and last five years or longer.

Boyd said Haggard asked to released from the restoration program in January and is no longer connected with New Life. Haggard and church officials clashed last summer after Haggard sent an e-mail to a Colorado Springs television station outlining his plans to work as a counselor at a Christian-run halfway house in Phoenix. The e-mail also solicited financial support. A four-pastor team of overseers said that those plans were unacceptable and that Haggard would seek secular employment instead.

He said there were no plans for him to work again at New Life. The New Life Church was the site of a shooting in December in which two sisters were killed after a gunman fatally shot two people at a mission center in suburban Denver. Thanks once more fellow zedians. It would be your semen that produces that bad odor not the four women you slept with — impossible!

Though it was quite a sensitive issue. Br mititi came in aggressive but now he has come to his senses. I think what was lucking was information on our part as men and secretiveness on our female folk. Thanks as well to the clinician, laboratory scientist and somewhat Maria for shading more light. I sit with my lady. Stay well. I have to tell you the truth my brothers and sisters in Christ.

That is why i keep changing these women i could not with stand the strong smell. Maybe my newly dear will smell fresh…i have to pray for now….. Zambian men are failing to handle the fact that our women are cheating also!! Our women are now empowered,have great jobs,travel and have social lives outside of the yard!! This situation obtains in developed countries and that is why adultery is now so rife…in fact women in these countries are not looking to marriage for any sort of security and are doing rather well without it!

Cheating is a disease. I know of men and women who cheat and yet they have everything. It has nothing to do with what you are lacking. It has everything to do with what you believe. Yes,I need to satisfy my wife. In the competition between men and women there are no winners…everybody loses!! I do concur with both and Indeed the bible is clear and straight forward about results of infidelity.

The truth of the matter is that, those women who have joined the cheating business not to say it is right have done so in response to what their spouces have subjected them. It takes quite some doing to drive a woman into extra marital affairs. A well looked after and appreciated woman will always stick to her man and honor him. Ladies, pls those of you who resorted to joining the menfolk in this demeaning business take some time to critically look at yourselves and think whether it is really worth it.

My opinion is that in a relationship where the man is perpetually cheasing …. It is really devaluing oneself to go into such hedious activities. Men feel they have a right to have more than one woman and if you re married to such a one, its better to let go if all effort fails. For men those who are in that category and they are the majority am afraid we only pray to God who created you to recreate in you human hearts. Lets all just go back to the basics. Broken Hearted…..!

And if Today she admitted and asked for forgiveness Must he take her Back? Maybe after……. One Love and For Love we Live!!! Pardon, My grammer errors in my last comments…. Shizungu can be hard to write……. Its about time we challenged the status quo..

They have tried to change their hair styles, Cookiing habits, attended women conferences, blished their skills but still our fathers and their Husbands are not coming home. God Come down with Deliverance. Men and Fathers homes need u. Let me give you good advice broken hearted. Its simple, that woman has flouted the rules of the game. Women are divorced on suspicion and u? U caught her red handed.

I will be frank with you, its not easy to divorce someone you love especially that that this is one person you always thot u wud spend the rest of your life with. Devorce her, it wont be easy yes. But sometimes we need to think with our heads and not hearts. It will take long to heal if at all it will heal but its the right thing to do. Divorce her with head not your heart.

As for your wife am comming for her shortly…. You stupid, ungrateful, shameful, dim, thick, brainless witch. If only you knew what you have done to this man. May your soul burn in hell. May you grow unripe grapes on your forehead. You are very lucky I have to go but am not finished with you am coming for you you promiscuous piece of flesh in a skirt mascaraing as a wife. Its good to last long becoz that way you satisfy your women which is what most men fail to do.

But there is a limit to that too. If you go on for 2 hours you will only end up making your woman sore as she will have dried up. And for your own information, women are experts are faking it. But why are you sleeping with so many women?

My wife is now having male friends though I have no proof that she is sleeping around.

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I love to hang out and have fun Yes I'm a very beautiful black African lady who is attracte Am a good listener A person who lovelove to interact with people who accept me for me. I love cooking, listening to gospel music more. I know almost evrything Im a graphic designer on Holliday here in Lusaka i am form Iceland been here for month almost.

I am a breath of fresh air. I am a breath of fresh air I enjoy trying new things, fine dining, cooking , reading and being outdoors. I'm a loving person I'm a loving and caring person who loves making friends. Get in touch to find out more about me and I love adventure more. Visiting and enjoying Lusaka I like travelling and see different cultures and people.

I enjoy sibbing a glass of wine with good company. I am visiting Lusaka and would like someone to join me with wine. Get to knw me,am lovable Well am a down to earth person ,I luv nature, da beach is my ideal place to be,I luv animals cats nd dogs.. Am jovial, free spirited ,I luv adventure tryn out new staff am open minded.. Am also fami You just forget about this lady and she was just cheating on you.

Mable please, if you are looking for a man to marry and you are 26 then come to me, Now back to the Cheating spouses, ba Ethel Konji dont lie OK, a woman need to be bitten if she is cheating on you, because she is not, she is going to leave and thats the best way you can tell if she cheated or not, but that comes with consiquences, but also the best and most efficient way to treat a wife.

Mable where have you been and what are you still waiting for? The Mr. Right of your life is here. Try me babe.. I dont if you like to relocate, but no to raise so much hope let meet and discuss. Is there any man out there who found out about their partner cheating on them but decided to go ahead and marry them. The only time when you are forced to marry her is if you made her belly very big pregnant other wise you are retarded.

Mr Kasonde says, I hope you do not beat up your lovely wife whenever she makes a slight mistake. Marble you better be really careful and make no mistakes because Mr Kasonde is a no nonsense man he is strict and he believes in battering the wife. Good luck to you and your choice. A few months into our relationship I found out she was communicating with an ex,even meeting for chicken and chips at nandos.

Anyway after much talk and tears she promised it would never happen again. What a nightmare she turned out to be. Her boss was giving her lifts to work and they soon started dating. Just putting on make up and wigs. Anyway I finally divorced her.

Keep away from people who cheat. I had all the signs before we married but her beauty and crocodile tears blinded me. Ba Jimmy sorry about your past though you could have seen the signs in the first stages when she was doing the nandos with the x or was he really the x?

Ichi chi gelo she doesnt just listen and you did well to disconnect her. Just one advise, even when you are chassing these girls hope u meant ladies consdering yo age , pls take care especially when tasting or is it testing, its a rough world we are living in mudala wandi, wish u all the best in your search and hope you find one to make you happy. Reading tories about ladies complaining about sexual unsatisification from their partners makes me realise that my woman is a very lucky woman.

To start with, I am circumcised and it takes me long to ejaculate. I can control my ejaculation and prolong my orgasim. I always ensure my woman comes first then me last. I always play foreplay to ensure I stimulate my woman.

I encourage her to wear sexy underwear like G-strings and lingerie to help me get sexually attracted to her. My complaint is that my woman only enjoys sex in the missionary position and says the other positions are painful. She wants it in the bedroom and on the bed always. She cant go more than one round. The strange thing is that despite all this she enjoys sex with me though i think am being starved.

Come on,one round per night is enough! Your wife will start faking it if you start pushing for more rounds. After a hard days work, one round and a good nights sleep is all a woman could ask for! When we look at Cheating spouses from the point of view of men cheating I feel women play a major role in their partners starting to cheat. The problem with women is that they find the truth too easy and plain to believe. For example telling your woman that youve come home late because you were with friends wouldnt suffice because they expect to hear something nasty.

This is why men have resorted to not lying perse but rather being economical with the truth because women fail to handle the truth in its entirety. Most of these calls would be normal calls from ladies but to avoid acrymony men find themselves lying.

Not to be castigated about his wereabouts. Mr EasyE pliz check yourself than blaming your woman and labelling her like other women. Problems in a home will always be there coz we come from different home and backgrounds. Foundation of your marriage matters just like a house. Communication is important in marriage. If you are able to communicate with your wife maybe she would not be behaving in the way she behaves. She will be occupied find ways of pleasing you. Yes there are differences in marriage but that should not hinder you from enjoying your marriage.

Please Mr EasyE enjoy your wife of your youth coz whereever you run to there will be problems. Solve the problems that you know than the ones you dont know. Free advice, I dont frown immediately when my husband has hurt or he is annoyed. I wait until he has I ve or he has cooled down to discuss the issue i.

Muku you sound very mature. How did you manage to get your husband to talk communicate. I usually find out days later that I did something wrong. My dear mukuka, communication is not the issue here. The issue is trust. What is communication without trust. I expect my wife to believe me when I tell her that am late because I knocked off late as opposed to suspecting infidelity just because of the general idea that if a man comes home late then he was womanising.

This world can be full of imorality but believe it or not there are still few men like me who can come home genuinely late. There is nothing irritating like being accused of things you are not doing especially when you are trying your level best to please your wife. This is why in my previous response, I said, and still belives so, that women play a major role in their husbands starting to cheat on them. Even a pastor who always preaches about the devil should not be suprised if some of his members start worshiping the devil.

So to all married women, make us miss home when we are away instead of that tribunal you make us sit before. You might just be driviing your man into an affair. This is why in my previous response, I said, and still belive so, that women play a major role in their husbands starting to cheat on them. Perhaps instead of working late you can go to work very early in the morning.

Hope this helps. EasyE 39 ; your point may be looked at by many on this blog to be in the negative, but i think i get what you are trying to say. Suspicions must have their limits. It is not my intention to misuse the Holy Scriptures; all i am trying to say is that those whose lives are NOT straight will easily be suspicious of their partners even when their partners are in fact faithful to them.

What we see in other people is mostly a reflection of WHO we are. A prostitute, for example will usually see a prostitute in every woman. Relationships must be built on love and trust, among other things. These are two different things!! The sooner you learn the difference the better for you and your mate. The women are not an exception to this rule.

Poligamist makes it look like it is normal for a man to have girlfriends and a woman to have a boyfriends. Cheating is something that has been going on for years in Zambia and if it were not for AIDS not many people would have put their ama tako panshi. I have seen it with my own naked eyes. I do not know what sex is in our minds, we think with the bottom instead of the brian. If this trend continues we shall all perish and Zambia will be a desert to say it straight out. Oh, so you call us cheating spouses ha?.

We prefer being called starved spouses. Because thats what we are. If we cant get what is duly ours in our own homes we will certainly look elsewhere. How many things are we going to beg for? We only after a little fun which unfortunately we cant get where we are supposed to get it under normal circumstances. Is that too much to ask for? We accept, we have oversized appetites and understand that we cant lamp all this appetite on our beloved partners.

So to help the situation we find it a better solution to distribute the appetite. If u cant handle our appetite, why should you complain. I think you should read what Mukuka comment 40 said. Its plain to see you are so angry with your wife and I guess all women on the planet. Theres no way you will even listen to us even if we were to talk sense. Well enjoy your oversized appetite and the consequences that come with it.

I guess thats the legacy you want to leave. Bwalya I give up. You will be suprised to learn am not even married. The truth? Am engaged to a loving and beautiful woman who is no where near the hypothetical woman I have been refering to. Its important to get into the shoes of people like Rose who complained about sexual dissatisfaction.

The idea behind a blog like this one is to exchange views. If we all agreed this blog would not have had 53 responses and would therefore be boring. Defend your oversized appetite. I think you are married. If not you are a good actor or a chauvinist. For 7 year I thought I was a happily married woman with 2 beautiful kids and a God-fearing and loving husband, who never gave me any reason at all to suspect any wrongdoing on his party.

You cant even begin to imagine the shock and utter disbelief I was in. After much confrantation, he finally admitted that he had a 4 year old child with another woman, who by the tone of the sms, was still his girlfriend. Anyway its now close to 5 months and the pain is still the same, but suprisingly Im still with my husband.

The only difference now is that something inside me died, for the first time in my life, I understand why wives cheat; and if Im ever tempted, I know I will…. Ouch Mercy,that was painful. Are there any warning signs you think you missed along the way?

I wish you well. As hard as it be to come to terms with it, dont even try to cheat on him, leave him and find another love. Two wrongs wont make right. Mercy, that sounds serious; unfortunately these things are quite common. Yeah, situations like those cant be imagined, you have to experience it. Wish you well. Am assuming that these things are on the increase. My theory though is that the increasing need for women to engage in economic activity to support families has reduced their vigilance loosely speaking on spouses particularly on quality of time availed to husbands.

All sensible people know that our women in Zambia do it all. Bwalya, there were no warning signs at all. I spent sleepless nights trying to figure out if there were any tale-tell signs I might have missed and couldnt come up with any. I just concluded that he must have gone to extra lengths to be very careful. But I think he also took advantage of the fact that I trusted him so much; buts thats only becoz he has never given me any reason not to trust him, none at all.

Why am I still with him? Honestly I also dont know; I think most of it has to do with external pressure to stay. Worse, we built a house together. I will therefore not blame Mercy for whatever course of action she takes because she will have had been forced to do so. We all react differently. Forgive him and move on The problem here is that he has not confessed because he has seen wrong in his deeds but because you found out, so chances are he still loves this girlfriend and is still seeing her.

Leave him and move on The problem here is you still love him and leaving will obviously be out of frustration, you will miss him and chances are that you will come back to him. Cheating on him might feel the best revenge at the moment but believe me if you are not a player, you will never be and you will end up being more frustrated and risk your life. Mercy I greatly sympathize with u. Obviously, no well meaning person wants something like that to happen to anyone. And you have the right to feel angry about what your husband did to you and your kids!

The difficulty thing about Trust is that unlike Love, Trust must be earned. Ofcourse, some would say that love is also earned in a way. That may be true. This may be subject to debate. And i can easily justify this. I am sure you still love your husband.

That is one of the reasons you are hurt. But you nolonger trust him!! This is normal after such an experience. I can only advise that you find help from women you respect and trust. Probably, those who have had similar experience. Above all, Choose a course of action which is consistent with your highest aspirations.

You see the biggest crime you husband committed was to hide about the child. This guilt will forever haunt your hubby but again on the flip side this man loves, treasures and adores you and put your interest first,he did not want to break your heart based on your mutual existence. What you do, put this matter before the elders his Bashi bukombe and your bana bukombe you need to chart the way forward.

What you dont know doesnot hurt but that you know it hurts and more is yet to happen as long as these two people are ever in contact. You men nowadays dont have time for your wives and families. MBA, give me yo email I see how I can help. I can give you for free what you husband is not giving you. Someone needs to do a refreshner course for lusaka husbands before they all become fathers to children that are not biologically theirs.

Can you blame the wives if they look elsewhere for what their husbands knowinngly fail to provide? Some few years ago i had to fall in love wit my child hood gal friend. But as years go by we started facing problems in our relationship, just as any other relationship.

Though we managed to pull through and solved everything. This gal travelled to lsk and for one year without communication. Where i was left,i lost pecience en i had look some where else,coz i needed to be reminded that am loved. Then after i had fallen in love wit some other gal,here comes my first girl,en she claims she is still in love with me. I feel,i love both girls but i dont want to have two girls in my life.

Help me pliz ,coz i dont wanna cheat on these beautiful girls. Cheating spouses do not start cheating only when they are in Marriage. Most of the people who do so normally have had a history of frequent change of partners. A lady that has so many boyfriends before getting married will normally not be able to stay faiful to her husband. Unfaithfulness is normally character trait. Some ladies despite being given everything by their husbands will still be promiscious.

They say it is adventure. The danger involved gives them an extra thrill. I know you love one of them wholeheartedly,thats the one to go for. MBA, I would like to let u know that am in exactly the same shoes as u except am a husband. Feel free to conact me at [email protected] We might just be meant for each other. The fact that this one topic has been running since March is proof that people need somewhere to share grown-up ideas while at work or wherever.

Anyone out there know of a site for mature zambians? If you dont beat them join them. I concur with I took my wedding vows very seriously but after years of pain and hurt as a result of his wayward ways, I found solace in another man. Since then I have been happy, and more importantly, I condomise both at home and abroad.

You wont achieve anything through this and more over you women are so vulnerable to infections. You are taking a risk business that will make you regret the rest of your days. If marriage cant work quit and move on than sticking to someone you very well know that you dont love. The law these days is protective of women who are found to be abused. Seek the services of Women clinic in villa and you will be helped, not ubuule ubo ulecita ukepayisha abengi. I agree with you Pelete,these are not days to show off how you bitch around with men or women.

Those hopeless men you ill be hunging around with,are probably married to innocent wives. Remember, players come and go but the game remains. So,my dear MBA think of your children if you have any, before making taking up that step you want to take. MBA The root of cheating in marriages has nothing to do with the actions of the other person it is simply who you are. Once you got married you for a few yers suppressed your miscief but after a few years the trait simply resurfaced and you began using your husbands infidelity as an exercuse.

If we are to check your C. Even amongst our own female Children deep down our ourselves as parents we are able to know who most likely will end up in devorce and who will stay in a marriage. By character, habits and behaviour. A girl who has had the least partners before marriage normally has high chances of a lasting marriage. Have you heard of condoms, that what i use. I only have one life and i have to leave it to the fullest. Tell me how many marriages could break today if people had to leave because they are unhappy.

Dont we all hung around for our children who in the end suffer because of the experiences they have with the lack of love between parents. I know most people would want to pretend but the trend is that many married women are MBA married but available. I attend kitchen parties and usually these kitchen parties start at 14hrs and and many women leave their matrimonial homes earlier than the stated times but only arrive at the kitchen parties to Do you ever ask yourselves where they go.

Nowander we have the mashrooming of Guest houses in Lusaka. Hi sweet MBA,i gree with you i think ihave what somebody has been depriving of. Lets be in touch,iam ready for you. How can i get in touch with you? MBA dont start intimidating us.

Some of us have got good loving and caring wives. More so we even give them everything love, care and we are good in bed so they have nothing to look for in other men. Infact we are so good in bed that when we are away its time for them to rest. Bad habits die hard. Do you know the meaning of the word RISK? You could be using condoms quite alright but when people are using their mouths and fingers do they use condoms?

HIV can be taken in so many forms, cuts ,bruises and in rare cases the condom breaking especially these cheap ones from China. So its not about you fulfilling your desires the whole thing is still not safe. Just as a matter of curiosity how many men do you bed per month? I would like to do a research with you incognito. I have one stable shoulder to cry on.

EasyE 80 do not be sure about your so called princess. Lets be honest people cheating feels good, but if feels bad when your wife does it to you; thats why I make sure that my wife dosent cheat on me but I cheat on her. Hornesly its much easier for a woman to avoid cheating than for a man. Imaging you and your wife live with her young sister or relative whose about 16 shes beautiful, short skurt, tight shirt, big ass, I mean what would you do?

It seems to me you dont want to listern to any advice. You better of having having one quality night with your husband in a year than making love without kissing. There must be a reason your husband is running away. We men meet a lot of sexy women whereever we go so married women should pull your socks in as far as looks are concerned. There is nothing as good as sharing a bed with a fresh smelling woman so take a shower before sleeping and smell good.

Sex is an art. Be willing to learn new positions that make your man stimulated. Dont insist on the ordinary ways. It becomes boring. Wear Sexually enticing clothing like lingerie and g-strings, tight fitting and transparent dresses atleast indoors. MBA is preoccupied with competing with the hubby and no matter what the hubby tries she is already at speed 33 she has completely switched off, she needs to rejuvinate herself, sit herself down and work top -down from the adulterer affair she is having and bring in the experience she has gained and share with the hubby.

I dont believe the hubby is at fault,MBA must be at fault, men are not difficult to tame, good meals,smart appearance not ifikwesa fyalilepuka napakati , a nice cologne, lovely smiles, responsiveness and above all calmness. You should not always be yelling at kids all the time, love is so broad and different men appreciate it in different ways.

Stop flirting with that shoulder,you are wasting his resources sperms which are meant for the dear wife. Ushumfwa patunono.. In the same vein married men should also know that their wives meet sexy men everyday and here are some tips for you to keep your wives.

Be romantic,write her love notes,tell her you love her and tell her how beautifil she is and how much you appreciate her. Ati ifikwesa fyalilepuka napakati. I tell you these wives take us for granted. Some even wear bombasa bemuda can you imagine. With ichilusokoshi kumutwe when sleeping. Teti walota. As for lingeries ba pelete, you are the only man I have heard who doesnt like them.

A friend of mine confessed that he cant make love to a woman who is not in g-strings. He would rather rush to the nearest botique and buy her a g-string before they continue. As for a naked body being more appetising, well it depends on the woman. Some of these shapes look nice in cloths but when they strip you can run away.

But tell me what six pack has Mpondela got, to keep being followed by all those married man. Ba disire muli ba bufi. The fact that you recognise that the sister to your wife or the servent has a beautiful face, cone shape and big ass is reason enough to tell us that you plot evil on them. Poor girls. They dont know there is lion near pretending to be a sheep. Elyo mili ba bufi sana bamudala. Am sure you are a zima ndola.

How can you notice a big ass and a cone shape on a sister. It doesnt tie up. Iye utu baiche. Am sure you even encourage your wife to bring in as many as she can so that you back, relax and enyoy yourself. You already know I love you. Why should I write you notes. Its easy, if I dont love you, you wouldnt be here. You are my wife therefore you are beautiful, if you werent you wouldnt be my wife. So I see no reason why I should remind you on how beautiful you are.

Moreover its makes you big headed. We men are bread winners. We have no time to waste. That is why a quick one is always the case. Moreover why delay the inevitable. Whispering sweet nothings? After lifting all those heavy thighs dont u think we deserve some rest. Tell them easyE 94 didnt say sister i meant wifes sister thats different I dont know which planet Desire 89 comes from Bwalya mwaiche you are too complicated okey EasyE is right, to summerise all this I think all you need is to spend more time with your wife.

Just kidding bwalya, You know we love you and we will try our best to adhere to the tips you have given us. Where we fail am sure we can do better next time. Tell us about what we need to do for you women to fell appreciated, otherwise we cant know, we are not women remember.

So we depend on you telling us where we go wrong. That is why we expect you to submitt when we tell you we want to try that position where you do like you are chaniging the bulb. MBA communicate with your man in bed, tell him where you want to touched and at what speed you want him to be moving. Love making should not be a sacrid and solemn moment. And for you Bwalya,all your suggestions are mills and booms based,where there is love things just flow dont work like you are a in a board room with steps to follow otherwise that dellusion.

EasyE as for lingerie I do appreciate them but they are not so much of a spice,dont concetrate on them so much put empahasis on the curves and firmness of the flesh. MBA where are you? Go back to your bedroom. You are the ones creating people like MBA. As for easy e ha ha ha you are really funny.

I like 6. Those heavy thighs come from those pills we take. Bwalya the problem with you is that you want to argue, you see. If I trusted my wife I wouldnt be bothering writing this stuff at the moment, you see I respect my Bemba wife but in 91 I tried all those rules and even others before. Afterwards she will know you were faking afterall after sex everyday you cant keep whespering sweat things in her ear you know.

I just eat, sex the go to bed she knows the deal, I dont think shes going to believe I have changed, she will think its just something temporaty. Bemba women are too smart. So joint effort is required. All those a movie dreams and they cannot be practical. Just enjoy sex spontaneously and things will be said along the way not waiting at the end of the game.

Pasopo Bwalya. We are tired of your hopeles,senseless comfrontations. Be responsible and have self respect,then you ill learn to respect others. This is an open flow,i can comment on what i have experienced, and there is no point for me to cheat. And correct you am not a Ndola fellow,you are just insulting people who live in Ndola. So my dear friend am warning you,if you want to go on participating on this blog refrain from your harsh comfrontations.

Due to self respect i have reserved my hard side,but if you persist am raedy to face you on war of words. Every time you comment you let the world look into your mind. Lastly,put your true identity,you are trying to be EasyE wanna be.

He is an American and his behaviour is by far from the way you are trying to emulate him. You are very far from being Easy E. Am sure if he heard to day that there is a ka person from Zambia claiming to be him,he can commit suicide.

Desire, If you cant stand criticism then this is no place for you. This is no place for the faint hearted like you. This is a place for mature, thick skinned people who stand stinging criticism. I am actually very suprised that you take offense of my reponse to you.

I expected the exact opposite. I expected you to laugh and respond positevely. If you dont appreciate humor there is nothing I can do to help you. If you missed your English lesson on expressive writting, take this as an opportunity to make up. In the same vain, When I said you are a zima ndola, I didnt mean you come from Ndola, I meant you are clever because people….. Moreover even if I meant that you come from ndola, what will be wrong with that.

Ndola is a nice town that only you has a problem being associated with it. My workmates sometimes call me a zima ndola because I come from the copperbelt and its something we laugh about. Learn this now and come for your certificate later. There is nothing like a correct and wrong contribution to this blog. And as you said I would like to agree with you, this is a free flow blog. Can you honestly tell me what was so offensive about my response to you?

Learn to read articles in perspective and context rather than taking the literal meaning of words and reading responses in isolation. I can assure you that if this is your style of reading, it wont be long before you sue someone for character assasination……. I simply challanged you to tell us how possible it is that you can notice a cone shape, cute face and big ass on someone you consider as sister.

It doesnt hold water. And when I said you plot evil on these girls, that was just an expressive way of saying you admire them. And you want to threaten me for a war of words. Am not afraid of text like you son. I dont have qualms taking you head on. MBA is not here anymore. Lets be honest people from copperbelt are not smarter than us from Lusaka, maybe the women, but guys are Dum.

How do you explain yourself? Would a street vendor waste his money on the internet, would he even go to the internet? AM OUT. Your attitude towards the above listed groups of people attests to this fact. Come on people, I thought there were only adults on this site? Please stick to the topic at hand and take your egoistic fights else where. You are the people who make us believe that men never really mature. Grow up. Desire, I want this to be my last response to you and then we move on.

Forget my email address, its not neccessary. My advice to you is, and I repeat, dont take the literal meaning of words otherwise you will misinterprate what someone is trying to say. Have you heard of Idioms and irony speech.

I can speak ironically and say that the ground is so wet to mean that its so dry. When I said you are eeeevilll I was just trying to emphasise the point that you are too clever. Am sorry if this eluded you. Its only I expected that most people who have access to this blog could read thru the lines. The only people that dont family problems in this world are Indians and Villagers, The indian can marry his wife for over 40 years without cheating, I wish i was Indian.

Although I wouldnt want to be called Chi Mwenye. Sometimes I wonder where the pride and self-respect women had for them selves has gone to. You heard! The zambian national team that perished in gabon consisted of most players from the CB. Amnesia yatampa? Namufulungana na ma ba Desire. Born rich i dont just sit on the blog to make contributions. I dosent matter where iam but definately am not as stupid as you sound, just spending your entire day reading the blog.

I also dont go round looking for men. Iam not embarrassed to say i have a husband who does not satify me and a boyfriend who fills up the gap. If i was a prostitute i was going to hook any man i want. If your brother is dull in bed and i get the pleasures somewhere Im to blame? MBA I feel you. I would like to bring out something that maybe many of us have taken forgranted on this blog.

There are people who genuinely come to this blog seeking solutions to the problems that they are currently experiencing in their marriages or relationships. Naturally I find solace in people like MBA, Rose and Kasonde who will call a spade a spade and not a big spoon than those full of theories and pretence.

As for us meeting in person I would have reservations because I think doing so will spoil the fun. MBA I would like to meet you in person, give me your details. Your experience will help me write a book for others because I enjoy writing. I hate the word concur coz it does tell people what you are agreeing with. But in this situation i beg to use the word concur. I agree with Easy E i believe the blog should be used to express feelings and peopls should respect other peoples feeling and advice positively where neccesary.

Why should people attack MBA.

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What is so illicit about that relationship between two consenting adults with no blood ties whatsoever? Issues of incest or inbreeding do not apply here either, what other grounds are there for your advice? Let the young lady and her man marry as it is right in the sight of God. Let no man put them asunder!

Yours in Christ, Lube. Pastor: Thank you dear Christian for your contribution. More contributions are welcome. Dear pastor, Thanks for the work you are doing for us. Most of the ladies who want marriages are disappointing. They just want to have fun and are not serious about marriage.

Thank God now I have found one who is serious with me and accepted me the way I am. From now onwards I have stopped getting numbers because I am happy to have one. Thanks pastor. ANS: Thanks brother to hear from you that you have found one suitable helper Proverbs Develop and harness your relationship until you tie the knot. Dear pastor, I am a man aged 29 looking for a serious beautiful lady to marry. She must be in Lusaka with one or two children.

Or even without any children. Call I am in a serious position. If you have extra luggage children , make it clear from the onset. More answers in the next edition and ensure you get a copy every Sunday. Zambia Daily Mail. Web Editor. Tags couple Evangelist Katai. You may also like. About the author. Share This! Facebook Feed. Tweets by zadama The solution is divorce and with time you will be healed of the pain.

After divorce I have continued to support my 4 boys and thank God my first born is finishing secondary and my second born is in grade 9. Ladies if u feel me lets tell these men what they have been missing all these years. Noooooooo brothas u need to lift your game up coz its more than a woman pleasing u.

I dont care how big yo thing is…. Just what I said at Its not about the size of your manhood coz your ladies womanhood will adjust to any size. Its patience and skill and interest in satisfying your woman..

That way she will be yours forever. Marriage means more than sex. Sex is just a part of marriage. A marriage where there is no happiness,sex will also not be enjoyable. Therefore dont just rush into sex before examining how ur marriage has been. Nowonder why ifyupo tafilekokwela coz u chaps are marrying for wrong reasons. May you please read this attentively. A blood covenant is the strongest covenant God has ever created.

Thats why Jesus shed his blood for our salvation, redemption and deliverence. When a man erects, and a woman is ready for sex, its blood that flows to the penis and clitoris. Sex is a blood covenant, hence a strong covenant. Many demons are passed through sexual intercorse. I see that many people rather fear AIDS not knowing that the demons that are passed through sex corrupts your destiny and lead you poverty, AIDS, disease etc. You are not cleaver Bretheran do not be deceived, God can not be mocked.

See Continuatio. I am here in the States and i saw a man casted out a demon from Japan and china. The demons spoke chinese and japanese, yet this guy is Zambian. He thought he was cleaver to enjoy the Asians yet he had a good collection of demons from all over. Bretheren, cheating makes you misarable in your future. Stick to your wife, pray that everything will work out. You can even pray and fast for your marriage bed and see what happens when the Lord touches you….

Fear God and love your neighbour! I think sex is 1 in marriage coz u will leave with that person forever right? No skills required but a man needs to know all the contours of my body or aleast some. Muzambofela muvikwati no zuune! You are the ONE!!!!!! Until people realise the covenants that they make each time they sleep with someone, marriages will forever be miserable, men will always think sex is better somewhere else and PA LAST…destinys are collapsed. Sex results in joining of souls and you become one in the spirit and share the good, bad and ugly!

Many great men have altered their destinies because of spirits and demons they inherited. May the mercy of God open people to see beyond Mosi,shabeen and sharing the virus as if its about to go out of fashion. Know no man by the flesh. Its all about a good Shag. All problems dissapear after a good shag. Have you ever slept with a guy very quickly after meeting him, but as it started to happen you got that sinking feeling in your stomach?

You knew it was a mistake, but you did it anyway. And then the thing you KNEW would happen actually happened: He unexplainably disappeared from your life. Honestly, have you ever had this happen? Have you ever dated a great guy for a long time. But when you tried to bring up the topic o. But when you tried to bring up the topic of having a relationship and making a bigger commitment, his eyes just glazed over. But he never seemed to see these mistakes. And the worst part of all: You kept thinking about it.

Chances are you DID have something to do with it, and things probably WOULD have turned out differently if you would have known how to deal with the situation. I really dont get your point. I was expecting you to give a more detailed piece of advice. Ali one Zambia one nation…I tried to make sense in what u r trying to say and this is my 2 cents.

What do women want in a relationship? How do girls fall in love to men? Ba BZM, Are you kidding me? This is outrageous for an adult to make simple mistakes over and over in one sentence. In my search to find a woman. I would like to marry her. Now one thing that offends me alot is the smell from her vagina. One wonders what could be the cause of such a smell.

Is it dirty or disease? What should I do? Nowonder baice bandi ifyupo tafilekokwela. Dont miuse the word dating. As long as u are engaged in a sexual relaionship with a girl ninshi chupo and not dating. Dating should noot involve sex. Wait until u get married then u shall enjoy her.

But if u start sleeping with her before marriage then by the time u marry her u will startlooking for sex elsewhere. I thought her being a nurse by profession, could have already done that for herself. Sometimes I just think of quitting relationship. Good day. I thought u said u were an economist. Kwena umusebanya!!!!!!. Who knows maybe you are the one who even infected her with that problem.

There are certain infections that men give to women that do not manifest in a man but do in women. Be an honarable man and do the right thing. Also ask God to forgive your fornication regardless of whether the people advising you did it or not. It is still wrong and a sin to God. Take care. You KC , can you stop stalking me around LT. You seem to be attracted to my posts only. You do not know me to call me Mudala In anycase i will not engadge in an insult match with you.

Now what type of a disease that cant be cured. The last time I checked my HIV status was -ve. If she fails to appreciate your help then hard luck and in any case I think that dialogue and seeking medical attention is the only way forward becoz if not I do not see you living with that problem as it gets on your nerves. If all fails you may just have to say your painful goodbyes, but do your part. Advise that the Bible says no sex before marriage.

You need to advise and not insulting each other. What are the solutions to these problems we have at the moment. Change people you are adults!!!!!.. Trusting your partner maybe…. This is the third lady that have encountered with a similar odor. Its Afrkan musk. The only way to love it is to lick. I think we are going off track a little bit. The main point of this thread is to identify why people cheat and how to avoid or fix it. About the odor, am not sure which shops in zed carry anti-fungal creams, feminine wash etc.

The heat contributes too, panty liners are verrrry expensive. I am sure its a boy whose been sleeping with young girls who do not know how to clean themselves or he has been targeting prostitutes who have no time to clean themselves and jump from one man to the next. It is the stale semen from the previous clients that stinks. My dear Mary I beg to differ with you over the use of feminine was and the like unless you have an infection. Our parents never had those things and they did not stink.

Water is a remedy to so many things, the men who expect their ladies to have small vaginas are just failures becoz they do …. Why is it that we never force them to enlarge their manhoods. Men grow up and take responsibility. If some of your mothers had to see the kind of insults you subject them to, they would weep and curse the day you were born.

Margie thanks girl for those wise vibes walasa! However on the feminine wash…the traditional soap is ok though these days there are non harsh and natural intimate cleansing soaps which r alternative to traditional soap and water which remove odor causing bacteria. I agree with ya that our folks used water and soap but the world is changing just like we r blogging now to share ideas. To all those complaining of bad odor. Ever heard of Bacterial Vaginosis BV.

It is the disordering of the chemical and biological balance of the normal flora germs in the vagina. It is not an STI. Can also affect virgins. Symptoms are abnormal vaginal discharge especially after sex with a unpleasant fishy smell. Treatment is flagyl and other preparations mentioned above though it may reoccur. For more info check Wikipedia. I hope this helps. Ba clinician. What u mean treatment is Flagyl? What is the dosage?

Do u drink or insert it? And some of them are beautiful,educated and decent too! If you reading this and you are a lady,just make it a point not to fall into this bracket. No hard feelings ladies,just mind. Women need to have regular check ups i. I think our sister need to go to the Hospital and have her checked thouroghly. She could be having cervical cancer. So a pap smear may be helpful in this case,thats if they have tried antifungal and antibiotics.

Yeasts candiasis also occurs due to prolonged use of Pads. So women should ensure that Pads are changed regularly. Lusaka Times LT , where is my advice to 2 that I posted in the early hours of today? LT, I think you need to edit and fine tune your website so that contributions people make get posted without disappearing.

Remember that blog sites thrive on having dedicated visitors or bloggers like us. What r we doing about our men failing to satisfy us? I have one tip, men take tiiiiiiiiiime to kiss your woman not biting. Under a severance deal that Ted Haggard reached with the church in , he agreed to leave Colorado Springs and not talk about the scandal publicly.

The deal expired at the end of New pastor Brady Boyd said Haggard was now free to live where he wanted and has returned to Colorado Springs. He was fired in as pastor of the 14,member church he established, after a former male prostitute alleged they had a cash-for-sex relationship. The man also said he saw Haggard use methamphetamine. Haggard then moved to Phoenix with his family to begin what church leaders called a spiritual restoration program, which was expected to include counseling and prayer and last five years or longer.

Boyd said Haggard asked to released from the restoration program in January and is no longer connected with New Life. Haggard and church officials clashed last summer after Haggard sent an e-mail to a Colorado Springs television station outlining his plans to work as a counselor at a Christian-run halfway house in Phoenix.

The e-mail also solicited financial support. A four-pastor team of overseers said that those plans were unacceptable and that Haggard would seek secular employment instead. He said there were no plans for him to work again at New Life. The New Life Church was the site of a shooting in December in which two sisters were killed after a gunman fatally shot two people at a mission center in suburban Denver.

Thanks once more fellow zedians. It would be your semen that produces that bad odor not the four women you slept with — impossible! Though it was quite a sensitive issue. Br mititi came in aggressive but now he has come to his senses. I think what was lucking was information on our part as men and secretiveness on our female folk. Thanks as well to the clinician, laboratory scientist and somewhat Maria for shading more light.

I sit with my lady. Stay well. I have to tell you the truth my brothers and sisters in Christ. That is why i keep changing these women i could not with stand the strong smell. Maybe my newly dear will smell fresh…i have to pray for now….. Zambian men are failing to handle the fact that our women are cheating also!! Our women are now empowered,have great jobs,travel and have social lives outside of the yard!! This situation obtains in developed countries and that is why adultery is now so rife…in fact women in these countries are not looking to marriage for any sort of security and are doing rather well without it!

Cheating is a disease. I know of men and women who cheat and yet they have everything. It has nothing to do with what you are lacking. It has everything to do with what you believe. Yes,I need to satisfy my wife. In the competition between men and women there are no winners…everybody loses!! I do concur with both and Indeed the bible is clear and straight forward about results of infidelity.

The truth of the matter is that, those women who have joined the cheating business not to say it is right have done so in response to what their spouces have subjected them. It takes quite some doing to drive a woman into extra marital affairs.

A well looked after and appreciated woman will always stick to her man and honor him. Ladies, pls those of you who resorted to joining the menfolk in this demeaning business take some time to critically look at yourselves and think whether it is really worth it. My opinion is that in a relationship where the man is perpetually cheasing …. It is really devaluing oneself to go into such hedious activities. Men feel they have a right to have more than one woman and if you re married to such a one, its better to let go if all effort fails.

For men those who are in that category and they are the majority am afraid we only pray to God who created you to recreate in you human hearts. Lets all just go back to the basics. Broken Hearted…..! And if Today she admitted and asked for forgiveness Must he take her Back? Maybe after……. One Love and For Love we Live!!! Pardon, My grammer errors in my last comments…. Shizungu can be hard to write……. Its about time we challenged the status quo.. They have tried to change their hair styles, Cookiing habits, attended women conferences, blished their skills but still our fathers and their Husbands are not coming home.

God Come down with Deliverance. Men and Fathers homes need u. Let me give you good advice broken hearted. Its simple, that woman has flouted the rules of the game. Women are divorced on suspicion and u? U caught her red handed. I will be frank with you, its not easy to divorce someone you love especially that that this is one person you always thot u wud spend the rest of your life with.

Devorce her, it wont be easy yes. But sometimes we need to think with our heads and not hearts. It will take long to heal if at all it will heal but its the right thing to do. Divorce her with head not your heart. As for your wife am comming for her shortly…. You stupid, ungrateful, shameful, dim, thick, brainless witch. If only you knew what you have done to this man.

May your soul burn in hell. May you grow unripe grapes on your forehead. You are very lucky I have to go but am not finished with you am coming for you you promiscuous piece of flesh in a skirt mascaraing as a wife. Its good to last long becoz that way you satisfy your women which is what most men fail to do. But there is a limit to that too. If you go on for 2 hours you will only end up making your woman sore as she will have dried up. And for your own information, women are experts are faking it.

But why are you sleeping with so many women? AIDS hellow?? But its also a matter of what exactly you are doing during that time. Its not all about bumping and grinding bro! If you keep the intimacy going during that whole time, like touching, kissing etc, then you should be on the right track.

As for your current girlfriend, ask her to join a gym so she can up her stamina. And tell her shes lucky to have a man who can hold it for that long, most of us are wallowing in sex-poverty courtsey of one-minute husbands. Good luck. Man of the month, that makes the two of us. Am just as good. I dont use herbs neither and I call myself a natural. I fail to believe that there are men who can fail to satisfy a woman. Thats the easiest thing in the world.

By the way am circumcised. I am blessed with a titanic but unlike its for my woman only. I am blessed with a titanic but unlike you its for my woman only. Maybe what you can do is allow you girfriend to caress you longer before you start acting. That way you will not need to have direct contact as you move on youy journey to cloud 9. Try it.

If you still fail tonight hope your girfriend is around today. I give you more nints tomorrow. My advice to you is sit down and have a serious chat with your partner. Find some commonality of purpose and technique and you may find what you consider a problem is easily solved!

Very sad indeed. The same happened to me by then i was collage when my lover was busy dating someone. Iwas told of it by concerned guys but never beleived coz i loved her that much until such a time when i just caught her myself with this guy. Then we stopped seeing eachother till this year. Just take time girls are just the same every where.

Well, it interesting how men have lamented this quite isolated case of a woman being so unfaithful. My point is do you now realise what the majority o us women go thru when the majority of you men cheat on us??? Men stop and think what pain you have been causing to women. Now that it seems to be happening to men all hell has broken loose. It also hurts us when we are cheated, we just have big hearts. To those of you who have cheated your wives before and now you find yourselves being cheated..

Its sad that we have so many ignorant people regarding sexuality of the female. I Cannot live without that incredible scent and thats why i can have my cake and eat it too! Making love is a 2-way street and takes two to tango. You cannot just lie down there like a robot counting away the seconds and daydreaming about the boy next door nor can you,only 21, just lie there being inflicted a painful humping. Be active participants and make attempts to read on the topic and educate your partners to become lovers the way you desire to be made love to.

The rest will come naturally! I have noticed that when people talk about sex or be it love making from the point of view of satisfaction, the emphasis is on satisfying women. Do you women realize that in as much as you want to be satisfied, we also want the same satisfaction. I would like to believe that a situation where both are satisfied is the most sought after and I believe this is very simple to achieve if there is a lot of understanding and a consensus is reached between the two.

Problems begin if one couple begins to be greedy. I will tell that I once had a girlfriend whom I could take my time kissing, touching her and taking her slowly until she climaxes. But immediately she climaxes she is no longer interested. Now you ladies tell me why I should not be a 10 seconds man the next time I make love to her. After all a woman cannot compete with a man in as far as the record time to climax is concerned. So dont just mourn and lebel us all those names. We have a background.

Climaxing should be done at the same time or just a few minutes difference. Just like you as men, when you ejeculate you want to resolve and rest the same happens to a woman. Who ever told you that you have to let your woman climax and then start your journey. Your lady is perfectly right to behave the way she does.

Make sure as you drive her she also drives so you re at the same level. Do not justify the five seconds its wrong. In any case very few men get a raw deal as compared to women, your problem is self made. Namayo, either am an amateur or you live in a utopia where you always climax at the same time with your partner. Fact Climaxing at the same time is what every couple should aspire for YES and its the most ideal no doubt. Fact Climaxing at the same time is not easy and its not always achievable and thats why women on this blog can complain of 10 seconds men.

So what do you do if you climax earlier than your partner despite trying to climax at the same time? You dress up and try again next time?. Its possible to help your partner climax even if you are a 10 seconds man. Attend to her needs after your 10 seconds.

Is that calculus for you Namayo? You could be on the wrong blog. Try the Sport one. What did you want people to talk about on this blog? It is unfortunate that you feel I live in an utopian world or that it seems to be calculus to me. But I can assure you that it has nothing to do with calculus at all. It is about understanding your mate and your body. That should have been signal enough for you to realise that I know that climaxing does not necessarily occur at the same time.

You definately know when your partner is hieghtening on her way to climax …. I will be posting proffessional advice on how couples can enjoy sex together in so far as the art of Orgasm is concerned within the next 24 hours. Zedians new found freedom is to discuss SEX freely. With all the hustle and bustle going on around in the world, Zambians have just discovered that discussing sex is actually not a SIN.

Most of the office workers using company computers has enrolled themselves on sexsites looking for kinky sex. Married men and women are busy cheating on their spouses with easy lays from the net! Talk about what you want, how you want it and vice-versa. That way you work your way up to climax either together or just seconds apart.

So stick to one partner and learn to explore each other and over time your sex will get better and better. Namayo, you sound very knowledgeable and experienced. How can i get to learn something practical from you? Just reading your wisdom makes me know that there are still real women out there. Its an exciting feeling! Well thanx for the compliment but I am not quite sure what you mean by learning something practical from me. Would you pls elaborate.

Namayo, ordinarily Zed women are timid and unwilling to discuss sexual matters in an intelligent way. That is one of the biggest problems that leads to a lack of communication with partners and as such leading to loveless sex and then wonder why they cannot orgasm explosively. These people need to understand the value of openness and communication cos Orgasm begins in the mind and then manifests in the body.

I read in you a complete and exciting woman from whom i can learn a lot more. Thats what i mean. Must i go on? I still am not sure what you are saying??? How do you want to learn more practically other than thru this medium. You must surely go on. Well it takes some courage for one to discuss sex openly like this but we need to get above this especially when you re with your partner.

Too busy, too tired, too distracted,,too mad at him, too fat for sex etc. These complaints lead them to having trouble getting aroused and because of it compounds their Orgasming problems. How do you get to Orgasm if you have trouble getting arousal? Both men and women will encounter performance difficulties if their sex is interluded by anger, anxiety, depression, resentment, guilt, boredome or mere case of nerves.

To avoid these pitfalls you need to be present in the moment without any distractions. Thus to enjoy great sexyou both need tobe in atotal mental and physical immersionwhen yo conscious mind suspends all activity and yu enter a state of seeming timelessness not just not just during the few fleeting moments of orgasm but during the entire durationof a sexual encounter from the the first caress to the final embrace. Ok Namayo, i will go with your proposition that we need to get above this.

May be i have not been thinking too clearly and i apologise for anything that may have come across in an offensive manner. I hope to continue enjoying reading your your very insightful, enjoyable contributions. Also hope that other Zed ladies can be inspired to remove their inhibitive cultural shackles and learn to discern sexuality issues both here and with their better halves.

Good luck Namayo! Good luck to you too hopeful, Hope you will be a good man to your spouse. Life is a learning journey where graduation day is when we depart this earth. We shall continue discussing these issues as long as we pick some lessons from them. Thanx again for your compliments. Thanx for your views Namayo. I have learnt a thing at least. Now can this blog help me discuss this problem. What do you think causes men to cheat? I would like to believe there are reasons.

My view is I think all of us men start on a very faithful path but along the way something causes us to cheat. Let me own up with regret that I have cheated on my girlfriend before and unfortunately I was caught before long. It was catastrophic, I was beaten to a pulp by my girlfriend and she really was enraged and even thogh after six months we are back together it seems I have left a scar on her that will never completely heel coz once in a while she gets mad when she remembers the ordeal.

I support your concern about sex being a leading topic on contributions. Zedians, surely its not aways that you are dealing with sex. After all, we have more problems arising out of it. This is alarming. Discuss real issues affecting you. Congestion in Lusaka,Electricity blackouts,etc. However let me also mention that I strongly believe I was taught to cheat.

I made it clear to my gal friend that I was very cross with those messages which she labeled petty and just from persistent guys whom she had turned down. She would apologize but I would find other messages after some time. I feel my gal friend taught me to cheat because she claimed my concerns were petty. Believe me you women, sometimes you take us right onto the route to cheating. I have learnt it now and believe me its difficult giving up.

You must be a man. And a cheating husband for that matter. If not then you are not married…. Thats why you cant stand to hear the truth……. Cheating is a very serious issue….. Just like marriage….. Broken homes and families are ruining our society…..

Zambians typical of avoiding real issues. Sex talk is very important that is why ubucheende will never reduce. Look at Alpha, Ncez, Zenon and all the other laces where underage reside. In Africa there are 7 countries that top with HIV and there are in this order:- 1.

South Africa 2. Lesotho 3. Swaziland 5. Namibia 6. Zimbabwe 7. Guess what? Cross border dating, kulya kuma workshop muya, kuma business and other zedians leaving there and they come home once in awhile with new Nikes and hipsters. All you men complaining of a perculiar smell from your wives need some lessons in Anatomy and Physiology.

Not all smells are bad. Just because your Mbuyas told you that dry sex is perfect it does not make it right. If anything it leads to cancers. If you can learn something from animals e. Learn to accept the natural smell as being good. It does have an effect on your brain and can enhance your sexual appetite. Now a natural smell is ok but a foul smell needs to be investigated. It was never meant to be squeaky clean. A study shows that it is only Zambian men who prefer dry painful sex.

Women go to lengths to satisfy them only to suffer the consequences themselves. People need to accept nature and not mask everything. Personally I am obsessed with designer perfumes and can never go out without it. You are also interested otherwise you wouldnt be following this thread. Iam certain that someone has learnt a thing or two from this discussion….

Easy E, it is unfrtunate that such should be happening in your relationship. But the truth is every woman has lots of admirers some of which can really be a thorn in the flesh. However if your lady was commited to your relationship she should have tried to to put a stop to some of those offensive sms. That said, I feel you are also wrong to resort to cheating coz two wrongs will never make a right.

I also feel that you probably opted to cheat coz it was always at the back of your mind to try and have a feel of it. It is not easy to learn a thing like cheating if you really detest it. Next time find a better solution. When God judges this world there will be no finger pointing to say such…. You should have opted to be the bigger person in your relationship and your lady would have learnt a thing or two. Now the way things are, you have just given her reason to justify her dubious ways.

Men cheat because they think its okay to do so and society seems to have endorsed this. I think lack of serious commitment is the main problem. Easy E , you owned up which I think was good but came back blaming your girlfriend, thats so typical of men.

Take full responsibility for your actions. When a man fully satisfies a woman, he frees her from harbouring negative feelings such as frustration and anger. Men should consider what it would be like to make love without ever being fully pleased or climaxing.

When he fulfills her,her passion will be realeased and she will be naturally motivated to fulfill him. Ultimately both the man and woman benefit from increased for each other as they both enjoy satisfaction. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I was a little playfull growing up but thank God the Aids was as rampant. By the time Aids was all over God had already gotten hold of me and so I got married to a virgin after Gods own heart.

I have a wonderful wife and 2 kids now and I can gladly say no extra marital affair for me. God is Good mwe Bantu. Is that it? MEN its all there for you in your marriage and in your wife!!!!!!!!!!! Get it straight in your head. There only 1 WAY!

Pat and Mildred, I agree with you but only up to so much. I have a friend of mine who has a very beautiful, faithful and committed wife but he cheats on her anyway. So am under no illusions to think that there are no men out there who cheat just for fun. There are there and its a lot of them. But in my situation I still think I was taught to cheat.

I came to a point where I thought why should I be the one to always complain. Why should someone who loves me promise they will never repeat a wrong and yet they do it once more. I remember complaining more than four times. The biggest tragedy is that she changed and decided to be faithful at a time I had already started cheating on her.

What am trying to do is to bring out the reasons why we men cheat be them justifiable or not. I will also tell you that its not easy giving up cheating if you are not a natural player. Because you feel for the other woman. She is human and has…. Come on now Easy E. If you cannot trust your girlfriend let her go and stick to one you can trust.

The longer you stay in a relationship the more you get attached. Are you then planning to marry them both or you have no intention of ever commiting yourself into marriage? Be man enough and show some leadership. I know it is hard to let go but it is also impossible to love two women the same way at the same time. So search your heart and see what you really want. Ok, Namayo, I hear you. You will be happy to learn that am actually working on it though I must repeat, its not easy. Let me contribute to the issue of foul smells that is alleged to come from a woman as put across by some male folk on this blog.

I have noticed that ladies have reacted sharply to this. I for one cant imagine making love to a dry woman. Its actually an issue of hygiene for me. I stand to be corrected. That is Sad 2, That is very Sad. We are here breaking our backs, making sure they are fine and this is all we get? Hey men, just go ahead and kick that fool aout of your life. There is certainly no excuse for that. Its a shame that she could go to such an extent of bring the boyfriend in the house were the children and maid lived.

Are both families aware of this shameful conduct? Really am dissapointed that women are losing morals globally, women lets stand up and fight this, we can make it and it begins with you. Sally No. I feel ladies should be restricted to Kitchens. That way the will be very submissive. At last those ladies of older generation were not like them. So you ladies between the ages of 21 to Dont complain most of you dont even love you husbands but like thier money. Yaba, what money, we are independent my dear and in some cases earn a lot more than the men.

It is unfortunate that you will never send us back to the kitchen to be trampled on by pipo such as yourself and no Islamic law will ever work in Zambia, sorry. Adjust your thinking or you will be redandant in this age. Mutual respect is what matters not slave master situ. Mind you ,a change can still be made. All what is required is a deliberate government policies.

If the governement decides to equal the cutting point for a girl child and boy child,after 10 years the will be fewer ladies like you Mimi who feel they highly paid. Even for you to be what you are,its just that 10 or 20 years ago, govt had a deliberate policy to encourage girls to be educated.

Otherwise even biologically a lady is reciever from man. A lady is a weaker and relatively dull. I am sorry for you. It seems you cannot accept facts. There are as many highly gifted women as there are men. Your thinking has been so corrupted by the society you live in. God created us equal and only varied our roles not intellectual ability.

It is the environment you grow in that determines whether your full potential will be realised or not. Keep brooding and too bad that you mum, wife, sisters and daughter are dull because those are your closest case studies. Being highly paid is no feeling but reality.

Women cheat exactly for the same reasons!! Interestingly, the reason why that number is low for females is because do you know islam and other religions beliefs of keeping women down? Recently females have gotten educated, have better jobs, well exposed to social freedoms.. Cheating is about how free you are! The more freer people feel the more they cheat. So: cheating does not belong to the less confident, less money, no leadership qualities, and those with plenty of religion.

I have chilled now as I had fun back in the day, so all the places I mentioned above…been there and done all the 9 nine yards…decent NO! That is why ukwaangala before is better than later. Mimi, dont be consumed by the ignorance being displayed by Yenom Saedi.

Clue; he belittles his own islamic women and thinks thats a great thing1 hell nooo. Be real and face facts. Maybe you are just teenagers who are yet to experience married life. Broken hearted , I was once in the similar situation , moved to Montreal Canada to study my Medical Degree , my wife was busy with another guy in Bulawayo , Zimbabwe trust me I did not think twice I left her.

Khumalo, why did you marry your second wife if you do not trust her. That just shows that you married for sex a completely wrong reason. I wonder what you mean by being happily married while each time you move out you think the garden boy is feasting on her. To some extent I agree with Yenom Saedi not that am a male chauvinist no but to some extent I think Zambian women are losing the plot.

I thought a wedding is when the priest pronounces the couple husband and wife and the rest of all that activity is just supposed to be icing on the cake. But today emphasis is on the icing. I have a friend of mine who was charged ZMK 11m for dowry. Come one people thats money laundering.

Comments from ladies folk. Who charged your friend? Your question would have soicited better answers had you directed it to your fellow men coz you are the people who do the charging or have things changed in the one yr that I have been out??? Please let God speak or probably he spoke to both of you before marrying each other, am sure if only you can pray for seven days to the Omnipotency God will give you the direction where to go.

My brother the bible says ask it shall be given unto you, seek you shall be found and knock it shall be opened for you. Why i have said pray for seven days for directions, is because God has said so. Seven is divine….

I will remember you in my prayers….. God bless you my brother. I thought women were invaluable. Why do you always want to blame women for all the bad things even those done by men. Anyway maybe in you tradition since Zambia is made up of many ethnic groups. Khumalo Whats wrong with you man? Do you carry some kind of disease you dont want to infect her with? With your wife sex is meant to be as it should, plain and sweet.

Does she not complain? Do you have spontaneous sex. Take care of the farm before others take care of it for you Mr Khumalo!

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Zambian Gym Trainer Beaten For Sleeping With Marriage Woman [2018]

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