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This proverbial king of the jungle can have very high standards and may be only interested in socializing with those who meet his specific standards. Dating or marrying an alpha male means your social circle may gradually become smaller over time as not many can meet the alpha males demanding high standards.
Needless to say, alpha males are often loners when it comes to maintaining close friendships. When you mix two alpha males in the same group, it can be a recipe for chaos. The whole point of being an alpha is to be the leader of the pack. Alpha males are not historically fond of sharing that title, either. When you get two alpha males together, it can often turn into a competition where each of them is competing for the group's attention.
They may also butt heads quite often in group conversations where other males have a say. Some alpha males have no problem hanging out with others. If your partner is secure in himself and your relationship's stability, he may not display any of these behaviors at all.
The important thing to note is that these traits can be present or absent depending on the male and the circumstances. When people who are considered alpha males display negative tendencies, this is usually an issue with their perception of how they view the world and how they "think" the world views them. Alpha males are not always as confident as they appear. There may be unexpressed issues, needs, or desires that drive them to their perpetually narcissistic behaviors in relationships if left unchecked.
Now that we have some ideas of how alpha males operate -- let's look at more of the factors that drive their behavior. The appearance of being confident is one of the most prevalent and easily observable personality traits of the alpha male archetype. The fact that alpha males normally exude confidence and security is one of the many factors that makes them so attractive. People interested in pursuing, marrying, or dating an alpha male may find this man sexy as he seems to know exactly what he wants -- and isn't afraid to go after it.
The illusion of control in an alpha male's life can be very enticing, as well -- who hasn't dreamed of dating a world leader, superstar, or handsome celebrity? Whether they've actually achieved these stats in life -- an alpha male appears to be so confident that he can make you feel like a million bucks -- regardless of his actual occupation.
On the flip side, no matter how confident your alpha male is -- secretly, he needs lots of love and support. Many alpha males stand strong and unwavering because of the support they have behind them. No matter how macho he may present himself to be, an alpha male has emotions just like anyone else.
He may be in favor of hiding those emotions more than others, but they are still there. An alpha male needs love and support just as much as any other person you know or have dated before. You may need to pay special care to your alpha partner in some situations to keep them reassured, motivated, and focused on their goals.
An alpha male without a job to do, for example, is susceptible to having bouts of depression or anxiety when he doesn't have the proper support. Keep in mind that when the worst traits of the alpha male personality are likely to rear their ugly heads, it is in these downtimes. Now that we've discussed the alpha male's positive and negative traits, you may feel like you or your man need to speak to a professional to help keep your dating or married relationship on track.
Dating an alpha male can be rewarding as this is usually a take-charge kind of man who knows what he wants out of life and isn't afraid to get it. The downside of having a strong and sometimes domineering personality -- is that you may very easily step on other people's boundaries -- without even realizing it.
This is especially true in cases where alpha males' interactions have become verbally or physically abusive. There is a big difference between "being in control" of yourself and needing to control someone else. If you're in a relationship with an alpha male or any other dating or married relationship that has become physically or verbally abusive, get help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is a hour resource with a staff of trained professionals to support you.
An important factor to consider is that the personality traits, habits, and behaviors listed here that describe the alpha male archetype can also apply to many other people. When choosing a mate, it is important to note positive behaviors, negative behaviors, dealbreakers, and red flags -- before committing to a long-term relationship. Open and honest communication between partners will help them learn more about each other and deal with the idiosyncrasies and personality flaws that we all have when they inevitably come up.
In other words, no one's perfect. If you're dating or married to an alpha male and you have questions or concerns about issues in your relationship, the counselors on the RegainUS therapy platform are licensed board-certified professionals that can help. The RegainUS online platform has been voted the number one therapy app for couples. It offers you and your partner the opportunity to connect with thousands of licensed therapy professionals with over hours of clinical experience helping people and couples like you.
Want to learn more about the alpha male or other dating personality archetype? Contact a ReGain. An incisive study shows that alpha males are individuals with domineering characteristics, highly valued, vigorous and energetic. An alpha male is someone people naturally respect and follow, and in most cases, they are the most sought-after men in terms of professionalism and are perceived by most ladies as the ideal man. When dating an alpha male , be prepared to be more submissive to avoid awkward arguments in public about where to eat or what to do; you might as well go along with what they want because they are naturally the type of guys that will not ask what you want.
So, they require very good listeners, who show a lot of enthusiasm in their views everything. When dating an alpha male, you have to be good at listening, observing them, and supporting them on all the things they are talking about. In other words, they are watching to see if you can be their cheerleader. This means you may have to sacrifice temporarily at least some of your own ideas; you may have to move, you may have to change careers, change jobs to suit and accommodate him.
They are seen as a dominant male who will go through any length to protect their pack family. Every alpha man desires their lady to be:. He likes to take charge of his relationship, such as taking you out, courting you properly, looking for the restaurant, picking you up, and many more.
He desires to keep you as inspired as he is about his goals; he understands what value it brings to both of your lives. They tend to be very possessive and desire the attention and loyalty of their pack. And if they sense in any way that your attention has been shifted to someone else, they feel threatened and become really angry and jealous.
So, dating an alpha male warrants you being cautious of your dealings with people, especially of the opposite sex. Yes and no. Like all males, alpha males can be faithful, but it all depends on the woman's part. A woman who is with an alpha male has to enjoy being his woman. He enjoys the game of tennis but avoids highly competitive situations. Across four studies, the researchers found that the dominance scenarios were considered more sexually attractive, although dominant John was regarded as less likeable and not desired as a spouse.
Taken at face value, this study seems to support the sexual attractiveness of the dominant alpha male over the submissive beta male. In a follow up study, the researchers isolated various adjectives to pinpoint which descriptors were actually considered sexually attractive.
There seemed to be more to the story than just mere dominance vs. Enter a study by Jerry Burger and Mica Cosby. The researchers had female undergraduates read the same descriptions of John the tennis player dominant vs. Consistent with the prior study, women found dominant John more sexually appealing than submissive John.
However, the John depicted in the control condition had the highest ratings of sexiness of them all! Next, the researchers fiddled with the descriptors of John. Read Jeremy Adam Smith's sex tips for guys.
Explore how power can hurt romance. How to build empathy in your relationship. Learn how our bodies support love and kindness with another person. Discover six ways to boost your kindness. Scott Barry Kaufman explores if kindness can make you physically attractive. The researchers then asked women to indicate which of the adjectives used to describe John were ideal for a date as well as for a long-term romantic partner. For the rest of the dominant adjectives, the two big winners were confident 72 percent sought this trait for an ideal date; 74 percent sought this trait for an ideal romantic partner and assertive 48 percent sought this trait for an ideal date; 36 percent sought this trait for an ideal romantic partner.
Not one woman wanted a demanding male, and only 12 percent wanted an aggressive person for a date and romantic partner. In terms of the nondominant adjectives, the big winners were easygoing 68 percent sought this trait for an ideal date; 64 percent sought this trait for an ideal romantic partner and sensitive 76 percent sought this trait for an ideal date and ideal romantic partner.
Not one woman wanted a submissive male for either a date or romance. Other low-ranked nondominant adjectives were shy 2 percent for dating; zero for romantic and quiet 4 percent for ideal; 2 for romantic. This analysis was revealing because it suggests that dominance can take many forms.
The dominant male who is demanding, violent, and self-centered is not considered attractive to most women, whereas the dominant male who is assertive and confident is considered attractive. Their results also suggest that sensitivity and assertiveness are not opposites. In fact, further research suggests that the combination of kindness and assertiveness might just be the most attractive pairing.
In other words, dominance only increased sexual attraction when the person was already high in agreeableness and altruism. Along similar lines, Jeffrey Snyder and colleagues reported that dominance was only attractive to females for both a short-term affair and a long-term relationship in the context of male-male competitions. Tellingly, women did not find men attractive who used aggressive dominance force or threat of force while competing for leadership in informal decision making among peers.
This suggests that women are attuned to cues that indicate that the male might direct his aggression toward her, with dominance toward competitors considered more attractive than dominance toward friends or coalition members. Distinguishing between the different shades of dominance, and how they interact with kindness, is not just important for understanding sexual attraction among humans.
It also has deep implications for the evolution of social status. In our species, the attainment of social status, and the mating benefits that come along with it, can be accomplished through compassion and cooperation just as much if not more so as through aggression and intimidation. Scholars across ethnography, ethology, sociology, and sociolinguistics believe that at least two routes to social status— dominance and prestige — arose in evolutionary history at different times and for different purposes.
The dominance route is paved with intimidation, threats, and coercion, and is fueled by hubristic pride. Hubristic pride is associated with arrogance, conceit, anti-social behaviors, unstable relationships, low levels of conscientiousness and high levels of disagreeableness, neuroticism, narcissism, and poor mental health outcomes. Hubristic pride, along with its associated feelings of superiority and arrogance, facilitates dominance by motivating behaviors such as aggression, hostility, and manipulation.
In contrast, prestige is paved with the emotional rush of accomplishment, confidence, and success, and is fueled by authentic pride. Authentic pride is associated with pro-social and achievement-oriented behaviors, agreeableness, conscientiousness, satisfying interpersonal relationships, and positive mental health. Critically, authentic pride is associated with genuine self-esteem considering yourself a person of value, not considering yourself superior to others.
Authentic pride, along with its associated feelings of confidence and accomplishment, facilitates behaviors that are associated with attaining prestige. People who are confident, agreeable, hard-working, energetic, kind, empathic, nondogmatic, and high in genuine self-esteem inspire others and cause others to want to emulate them. In this society, dominance as ranked by peers was positively related to physical size, whereas peer-ranked prestige was positively associated with hunting ability, generosity, and number of allies.
Interestingly, while advocates for acting dominant often point to chimps as proof of the exclusivity of this route to male status, recent research has shown that even among primates , alpha male status can be achieved not only through size and strength but through adept sociability and the grooming of others as well.
You can be an alpha amongst one group, and a beta in another. In the context of a harsh, dangerous environment, the dominant male is valued because he can get what he wants, and provide resources to those who will submit to and follow him. But outside of pure barbarian society i.
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