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I was never into the dating scene that much, but I always enjoyed meeting new people. Just like my millennial peers, I mostly meet people online through dating apps. In some of the apps, you can also say if your viral load is undetectable or if you are on PrEP, which I think is an amazing feature to promote biomedical interventions and reduce the stigma around HIV.

At first, I was nervous to do it, but I was in a different environment far from home. Yes, now and then, someone would write to me without reading my profile, and when I mentioned my status in the chat, they would stop talking or react with hostility. Some also said how brave I was to put my status out there so openly.

This is how it should be, considering how far we have come with scientific developments. Those who displayed their positive status were rare and they were usually empty profiles. So I guess putting my status on my profile was brave in this context. After this, some people I was talking to stopped responding. Some people messaged me, thinking I had made a mistake, trying to be helpful and asking me to correct my status.

This happened for a couple of days. It started getting too much and all my conversations ended up discussing HIV, which I was doing enough of in my daily life, and so I removed it. I usually get a good idea of their knowledge and awareness before I tell them about my status. Now and then, if the guy I am talking to makes a remark or says something that can be discriminatory, I correct them, and then it can get a bit awkward.

I think that disclosing your HIV status is a very personal decision. If you want to disclose your status, do it when it feels right to you and when you feel comfortable. Otherwise, it can happen in a moment that you least expect and make things awkward and uncomfortable for you. And yes, this comes from experience :. Dating is part of our everyday life.

As young people, we are all looking for love. In my work with young people living with HIV, I see that most of our concerns are around how we disclose and at what point we disclose. Coming from an African region, we have a different way of dating. We say that dating is the fun part, where we are not serious about getting married. Then we get into courtship and then we finally get married. Then the person you have been dating might start going behind your back and telling everyone that you are living with HIV.

Otherwise, surely we can have unprotected sex. Disclosure of HIV status is not easy, and unless our society changes, it will keep on being difficult. So it is not just about two young people being together; it is also about what the family says, what colleagues say and what society says.

For young people living with HIV, general life is also more complex. Imagine going out with your partner with whom you have not yet disclosed your status and then you need to take your medication. You are sitting at the dinner table and you want to take your medication, but how could you do that without telling them what it is? You need to plan your life more: to always make sure that you have water so you can take your medication. And you cannot get drunk because then you may forget and you will miss a dose for a day.

Living with HIV is not easy, worse still not finding love when you need it. We need a world free of stigma and discrimination that can enable young people to enjoy and explore their sexuality regardless of HIV status. Young people are the leaders of today. We have the potential to be trailblazers when it comes to HIV prevention and ending stigma and discrimination — if you ignite the passion of just one young person, they can light up the whole forest.

This can start with taking control of how we navigate our dating lives and choosing when and how we disclose our HIV status. I was diagnosed with HIV when I was He might, or might not, live across the country. He might, or might not, use a dating site, a dating company, have, or not have, a personal ad somewhere. Try to stay open. There are no support groups, no social activities with other positive people out here; there are no retreats that those of us who are low-income can afford. We as gay folk ignore our possible candidates for dating in this group.

Sites like POZ Personals and options on dating apps have made it much easier to let an interested suitor know you status by reading your profile. Many, many guys know nothing about HIV and fear positive individuals as one would fear someone who had contracted the Ebola virus. No matter how hot that guy looks, avoid an awkward, embarrassing or even violent situation by laying all your cards on the table at the appropriate time.

The appropriate time is soon after meeting. Since then, I have not had so much as a second date with someone. Always the same result: They move on, and I need to find the strength to start looking again. Yet after 15 years, little hope remains of not dying alone—my greatest fear. Ironically, I have never had any medical issues. Just when others hear those three letters they make a fast exit.

Yes, he had alcohol; yes, there is a history of anger management incidents. What is online is true —this condition does not improve, and the perpetrator of the violence never owns or acknowledges it. Learn more about the other person. Gradually, the wall comes down, and each of you relaxes, letting your real self peek out. Allow time for that to happen. You have been inactive for 60 minutes and will be logged out in.

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By continuing to browse the site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. OK More info. I am a: Male Female. Looking for: Male Female. Birthday: day 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 month January February March April May June July August September October November December year Email remains confidential.

Prove you're human. Don't see the text in the image? Click here to generate new text. I would like to get special offers by email to improve my chances to find best matches. I agree to the processing of my information as stated in Privacy Policy. I also agree to receive flirts, messages, account updates and special offers via email. Step 1: What are You Looking for. My age is :. It sounds like you've had to process a lot of information in the past few days.

I will keep you and your baby in my prayers. I'm sure your medical team has already started helping you find appropriate pre-natal care; ask them to refer you to a clinic in your area that specializes in 'high-risk pregnancies' don't let that term scare you; it just means they know how to handle pregnancies that fall outside of the norm. You will find caring, supportive people, and they can assess your own situation and what options are best for you and the baby.

If you having read it yet, check out the article I wrote on HIV and pregnancy it discusses whether there's a risk of miscarriage, but it has some good, basic information and links about being pregnant when you have HIV. Please let me know how things go for you? I'm sending you prayers and hugs. The story of the couple in the three videos is so heartwarming - I know the path ahead will be challenging at times, but it's wonderful to see some ways to manage the health condition as well as risks to partners.

Best of luck to you, and my prayers are with you! Thank you for the information. I now know that my decision to continue with the relationship really is worth it. Special note to 'Joy,' - thanks for reading and commenting. I admire your journey. Unfortunately, site guidelines do not permit us to approve comments that are promotional and include links such as you've added to yours. Thanks for understanding. Hi, Misty - I appreciate your comment here - I feel the same way.

Interestingly, the poll results on this hub show that many people are open to dating someone with this condition. Once they understand it is manageable, and that you can have a future and a family, people begin to feel differently. Thanks, Scott - HIV is definitely a manageable condition in our era, thankfully. I just hope we soon see the day where it is not considered an evil thing to have, and people are not ostracized because of it.

Thanks so much for your kind feedback, Steg! It means a lot to me when someone not familiar with the condition feels they've learned from the hub! This is an awesome Hub. Honestly, I don't have HIV nor do I know anyone that does to my knowledge but this article fascinated me all the same.

Hi, Vicky - thanks for reading and commenting. Every year, there's more and more progress in helping people live normal lives with this condition. Thank you so much, Kimberly; I appreciate your kind words! It's heartwarming to know how learning about the facts makes a difference in the way people feel about this condition. Very interesting hub! It contains great information that I had never thought about before.

Voted up! Hi, Iguidenetwork - thank you for reading and for your kind comments. I agree - everyone deserves love, and it speaks well of those who are able to accept others who live with challenges and share their life with them. Many thanks, NornsMercy, for your thoughtful comments here. I truly hope the stigma over HIV fades in coming years and people realize it can affect anyone.

Great hub.. Yes, persons afflicted with HIV also deserve love not just from a lot of people Thanks for sharing. Voted up and awesome. I don't think it would be appropriate to bash such a wonderful and informative hub. People look down on those with HIV but tons of people have unsafe sex everyday--they're just dodging bullets while others have been hit.

Thank you, Sharyn! I'm so gratified by the positive comments here - I confess I worried about bashing, but the overwhelming supportive attitudes here have been heartening. I strongly believe this is one of many topics that people need to understand and, I hope, learn not to judge. Thanks for your sweet comments! It is extremely well researched and professional. Your voice here will no doubt help so many people understand the truth about HIV and diminish many of the unnecessary fears.

Hi, Nare - I appreciate your comments. Wouldn't it be great if people opened their hearts and minds to learn more about this subject? Great job Marcy. This is really really informative. I had learnt much about HIV before too and I am glad you reminded. Many people will find this useful and even change their opinions. Hi, jasmith - thanks so much for your kind comments. I agree; we need an informed world that will allow everyone to have a fulfilling life.

Thanks for stopping by! Very informative hub - it is good to put the facts out there for people to raise awareness and understanding. Hi, Prasetio - you make a good point about people avoiding what they don't understand. Thanks for reading and commenting here. Very informative hub. I know that most of people will avoid with someone who infected with HIV, moreover dating with them. We should give them support. I learn many things here, including the video.

Rated up and useful! Thanks for reading and commenting, J. Matthew - your comment reminds me of one of the saddest patients I saw while working at the clinic. A beautiful, young year-old girl had discovered she was infected through a boyfriend. I hope she was able to find a partner who understood her condition and accepted her for the beautiful young woman she was. Hi, Nell - thanks so much for commenting here. I agree, this disease and its related issues were on the front burner only a few years ago, and sadly, many young people think it is no longer a concern.

Many thanks for sharing! This is very well researched and written Marcy! It's weird because yesterday I was watching a documentary about a young girl who became infected with HIV after shooting just one adult movie. She found out 2 days after the shooting that one of the cast members was infected. A few weeks later she tested positive. Great of you to post such valuable information that can be helpful for people.

Voted up and shared! Hi, Marcy, a very well documented information hub about this sometimes forgotten disease. It's a fact that many people these days totally forget about it, we had some really good information videos back in the s, but these days it seems to have been put on the back burner so to speak, great information and something that everybody should read, especially young people, voted and shared, nell.

Many thanks, Kittyjj - I so appreciate your comments! It can help prevent disease, and also help mitigate the stigma that still comes with that diagnosis. Thanks so much for sharing this information! Your hub is very informative. I love the way you used subtitles throughout your hub.

Voted up and useful. Hi, alocsin - thanks for sharing your insight. I've known couples as well, and they've learned to adapt well and are able to enjoy happy relationships. Many thanks for your comments! It's fairly easy to avoid HIV transmission if you take some common-sense precautions. I know couples that have been in relationships for years where one is HIV-positive and the other is negative.

A good hub for those in the dating scene. Voting this Up and Useful. Many thanks, homesteadbound - it is an emotional topic for so many people. I appreciate your kind comments! This was an interesting and well researched article. You did so well at staying very well grounded on such a sensitive subject!

Thanks, Jenubouka - I agree with you; I hope for a cure, too - and it is wonderful to see how far progress has come since this first came to our attention. I appreciate your comments! You have done a well-informed and sensitive article on this subject.

No doubt there are many who can understand and appreciate the importance of being knowledgeable and proactive in these cases. Great hub Marcy. It is a reality these days and we can not be ignorant about it, nor cease our lives.

I think this carries great hope and truths on the matter. I still hope for a true cure for this. I believe it is out there. I can't really add anything to what Doc said. I've never been in this situation, but your hub has definitely given me some points to ponder. I think some of them still wear those things, adjkp! I can see why they need protection during some procedures, I guess.

I'm glad we don't have the terror of those years, but I do think some people have become more complacent than it's appropriate to be at this point. Thanks for your comments! I remember how scary HIV was when I was growing up. I even had a dentist that wore a huge plastic shield during extractions in case blood would splatter, his words. No wonder I wouldn't open my mouth when I was eight.

Thanks so much, TahoeDoc - and oh gosh, I remember those days; I'd forgotten the stories about bleach.

DATING PARKER PENS

This International Youth Day, three young people from three different countries share their personal experiences of living with HIV and navigating online dating. I was never into the dating scene that much, but I always enjoyed meeting new people. Just like my millennial peers, I mostly meet people online through dating apps. In some of the apps, you can also say if your viral load is undetectable or if you are on PrEP, which I think is an amazing feature to promote biomedical interventions and reduce the stigma around HIV.

At first, I was nervous to do it, but I was in a different environment far from home. Yes, now and then, someone would write to me without reading my profile, and when I mentioned my status in the chat, they would stop talking or react with hostility. Some also said how brave I was to put my status out there so openly. This is how it should be, considering how far we have come with scientific developments. Those who displayed their positive status were rare and they were usually empty profiles.

So I guess putting my status on my profile was brave in this context. After this, some people I was talking to stopped responding. Some people messaged me, thinking I had made a mistake, trying to be helpful and asking me to correct my status. This happened for a couple of days. It started getting too much and all my conversations ended up discussing HIV, which I was doing enough of in my daily life, and so I removed it. I usually get a good idea of their knowledge and awareness before I tell them about my status.

Now and then, if the guy I am talking to makes a remark or says something that can be discriminatory, I correct them, and then it can get a bit awkward. I think that disclosing your HIV status is a very personal decision. If you want to disclose your status, do it when it feels right to you and when you feel comfortable. Otherwise, it can happen in a moment that you least expect and make things awkward and uncomfortable for you.

And yes, this comes from experience :. Dating is part of our everyday life. As young people, we are all looking for love. In my work with young people living with HIV, I see that most of our concerns are around how we disclose and at what point we disclose. Coming from an African region, we have a different way of dating. We say that dating is the fun part, where we are not serious about getting married.

Then we get into courtship and then we finally get married. Then the person you have been dating might start going behind your back and telling everyone that you are living with HIV. Otherwise, surely we can have unprotected sex.

Disclosure of HIV status is not easy, and unless our society changes, it will keep on being difficult. So it is not just about two young people being together; it is also about what the family says, what colleagues say and what society says. For young people living with HIV, general life is also more complex. Imagine going out with your partner with whom you have not yet disclosed your status and then you need to take your medication.

You are sitting at the dinner table and you want to take your medication, but how could you do that without telling them what it is? You need to plan your life more: to always make sure that you have water so you can take your medication. And you cannot get drunk because then you may forget and you will miss a dose for a day.

Living with HIV is not easy, worse still not finding love when you need it. We need a world free of stigma and discrimination that can enable young people to enjoy and explore their sexuality regardless of HIV status.

Young people are the leaders of today. We have the potential to be trailblazers when it comes to HIV prevention and ending stigma and discrimination — if you ignite the passion of just one young person, they can light up the whole forest. This can start with taking control of how we navigate our dating lives and choosing when and how we disclose our HIV status. Plus side: No need to disclose to every date; more privacy Minus side: Potential "why didn't you tell me before?

Not really — it is a personal choice. Tell Before Sex You may wish to wait to disclose your status until after a sexual encounter for fear of rejection or embarrassment. There are several reasons why it may be safer for you NOT to do this: Even if you practice safer sex -- including having an undetectable viral load which makes transmission to your partners impossible -- and even if your partner does not acquire HIV from this contact, there are laws in many states and countries that unfairly punish people with HIV for engaging in sex without disclosing.

If you have sex without condoms or other barriers, you are in danger, too. Some people lose their trust in sexual partners who hide important information. How would you feel if a date waited until after the two of you had sex to mention that he or she was married?

You may increase the chances that your partner will react with anger or violence HIV Dating Tips Consider having "the talk" well before you find yourself in a sexual situation Tell the other person when you are both sober Read up on HIV, safer sex , treatment as prevention , and HIV transmission. It will make it easier for you to talk about living with HIV. If you date a person living with HIV, do not spend so much time caring for him or her that you do not care for yourself If you are concerned about a really negative or possibly violent reaction, consider disclosing in a public place or with a friend present Get advice from those who have done this before.

Attend a support group for women living with HIV and ask others how they handle disclosure and dating. Be prepared for rejection. It is important to remember that dating is a process of finding the right person for you. Whether or not you are living with HIV, dating almost always includes some rejection and almost everyone has some trial runs before finding that special person!

Like like 0. Select the links below for additional material related to dating and HIV. Healthier Relationships Be-Resilient. Become a Member Join our community and become a member to find support and connect to other women living with HIV. Activity Popular Groups.

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Newly diagnosed with HIV and not sure what to do? You are not alone.

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