As writer Audrea Lim pointed out in a recent New York Times opinion piece , figures from Richard Spencer to Andrew Anglin , the founder of the neo-Nazi website The Daily Stormer , have touted their Asian girlfriends or partners at one point or another. Many Asians have dark skin. In the U. Traditional Chinese cultural and filial values played a part in this, but so did fear of racism.
As xenophobic immigration laws like the Chinese Exclusion Act of were being passed, many Chinese men feared bringing their wives abroad given the racial violence they were subjected to. The only women who did make it across? Early Hollywood movies did the rest of the work.
Asian women in s films most notably the American-born Anna May Wong were depicted as exotic femme fatales, weaponizing their sexuality to the detriment of the men around them. Asian men, meanwhile, were cast as scheming, effete villains in silk tunics, intent on bringing down the strong, capable white protagonists. When the U. Obviously, genuine love matches do happen between Asian women and non-Asian men, from the GIs who brought home Korean war brides in the s to couples meeting on Hinge and other dating apps today.
Jeng is happily partnered now, but in her single days, she and her friends developed a funny, fast-and-loose litmus test for Asian fetishes. Operating from a scarcity mindset , the harassers expect women of Asian descent to date exclusively within their race, and they attack those who marry outside and raise multiracial families.
It is argued that media may be furthering the progression of the Asian woman stereotype. This can be seen in movies, where the women are characterized by submissiveness. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. A sexual obsession with Asian people expressed by non-Asians. This article has multiple issues.
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My daughter from China came home at age 14 and is now a college student. She hasn't dated, so I don't know if she has encountered this, and I had no idea that this was such a wide spread issue. We've taught our girls that if the men they chose to marry live for Christ and love them deeply, the rest doesn't matter, but I can see that there may be other pressures.
As an aside, I always read your articles for the insights about Asian culture and happenings in Asia, especially China as it helps inform my prayers for my daughter's friends known and family unknown in China. Thank you again for your transparency and courage in sharing. Sophia, I think the gender differences, male and female, is way more significant than any racial difference. Yes, racial differences can be an added challenge. The one key is learning to understand, accept and work with your differences no matter where they come from.
The other key has been our Faith in Christ and Trusting Him to get us through the rough times. It has been nothing short of miraculous. I think our 40 plus years of married life is a testimony to those truths. I can remember many years ago, one of our close family friends went to Korea during the conflict war? There was some really negative talk about his bringing home a Korean wife - and we were all Christians!
They are the most beautiful Godly couple, with lots of children and a stable, loving-Jesus family. I babysat for them as a teenager for many years. Funny thing, lots of the whites complaining about the mixed marriage are now divorced! I wish we could stop looking at our skin to determine who we are or how we interract with others.
Granted, there are cultural differences especially in the older generations who were raised up more deeply steeped in their cultural ways than their Americanized offspring. Still, I know of so many mixed marriages and relationships where it just doesn't matter.
Different strokes for different folks! As an added benefit, Asians and whites make the most beautiful babies ever! As a black woman married to a white man for almost 35 years, I found it very interesting to see this issue from an Asian perspective. There are many similarities of, as you said, historical, cultural and social baggage. I used to work a blue-collar job of whom most of my clients were senior citizens and many of them were in mixed-marriages, for lack of a better term I simply call it marriage.
Considering the generation, many of the male clients had served in the military. They brought home Japanese, Philipino, Korean, Hawaiian wives. MLK Jr. We, in America, have largely defeated systemic racism. Christians should care less what others think about us in our relationships, or anything else for that matter, especially when we know that we are pursuing good things in a godly way. Sofia, you are an awesome writer!
And this article proves it--you have long been one of my favorite World columnists, but I perceive you also have the gift of sharing your most personal thoughts in a way that simultaneously instructs and entertains me. Thank you! I truly admire your candor.
I, a white Pennsylvania Dutch girl similar to your David, married a Latino--a man from Guatemala who immigrated legally to the US at age 19 and eventually became a citizen. During our three-year courtship, my mother was suspicious of both his accent and his non-Calvinist theology. An older lady at church once pulled me aside and whispered, "Be careful--if you marry him, you might have a black baby.
It was amazing to see my sometimes prejudiced mother hug my husband one day years later and say to him, with tears in her eyes, "I'm so glad you're part of our family. God has changed my attitude, and I see how much we have in common! Love is still winning out! We got here because of a lie. Modern anthropology has declared that there is no such thing as race.
Science and the Bible agree on this. The way to combat racial prejudice is with the truth. Asian is not a race, but a geographic origin or family group. Our ethnicity has to do with our lineage, i. The Johnsons have characteristics different than the Jones, but it isn't racial.
It's familial. It literally means child of Adam, which is what we all are. There is only one race, the human race. Christians should stand against the lie of race by shouting the truth from the rooftops. Thank you, Sophia, for sharing the above, surely not an easy topic to address. I'm old, so it's hard for me to imagine the heavy-with-angst, looking for "invisible cats", kind of atmosphere that you describe surrounding you and your beloved.
I tend to think huge progress in race relations has been made in my lifetime but your perspective reminds that there is still much to pray about, much to reconcile. Again, thank you! This is a very well-written and timely column.
It is saddening that there is still so much tension over interracial dating. Biblically, if a Christian finds a godly member of the opposite sex, is attracted to them, and is willing to sacrificially love them, then race should not be a barrier to their relationship. It is wise to evaluate the cultural baggage and character of the person one is dating, but those who would advise Sophia to shun a man merely because of his skin color are behaving in a way no better than the segregationists of old.
In recent years, I have been disheartened to find that among the very people who promote diversity, wokeness, social justice, etc. Indeed, I find that some of the so-called social justice movements seem to be merely replacing one sinful, racially discriminatory hierarchy with another one. Sophia is wise to critically evaluate these matters as closely as she clearly does, and I wish her the best.
I teach in an international Christian school in Indonesia and have often thought that I would like my students to turn out like you, a mature, vibrant young Christian impacting the world for Christ through her vocation. Some of the things in your article brought up some questions. But I wonder, about those who suspected your relationship of being based on twisted motives and corrupt desires, were they Christians or non-Christians or both?
I ask because it seems to me that there are things about your relationship that would be far more offensive, to non-Christians or even immature Christians, than the racial difference. If so, please forgive me, but I think my assumptions are helpful to follow this trail further. How would your friends respond if you told them that you and your boyfriend have not and will not engage in any sort of sexual activity until marriage?
And that at your wedding you will sincerely and happily vow to love and obey your husband? That at some point, probably soon, career will have to take a backseat to child rearing and raising? I think these things would be much more disturbing than the whole Asian girl, white boy thing, which strikes my students as a petty, ridiculous thing to get worked up about.
I see it the racial difference as a potential source of marital difficulty, but not likely in your case as you and your boyfriend seem to be very much on the same page culturally. Many Christians, and this is true of my life, are in such a Christian bubble that we rarely have much interaction, much less close relationship, with non-Christians.
So Paul goes from pagan Gentiles who stone him Acts to fellow believers who are trying to discredit him. He suffered, but he seemed to maintain a cheerful confidence in the face of virulent attack from all sides. Let me tell you more Sophia, I appreciate your honesty. I have just found this article today and wanted to offer what may be regarded as unusual comfort. I take racism as the apperception of race or ethnicity. When I say that most people object, but, no matter what you think racism is, this categorization is a prerequsite.
I agree with you that "white priviledge" is at least characterized by not being aware of their being "white. These ready categories become dulled in the particularity of relationships. I see my wife as a powerfully real figure in my life, unlike anyone else in the universe, but she remains a woman. So there are two points that I glean from these observations. The first is that "race," as well as "sex," and who knows what else, can never completely disappear.
I think, esp. This is the lesson of forgiveness that loves, like Christ, what is imperfect. For example, the sexualization of Asian women on screen was heightened after the Vietnam War due to prostitution and sex trafficking that American military men often took part in.
Yuen is quick to point out that Asian women, who possessed very little decision-making power throughout U. The historical emasculation of Asian men stings to this day. A study from OkCupid found that Asian men were ranked least desirable among all demographics. Another study found that the majority of its Asian American female respondents reported their attraction, from a young age, was overwhelmingly to European American boys.
However, directing anger toward Asian women for their interracial relationships uncovers a host of problematic underlying beliefs, experts said. Some of the vitriol stems from erroneous assumptions that because women are seen as more sexually desirable, they are therefore more privileged.
In what world do you see Asian women getting frontrunners for public office, being tapped to be CEOs of companies, to be considered for leads in Hollywood movies? Moreover, Choimorrow said the idea that Asian women are more privileged ignores the dangerous byproducts of their fetishization. This includes not only the dehumanization of these women, but also the susceptibility to harassment and violence due to the submissive stereotype.
From "21 to 55 percent of Asian women in the U. The range is based on a compilation of studies of disaggregated samples of Asian ethnicities in local communities. Dude, you don't walk out every day worrying about your physical safety. Dhingra also acknowledged that there lies a double standard when it comes to Asian women, leading the group to be judged more harshly than their male peers.
He explained that it comes down to a uniquely racialized brand of sexism. Additionally, because of the existing stereotype of Asian women as submissive, particularly to white men, the sight of an Asian woman in an interracial relationship can trigger the idea that she is perpetuating existing stereotypes. The burden placed on Asian American women to date within their own race also presents another problematic idea: that women are still thought of as property, Choimorrow noted.
Little has changed, Choimorrow believes. Even as many Asian Americans continue to fight for racial justice, some ideas have been slow to evolve. That's just f lame. But he also emphasized that people need to push back on the perpetuation of the problematic ideas in society that devalue Asian Americans while upholding whiteness. IE 11 is not supported.
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