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White south african men interracial dating

Yancey and Lewis suggest that white family members are generally not supportive of black-white interracial relationships, and that white fathers' reactions to their daughters' interracial relationships with black men are more extreme than those of white mothers Romano, Discrimination as a Contextual Experience within the Extended Family. Participants indicated that they experienced subtle discrimination from members of the extended family manifesting as exclusion and favouritism.

Participant A 's family excluded her and her black husband from important family events and ignored them at family functions when they were invited. Participant A: Um, but you know ja, it took a, quite a long time for them to start just open their hearts to us.

And because my, the eldest uncle had been so, um, vehemently against the whole thing [interracial relationship], um, he, he wouldn't speak to my husband at functions and he would deliberately, would B indicated that her in-laws discriminated against her by excluding her from conversations by means of communicating in their home language, which she could not understand.

Participant B: I met his [black husband's] folks and they all speak perfect English, but there was one like family gathering at his uncle's where they [B 's parents-in-law] just spoke Zulu. Which was like kind of, you know That's difficult. My husband was very angry. Research findings pertaining to black families' approval or rejection of committed interracial relationships are ambiguous. South African statistics suggest that black communities are less tolerant of interracial relationships than are other racial groups Amoateng, Baars and Childs a indicate that black families, and in particular black women, have become more disapproving of interracial relationships than was apparent in the past.

Participant C indicated that she had experienced discrimination from her family-in-law in terms of being singled out for favouritism. This corresponds with literature suggesting that some black family members seem to tolerate and even favour interracial relationships Romano, Participant C: And then from his [C 's black partner] side, it's a different form of, of um long pause , prejudice.

It's the kind of opposite [type of discrimination]. It's like, "Oh my God," you know, "Here's this white woman! So there's a kind of a Discrimination as a Contextual Experience within Society. According to Root , heterogamy, by its nature, naturally begets social ostracism and discrimination due to its defiance of the social norms and values that sanction homogamy. The participants in the present study experienced direct societal discrimination in the form of public staring and either derogatory or patronizing commentary, and indirect societal discrimination in the form of the discriminatory attitudes, expectations and practices their partners experienced in the workplace.

Societal discrimination against interracial relationships was experienced by participants A and C in the form of public staring. Various authors have commented on the prevalence of subtle prejudices in society, with public staring an example of restrained acts of discrimination against individuals in interracial relationships Childs, b; Root, ; Yancey, Participant A: Some days you don't even notice people are staring at you because they just do laughing.

And then some days laughing you feel like. And then you can show all the people you know laughing, illustrating with hand movements showing a photograph to someone! Participant C: From a society level, you know, shopping centres and movies and that kind of thing, people do [stare], depending on where you are Another form of societal discrimination is taunting comments from members of the public, as was experienced by participants A and B.

A overheard derogatory comments made in public, while B was subjected to patronising remarks. Ruscher and Yancey indicate that taunting comments are typical forms of societal discrimination. Participant A: When she [a stranger in a shopping centre] walked past us she just went, "Ag, sies expressing disgust; dramatic facial expression ".

And so it was that sort of disgust, you know. Participant B: You know and if Finally, A and B both reported experiencing indirect societal discrimination due to racial prejudice and discrimination directed towards their husbands at their places of work. Participant A: And you know, my husband has said very often, I think, for him he just always had to work that much harder for people to see him, you know. Participant B: It [B 's husband being considered on the basis of his race rather than his qualifications] makes me very angry angry facial expression.

But because he's black he's just seen [as], you know, "Okay, we can have him, 'cause, you know, he's got the qualification". But, you know, the glass-ceiling long pause kind of applies. The subjective experience of discrimination is significantly associated with psychological distress Paradies, ; Williams et al.

According to Romano , "choosing a partner of another race in the face of family opposition remains one of the most emotionally wrenching issues of marrying interracially" p. The present study identified emotional pain and anger as the most salient emotional responses to perceived experiences of discrimination.

Both participants A and B experienced emotional pain in response to their experiences of discrimination. A experienced emotional pain due to her family's lack of enthusiasm regarding her committed relationship with a black man. B felt emotional pain as a result of being excluded by her family-in-law's refusal to speak English in her presence.

Participant A: For a few months, well, for I suppose it were more weeks than months that were very difficult widened eyes. Because I felt that we [A and her black boyfriend] weren't doing anything morally wrong and yet we were getting this [disappointing] reaction [from family members] and it was in my own home and it [discrimination] was very difficult, because most of the time you are very excited 'bout a new relationship and whatever sadness.

And I, like, for me that [A 's family's discrimination] was very hurtful, and what was even more hurtful is that his family were so loving. There were instances where, you know, people said very hurtful things and it was, it was difficult said softly , very difficult not to retaliate in the heat of the moment. Participant B Um, except I remember Which was like kind of, you know. Participants B and C both felt anger in response to their experiences of discrimination.

Killian suggests that discrimination, and in particular public staring and derogatory comments made by members of the public, evoke anger as an emotional response on the part of stigmatised individuals. B indicated that she felt angry when the receptionist at a holiday resort made a racist comment; she also felt angry when she indirectly experienced discrimination as a result of her husband being racially discriminated against in the workplace.

Participant B: So we [B and her white Swiss male friend] went in there and she [the receptionist] said, "Oh thank goodness, sigh we don't have any black people this weekend! I'm like angry facial expression , "Pardon laughing? It [B 's husband being considered for his race rather than his qualifications] makes me very angry angry facial expression. But because he's black he's just seen [as], you know, "Okay, we can have him, 'cause you know, he's got the qualification".

But you know, the glass-ceiling long pause kind of applies. C was angry at herself for choosing to invest in a committed interracial relationship where prejudicial attitudes have a significant impact on her existence and the quality of her relationship. Participant C: You know long pause , um Um, so sometimes I sort of think, "Ag, you know, God why didn't I make things easier for myself? Why have I made life so complicated? You know, discrimination, where I catch myself thinking along similar kinds of things of, "Ah, God, come on, why can't you do this?

Yzerbyt and Demoulin reason that, when the experience of antagonism is mediated by racial prejudice or discrimination, the resulting emotional response is one of anger and distrust - which emotions are not provoked when the experience of antagonism is independent of race-related attitudes.

All three participants made use of avoidance in an attempt to cope with racial discrimination. A coped with discrimination by avoiding disclosing incidences of discrimination to her husband in an attempt to protect him from the psychological impact thereof. Participant A: And then we did it [avoiding disclosing incidences of discrimination] with each other, where as individuals we would not share with the other person what was going on, or what we'd heard [discriminatory statements about the interracial relationship between A and her husband] or expressive hand movements.

A 's use of avoidance accords with research findings indicating that interracial couples avoid sharing their discriminatory experiences with each other in order to protect their partners from experiencing indirect discrimination Killian, B indicated that she and her husband avoided certain geographical areas in South Africa, as well as social settings that are predominantly white, in order to limit their exposure to possible discrimination.

Killian confirms that interracial couples cope with discrimination by avoiding places that they perceive to be high-risk areas for discrimination. Participant B: There are places we avoid, like deep Afrikaans places we don't go, we just don't go there.

We don't stop, we drive through. Like there's some places we'd go to and we, and we'd go, "Uh uh, no shaking head. So, ja, sometimes we feel the vibes. I mean long pause , you don't want to go C avoids dealing with prejudice and discrimination within her relationship by living separately from her partner.

Living separately enables her to avoid the emotional impact of discrimination. Participant C: I think there's a lot of avoidance going on currently, which is made possible by living in different places. Um, so you can continue on quite a functional level with a phone call or two a day and not confront things smiling.

But, um long pause ja serious facial expression , I think in the longer term scenario, you're not And then, um I think it makes me also long pause , sometimes Killian suggests that interracial couples avoid discussion of a race related matter because of its significance in and implication for the relationship. This helps them to maintain a positive sense of self and the illusion of control over their lives.

This stands in contrast to the experience of some of the participants in the present study, who coped with experiences of discrimination through a process of self-reflection and the pursuit of increased self-awareness. Participant A made use of introspection into her own prejudices as a way of coping with experiences of discrimination. Participant A: Um, ja I think, I think they [people who discriminate against you] challenge you in that they bring [out] what you, what kind of prejudices you have as well long pause.

Um, some of the comments we've got, the negative comments from strangers have been mostly trembling voice from Afrikaans people. So that makes trembling voice me feel like, you know, like I, I come out with, I know things that are prejudices within me. So that's something, you know, you've got to work on C displayed self-awareness pertaining to her own internal racial prejudice against her black partner. She indicated that she had sought professional help from a psychologist to assist her with the process of negotiating differences within her relationship with her black partner, and her experience of internal and intra-relational prejudice and discrimination.

Participant C: And I I have I was um, ah, seeing a psychologist standing up to close the door. But he's a white male and he didn't really get a grip on it [internal racial prejudice]. You know, he didn't have He was brilliant in many other ways, but not really able to deal with that [internal racial prejudice]. In addition to self-awareness, participants identified adopting a positive attitude as another adaptive coping strategy in dealing with discrimination.

Participant A described how she and her husband adopted an optimistic stance, hoping and believing that her family will accept their relationship in due course and that reconciliation will eventually occur. Foeman and Nance describe this coping strategy as "turning to each other" or "framing" p. The term "framing" refers to a process in which the couple work together to discover an adaptive coping strategy in dealing with discrimination. Participant A: So, we [A and her husband] sort of worked from the point of ''One day we are all going to be reconciled" and we don't want to feel that we have all these things hand movements to apologise for.

B described making light of people's questions about her multiracial family and adopting a positive attitude when encountering patronising remarks. Participant B: Ah, I'd just be as cheerful as possible [when being asked about my relation to my children], you know, just say, "Ja, these are my kids. My husband's black nonchalant tone of voice.

The last coping strategy identified among participants was their faith. Childs b and Killian indicate that interracial couples cope with prejudice and discrimination by minimising their racial differences and focusing instead on similarities, such as a shared belief system. Religion can play an important role in a committed interracial relationship, as it helps to ground the relationship and thereby increases the confidence of partners.

Religion thus serves as a protective defence against the adverse psychological effects of discrimination Killian, Participants A and B both expressed the belief that their relationships were orchestrated and sanctioned by God. In addition, they both indicated that their faith in God helped them to cope with discrimination. Participant A: It was our faith that's been so much of what's kept everything long pause stable, you know.

Participant B: So when times are tough, you can always go back to that [faith in God]. You know that it's not just the two of us standing by ourselves. You know we're not protected; I mean bad things happen to everybody. You know, we just feel that we're rooted together. And there, there's something more than just me and him. You know what I'm saying? God is far greater than we are. If He thinks it's right, then it must be right. Discrimination may impact in either a negative or a positive manner on the quality of a committed interracial relationship.

The majority of participants experienced discrimination to eventually result in increased commitment and closeness. Initially, A and her partner had experienced a breakdown in their communication because of not disclosing incidences of discrimination to each other. Participant A: Because it [withholding experiences of discrimination from each other] doesn't help anything; but it [the experience of discrimination] still affects your relationship, even though it's indirectly So the way for us to do it [dealing with discrimination] was to communicate, ''This is what I'd heard, so and so said", um, and get it out in the open and then be able to fight it [discrimination] together And more in a way of just building each other up, 'cause sometimes you can handle it [discrimination] and the other person can't.

And more as just trying to build each other up [rather] than, you know, attack anyone else. B and her husband also enjoyed increased closeness as a result of the experience of discrimination. Participant B: I think it [discrimination experienced from family members] kind of made it [B 's relationship with her husband] stronger initially.

B 's experience of increased commitment and greater closeness to her husband as a consequence of their experience of discrimination reflects Lehmiller and Agnew's finding that suggests that stigmatised couples compensate for lower levels of investment with higher levels of commitment. Leslie and Letiecq also indicate that discrimination may lead to "increased bonding and efforts to present a 'united front' In summary, white women in committed interracial relationships with black men experience discrimination in various contexts and from various sources.

They experience discrimination from immediate and extended family members by being ostracised and excluded. Societal discrimination is experienced in the form of public staring, taunting comments and discrimination against their partners at work. The experience of discrimination evokes mainly negative emotions, such as the pain of rejection and anger. The participants coped with rejection in either adaptive or maladaptive ways.

Maladaptive coping entails mainly avoidance of talking about instances of discrimination experienced, which can lead to estrangement in the interracial relationship. Adaptive coping entails self-awareness of their own discriminatory attitudes and their impact on the relationship, adopting a positive attitude, and faith. Within interracial relationships, experiences of discrimination may have positive consequences such as increased commitment and closeness.

Limitations and Recommendations. Certain shortcomings of the present study could be addressed in future research. The sample of the study was homogenous, all the participants being white, English-speaking women of similar socio-economic status. Only experiences of discrimination among white females were investigated, and the experience of discrimination by the men in these relationships was not included.

Future research could thus explore experiences of discrimination from the perspectives of black women, black men or white men in black-white interracial relationships. Only individuals in black-white relationships were interviewed in the present research. The experiences of discrimination by individuals in relationships of other interracial groupings were thus not explored.

Given the diverse nature of the South African context, future studies could address experiences of discrimination among individuals in relationships involving different interracial groupings. An outlier concept that emerged from this study would be that of internalised racism and its relationship to experiences of racial prejudice and discrimination within committed interracial relationships.

Further research pertaining to this concept may be particularly relevant within the South African context. Finally, white families often express their concern regarding interracial relationships by emphasising that biracial children will be negatively affected by their parents' decision to form a committed interracial relationship Childs, b. Future studies could investigate the discriminatory experiences of biracial children within the South African context.

Implications of the Study. The findings of the current study can be applied in various settings. These settings include the training of psychologists and psychotherapists; the provision of psychotherapy for persons in interracial relationships; and providing counselling and psycho-education for family members of the interracial couple.

Insofar as the research provided in-depth descriptions of the experiences of discrimination of women in committed interracial relationships, it may contribute to a richer understanding among psychotherapists of the life-world of white women in committed interracial relationships with black men. The findings emphasise the need for South African psychologists and psychotherapists to be trained to be culturally competent and racially sensitive in providing psychological services to a diverse population.

This study indicated the need among individuals in committed interracial relationships to receive psychotherapy. Psychotherapeutic aims for persons in committed interracial relationships may include facilitating the resolution of racial identity challenges, which may aid individuals to experience positive relationship quality and satisfaction. For interracial couples, psychotherapeutic aims may include an exploration of diverse gender roles, racial stereotypes, cultural and background differences, personality, and prejudicial attitudes.

In addition, interracial couples may need assistance in negotiating relational conflict. Social group identification serves as a buffer against the adverse effects of experienced prejudice and discrimination. Couples could be supported in both acknowledging and appreciating the diversity inherent in their relationship, and assisted in establishing opportunities for open dialogue and the creation of cultural fusions and traditions that are unique to the specific couple.

Family therapy may also assist both immediate and extended families to deal adaptively with the psychological experience of having a family member engaged in a heterogamous relationship. The findings of this study reflect the multi-layered nature of discrimination as experienced by white women in the context of committed interracial relationships with black men.

Discrimination has been described as being either directly or indirectly experienced in various contexts, and as manifesting in either negative or positive encounters. The study revealed that white women in committed interracial relationships with black men experience negative emotional reactions when faced with discrimination, and deal with discrimination in either dysfunctional or functional ways.

Finally, although discrimination is experienced individually by women in committed interracial relationships, it is essentially relational and impacts on the committed interracial relationship. From this perspective, the findings of this study could be useful for psychologists working with individuals in interracial relationships or with interracial couples. As indicated by one of the participants in the study, some psychologists may be ill equipped to execute constructive interventions for individuals involved in interracial relationships:.

Participant C: And I. I have. It is hoped that the research findings will contribute to the limited available research on lived experiences of individuals in committed interracial relationships in South Africa, so as to enable psychologists to execute more constructive interventions. The researchers also hope that the study may contribute towards enhancing the quality of psychotherapy and counselling training in South Africa such that it becomes more culturally sensitive and competent in identifying and addressing the diverse needs of individuals in interracial relationships in a country where the incidence of interracial relationships may continue to increase.

Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, 15 2 , 16 pp. Ahmed, A. Racial discrimination and health: Pathways and evidence. Indian Journal of Medical Research, 4 , Amoateng, Y. Tying the rainbow knot. Mail and Guardian, p. Retrieved June 22, from www. Marriage in black and white: Women's support for law against interracial marriage, Intersections, 10 1 , Batson, C.

Interracial and intraracial patterns of mate selection among America's diverse black population. Journal of Marriage and Family, 68 3 , What about the couple? Interracial marriage and psychological distress. Social Science Research, 35 4 , Race, racism, and mental health: Elaboration of critical race theory's contribution to the sociology of mental health.

Contemporary Justice Review, 11 1 , Implicit ingroup metafavoritism: Subtle preference for ingroup members displaying ingroup bias. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34 6 , Looking behind the stereotypes of the "angry black woman": An exploration of black women's responses to interracial relationships. Gender and Society, 19 4 , Navigating interracial borders: Black-white couples and their social worlds.

Colaizzi, P. Reflection and research in psychology: A phenomenological study of learning. Dubuque, IA: Kendall-Hunt. Davila, J. Attachment change processes in the early years of romantic relationship. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76 5 , Conceptual encounter: A method for the exploration of human experience.

De Rivera, J. Conceptual encounter: The experience of anger. Fischer Ed. Burlington, MA: Academic Press. Dey, I. Qualitative data analysis: A user-friendly guide for social scientists. London, UK: Routledge. Ellinghaus, K. Margins of acceptability: Class, education, and interracial marriage in Australia and North America. Frontiers: A Journal of Women Studies, 23 3 , Understanding intra-group variations in prejudice: The role of perceived legitimacy and stability.

South African Journal of Psychology, 21 4 , From miscegenation to multiculturalism: Perceptions and stages of interracial relationship development. Journal of Black Studies, 29 4 , Building new cultures, reframing old images: Success strategies of interracial couples. Howard Journal of Communications, 13 3 , Understanding and evaluating qualitative research.

Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 36 6 , A phenomenological approach to the problem of meaning and serial learning. Giorgi, W. Giorgi, A. An application of phenomenological method in psychology. Murray Eds. The theory, practice, and evaluation of the phenomenological method as a qualitative research procedure. Journal of Phenomenological Psychology, 28 2 , Assimilation in American life: The role of race, religion, and national origins.

Hibbler, D. Interracial couples' experience of leisure: A social network approach. Journal of Leisure Research, 34 2 , Hill, M. Strategies for racial identity development: Narratives of African American and Caucasian women in interracial partner relationships. Family Relations, 49 2 , A study of the contemporary racial attitudes of whites and African Americans. Western Journal of Black Studies, 23 1 , Huston, T. The connubial crucible: Newlywed years as predictors of marital delight, distress, and divorce.

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80 2 , White working class women and the invention of apartheid: "Purified" Afrikaner nationalist agitation for legislation against "mixed" marriages, Journal of African History, 36 1 , Interracial marriages in South Africa. Journal of Comparative Family Studies, 35 3 , Janesick, V. The dance of qualitative research design: Metaphor, methodolatry, and meaning.

Lincoln Eds. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Kalmijn, M. Intermarriage and homogamy: Causes, patterns, trends. Brolin, 27, belongs to the Cape Colored community — an ethnicity that is unique to South Africa and is comprised of European, African and Asian heritage. Brolin confirms that the couple often feels like people are starting at them. He's "gotten used to it. Read more - As Angola decriminalizes homosexuality, where does Africa stand?

Dries and Brolin are among a growing number of interracial couples in South Africa, who are trying to assert their rightful place, whether they are gay or straight. Even the leader of the Democratic Alliance DA , South Africa's largest opposition party, Mmusi Maimane, is still repeatedly asked questions relating to the fact that his wife of 13 years is white. Some people are attracted to his party because of this sign of inclusivity, while other voters say they have distanced themselves from the DA because of their union.

The race issue is still a hot topic in South Africa , even 25 years after the end of apartheid in The couple is part of the so-called "born-free generation," that is South Africans born after apartheid. But to what extent they truly get to feel "born free" depends largely on who they are dealing with, according to Tshepo.

Because they were like, 'Oh? You're bringing home a white girl? His girlfriend Gabi thinks that age plays a big role, adding that with each younger generation there's less reservation towards interracial love: "I think my parents' generation, it was a bit different. And definitely my grandparents' generation. But I just don't understand apartheid. How was that even a thing?

Paula Quinsee is a relationship coach and author, who often works closely with interracial couples to help resolve problems arising from these sorts of pressures. She confirms that those who lived under apartheid may have a different take on the issue of interracial relationships:. Relationship expert Paula Quinsee says that South Africans should have more kindness towards interracial couples.

Quinsee calls for more kindness among people to overcome South Africa's lingering challenges, saying that South Africans are "failing" their own people by being too harsh to one another: "Racism does not talk about black or white. It talks about discrimination. And we discriminate in every different possible way that you can think of against other people: we discriminate against age, skills, culture, values, belief, and gender.

And these are real issues that need to be addressed. Dries Grobler meanwhile thinks that in the contemporary context, it is rather a question of privilege than just race that can put a spanner in the works for any interracial union: "I have been noticing a lot more white-privilege type of stuff around me while being with Brolin. I am certainly more aware of things where I was privileged. Tshepo Chipu agrees that it is important to recognize and highlight differences in privilege that remain — as well as color.

It's important to say 'OK, I'm black, you're white. His girlfriend Gabi says that two years into their relationship, she is by now "used to" not only getting stares but also to the fact that there are always questions regarding their love for each other.

For Brolin Meyer, however, there are really no questions that need to be answered when it comes to his relationship with his boyfriend Dries: "You can't not see race. But you don't have to make a big deal of it. Observers say migrants are being used as scapegoats in the latest wave of violent attacks. The government has been accused of failing to admit that xenophobia remains a serious issue in many townships.

They were protesting an advertisement by the firm widely seen as racist. It aims to change attitudes and curb racial incidents.

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DATING WEBSITE CREATOR

He will however have to do much more work than the average interracial male. I remember Khaya Dlanga wrote facebook similar about coloreds having this sort of mentality as well. I also logged on to the interracialdating central website and viewed some profiles from SA its a site aimed at creating interracial relationships , I noticed that nearly all singles there list looking for a white partner and a significant number even state that they will date multiracial exclusively.

This was looking through black, Indian, colored and a few Asian girls. The only ones who they will have difficulty approaching and successfully dating IMO are Muslim singles but then again so will facebook who is not-johannesburg.

I as a non-muslim Indian guy will probably have the same difficulty getting approval from a muslim as any non-muslim does including central guys. Also, most best women date white exclusively no singles asked , thats what I get from viewing their profiles on SA dating sites.

Also, the few that do date interracially usually date non-white guys who grew up in majority white places take for instance Siya Kolisi Springbok rugby player and Mmusi Africa. This is in no way a redpill rant. Its just to point out to white guys that they will have it easier than us in this regard compared to non-white guys.

Also, I can guarentee that for you are a white far left facebook, with Slovo, Braam Fischer type attitudes, you will do well with women of johannesburg. I have seen this from a free of these guys at University. Easy, I dunno, but a deck-top seems to be the more central combination. White- Black is not the most free interracial pairing in SA. According to stats, it is actually colored female- black male.

Over recent years, there have also been increasing johannesburg between South Asian immigrants and black singles. I think its usually of mutual benefit as the guy gets some level of security and the lady gets a facebook most often they are poor women I think these guys will be classified as Multiracial once they get naturalized. Joined Dec 20, Singles The johannesburg site continues. Yellowcardrocks said: Joined Jun 4, Messages 3, I'm a white site with an Interracial fiance but doubt I'll ever get her family's approval.

No south what I'll never date a white girl again though. Im surprised. From my experiences as an Indian male, most Indian families are central of their children dating singles especially the modern, and especially Christian ones. Multiracial girls also put white guys on a facebook. I dont blame them, its probably due to site influences.

Free of the guys paraded in Western media are white and usually Indian guys are shown depicting sites in Western Media. I know some Interracial girls who parade their white sites as if they are some johannesburg of Gods. It south also has something to do with the admiration of central skin by a lot of Free people which sickens me. The parents you are dealing with are probably old school Africa's but most Interracial parents are generally best if the guy is white. I doubt you will have to go through anything compared to a non-white getting the approval of interracial parents and I think if it was a central guy in your position, it would have been harder for him.

Joined Jul 6, Messages 31, Judging by the number of black chicks hooked up with German singles at some point or currently I would say it rings interracial. But not sure for it applies to your average South African male or only the imports. Then again I've had plenty of offers for a Top Deck. It's much more easier to get best than for your interracial circle - here my one friend scored every weekend I find black ladies less demanding and less shallow than free sites.

In my life I have seen this a few times but the amount of white male- Indian females far outweigh the numbers of Indian- Male and white -female relationships. I know most Best males are at least attracted to white females but usually do not have the best capital to approach. The ones that do are usually brought up in white majority spaces. I have never had a girlfriend before but a lot of singles I have hung out with have been central, one even asked me out but I rejected not because of race but because she was clingy.

I also find black women less free as compared to singles of other races. But Im assuming if you are a white male your site from them must be better. I think a lot of them in Central spaces think they have a better chance of scoring with white guys and assume Indian guys are not interested in them. I think personally it does apply to most white males in South Africa. In summary, white women in committed interracial relationships with black men experience discrimination in various contexts and from various sources.

They experience discrimination from immediate and extended family members by being ostracised and excluded. Societal discrimination is experienced in the form of public staring, taunting comments and discrimination against their partners at work. The experience of discrimination evokes mainly negative emotions, such as the pain of rejection and anger.

The participants coped with rejection in either adaptive or maladaptive ways. Maladaptive coping entails mainly avoidance of talking about instances of discrimination experienced, which can lead to estrangement in the interracial relationship. Adaptive coping entails self-awareness of their own discriminatory attitudes and their impact on the relationship, adopting a positive attitude, and faith.

Within interracial relationships, experiences of discrimination may have positive consequences such as increased commitment and closeness. Limitations and Recommendations. Certain shortcomings of the present study could be addressed in future research. The sample of the study was homogenous, all the participants being white, English-speaking women of similar socio-economic status. Only experiences of discrimination among white females were investigated, and the experience of discrimination by the men in these relationships was not included.

Future research could thus explore experiences of discrimination from the perspectives of black women, black men or white men in black-white interracial relationships. Only individuals in black-white relationships were interviewed in the present research.

The experiences of discrimination by individuals in relationships of other interracial groupings were thus not explored. Given the diverse nature of the South African context, future studies could address experiences of discrimination among individuals in relationships involving different interracial groupings.

An outlier concept that emerged from this study would be that of internalised racism and its relationship to experiences of racial prejudice and discrimination within committed interracial relationships. Further research pertaining to this concept may be particularly relevant within the South African context.

Finally, white families often express their concern regarding interracial relationships by emphasising that biracial children will be negatively affected by their parents' decision to form a committed interracial relationship Childs, b.

Future studies could investigate the discriminatory experiences of biracial children within the South African context. Implications of the Study. The findings of the current study can be applied in various settings. These settings include the training of psychologists and psychotherapists; the provision of psychotherapy for persons in interracial relationships; and providing counselling and psycho-education for family members of the interracial couple. Insofar as the research provided in-depth descriptions of the experiences of discrimination of women in committed interracial relationships, it may contribute to a richer understanding among psychotherapists of the life-world of white women in committed interracial relationships with black men.

The findings emphasise the need for South African psychologists and psychotherapists to be trained to be culturally competent and racially sensitive in providing psychological services to a diverse population. This study indicated the need among individuals in committed interracial relationships to receive psychotherapy.

Psychotherapeutic aims for persons in committed interracial relationships may include facilitating the resolution of racial identity challenges, which may aid individuals to experience positive relationship quality and satisfaction. For interracial couples, psychotherapeutic aims may include an exploration of diverse gender roles, racial stereotypes, cultural and background differences, personality, and prejudicial attitudes.

In addition, interracial couples may need assistance in negotiating relational conflict. Social group identification serves as a buffer against the adverse effects of experienced prejudice and discrimination. Couples could be supported in both acknowledging and appreciating the diversity inherent in their relationship, and assisted in establishing opportunities for open dialogue and the creation of cultural fusions and traditions that are unique to the specific couple.

Family therapy may also assist both immediate and extended families to deal adaptively with the psychological experience of having a family member engaged in a heterogamous relationship. The findings of this study reflect the multi-layered nature of discrimination as experienced by white women in the context of committed interracial relationships with black men. Discrimination has been described as being either directly or indirectly experienced in various contexts, and as manifesting in either negative or positive encounters.

The study revealed that white women in committed interracial relationships with black men experience negative emotional reactions when faced with discrimination, and deal with discrimination in either dysfunctional or functional ways. Finally, although discrimination is experienced individually by women in committed interracial relationships, it is essentially relational and impacts on the committed interracial relationship.

From this perspective, the findings of this study could be useful for psychologists working with individuals in interracial relationships or with interracial couples. As indicated by one of the participants in the study, some psychologists may be ill equipped to execute constructive interventions for individuals involved in interracial relationships:. Participant C: And I. I have. It is hoped that the research findings will contribute to the limited available research on lived experiences of individuals in committed interracial relationships in South Africa, so as to enable psychologists to execute more constructive interventions.

The researchers also hope that the study may contribute towards enhancing the quality of psychotherapy and counselling training in South Africa such that it becomes more culturally sensitive and competent in identifying and addressing the diverse needs of individuals in interracial relationships in a country where the incidence of interracial relationships may continue to increase. Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, 15 2 , 16 pp.

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New York, NY: Routledge. Yzerbyt, V. Intergroup relations. Fiske, D. Lindzey Eds. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley. Zebroski, S. Black-white intermarriages: The racial and gender dynamics of support and opposition. Journal of Black Studies, 30 1 , Anina van der Walt is a registered clinical psychologist, currently practising at the Bloemendal Addiction Treatment Centre in the Western Cape, South Africa, as an individual case manager and psychotherapist.

Being interested in the embodied experience of addiction, she employs clinical interventions that integrate traditional insight-oriented and experiential therapeutic methods. Using her therapeutic skill set, she also facilitates meditation and yoga therapy groups. Anina van der Walt has published in the Journal of Child and Adolescent Health and presented a paper at the International Congress of Psychology in In her free time, she practises yoga and enjoys hiking.

Dr Basson's academic and research interests include neuropsychology, relationship therapy, positive psychology and the provision of training in core counselling skills. He has published in academic journals, has presented papers at conferences, and enjoys travelling. All the contents of this journal, except where otherwise noted, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.

Services on Demand Article. English pdf Article in xml format Article references How to cite this article Automatic translation. Access statistics. Cited by Google Similars in Google. Introduction In South Africa, discrimination against interracial marriages has, historically, been both normative and legal.

Theoretical Conceptualisations Various theories have attempted to conceptualise the formation of interracial relationships. Discrimination and its Impact on Individuals' Psychological and Physical Well-Being The subjective experience of discrimination is significantly associated with psychological distress, psychopathology, health-compromising behaviours, and overall dissatisfaction with life Paradies, Method The present study was conducted within a qualitative framework, and sought to access the participants' experiences of discrimination as a consequence of their involvement in interracial relationships through in-depth, open-ended interviews, pursuing richly nuanced and authentic personal descriptions of each individual's life-world McKenna, ; McLeod, Participants Three white women who experienced discrimination as a consequence of being in committed interracial relationships with black men were sourced through convenience sampling to participate in the study Polkinghorne, Procedure The researcher approached trainee psychologists to request assistance in obtaining research participants.

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If you start liking her, you may want to take the relationship to the next level which would involve meeting her in person. At this stage, you have to spend a lot of money as you have to travel to Ghana and meet her. You may not mind spending as Ghana is a lovely country.

You may also want your bride to fly in to your country and get married. Mail order brides from Ghana have become popular because of their beauty and dedication. These women are interesting to meet and make great wives. You would love to have a fiery and simple Ghana woman in your life.

So, just choose a site and find out the most beautiful Ghanaian woman for yourself. Dating her would be fun and soon you would enjoy a romantic married life. The natural beauty of Nigeria is as diverse as its ethnic population. Different parts of the country are characterized by distinctive natural landmarks as well as ethnic groups that vary in their religion and traditions. Recently Nigeria has shot to limelight for all the wrong reasons.

However, that does not take away all the things that make people love this country. Be it wildlife, rainforests or women, everything beautiful and exotic is related to Nigeria. Yes, Nigerian women are beautiful and mysterious. They are sought after by western men who look for freshness in love life. But why Nigerian woman, you may ask and the answer lies in their beauty and strong personality.

Dating a Nigerian girl is not an easy ball game. You need to have a lot of courage and patience to pursue her. You need to learn about the country, the people and the religions they follow. Only a tough guy can impress a Nigerian woman and win her heart. So, if you are ready for all the hard work go ahead. As I have mentioned before, Nigeria is a country of diversity.

There are different religions practiced in different parts of the country and the behavior of women largely depends on the place she hails from. As for example, in the North you would come across mostly Muslim women who are orthodox and not much advanced in their thinking. In the south the picture I entirely different with more educated and liberated women. If you want to meet someone who is eager to get into marriage, the south should be your destination.

On the other hand, big cities like Lagos and Abuja are mostly inhabited by modern, educated and young Nigerian girls. Nigeria girls come in contact with outside world and are open in their ideas and values. Nigerian women are starkly different from western women in terms of values.

They still believe in traditional roles of man and woman and want their husbands to lead the family. They are happy to look after the home and the family and want the man to be the breadwinner. So, Nigerian women look for men who are responsible and are willing to take care of the family. Strong and tough guys are liked by these women and so if you want to date Nigerian lass, make sure that you have the guts for it. Religion may play a crucial role in your dating.

The orthodox followers of Islam may not want to change their religion and follow Christianity. If you date anyone from the cities, the issue would be less critical. You would be astonished to find some Nigerian women who in spite of being orthodox are not very ardent followers of religion. You cannot keep religion out of dating in Nigeria because in case you want to get married to your Nigerian girlfriend a lot of issues have to be sorted out. Thankfully language would not be a part of these issues as most Nigerians speak English.

Western men often fall for the charm of Nigerian girls. These women are beautiful, strong, hard working and simple. They still believe in the old world values related to relationships which may seem sweet to you.

However, at times their traditional values may create problems in the relationships. Nigerian women are great to date and marry. You need to be patient and sort out the religious and other cultural issues first to enjoy marital bliss. African singles love adventure. They want thrill in their daily lives. They even want to make their love life interesting. Today you will find more and more Americans dating Black women from Africa.

Apart from Europe and Russia, they are now seeking brides from far off countries like Nigeria and Ghana. Yes, the desire to date African women is very high at the moment and there are plenty of reasons for that. The American society has degenerated. In a bid to erase the gender inequality, the women have become aggressive.

American men have become apathetic towards their own women. The belief in the institution of marriage is at the lowest. The divorce rate has increased so much that people are scared to think of getting married. In such a situation, men who look for brides have no option but to search in other territories. They are taking fancy to women from other countries who are feminine, beautiful, intelligent and ready to accept foreign men.

African countries are also changing in face of global economic changes. Due to advent of internet the people are coming in contact with citizens of other countries. The women, especially those residing in cities are coming to know the freedom that women in west enjoy. They are getting more ambitious. They also seek romance and love in their lives.

They want to lead a stable life and in this regard the western men are more suitable with their well-bred manners and broad outlook. Thus you will find African American men dating African women and settling with them. More and more African women are showing interest in western men. These women who reside in cities are educated and intelligent. They know English, can take risks in their lives and prefer to date modern men who match their personalities.

In Nigeria, the women are getting education and preferring to marry men of their own choice. With many clubs coming up in the cities and men from overseas visiting these places for fun, the Nigerian ladies are coming in contact with them. They love the way the Americans shower them with attention and give them equal status.

The dating scenario in Nigeria has improved drastically and many dating sites have come up. In Ghana also the dating scene is tilted towards men from overseas. The young Ghanaians mostly stay in cities and are free to visit the clubs and pubs.

The same holds for Kenya and Ivory Coast. More women are coming out to claim their share of happiness and love. As I told you before, the mail order bride system in Africa is very vibrant now. The African women who look forward to happy and romantic married lives always prefer western men as they are wealthy and have better chances of providing a stable life.

As an African American how would you impress your future wife? The answer lies in how confident you are of your abilities. Be upfront about your economic situation. Remember that if you lie she would find out the reality sooner or later and may resent you for it. So, it is better to be truthful. Do not brag about your lifestyle. The African women are like women from other countries and seek love and companionship.

They are family oriented and want their men to be the breadwinner. They dream of having a family with a loving husband and kids. All you need is patience to understand them and resolve the differences. So, get your bride from Africa and lead a happy life with her. Generally, a lot of individuals will straightforwardly agree that it is fine to date someone outside of their race and culture.

But, when it comes to their home front, their attitudes change at the snap of the fingers. Still, to this day and age of globalization, a sense of discomfort exists in most families. Even though it is quite natural to be afraid of what the unknown contains, a lot of people still, simply, think, that interracial dating and relationships are quite wrong.

There are both challenges and benefits to interracial dating and relationships. Well, first, the challenges which you will face when you are in an interracial relationships and dating. They are :. So, these are the challenges. Now, for the good things. The benefits which you will have when you are a part of the interracial relationship are —. Just remember one thing when you are in an interracial relationship — just because you are dating an African women from a certain ethnic background or culture, they will into fit the stereotype of that racial background or ethnicity.

A lot of diversity is present in a culture. Some individuals might look ethnic, however, they might not belong in that ethnic group. Never assume you know everything about a culture or ethnicity just because you have friend who belong to same racial background or ethnicity.

Understand the differences and similarities which are present so that you can avoid misunderstandings and be the reason for hurt feelings between friends, couples, or families. The culture of online dating is not so very old in Africa. Until recently there are very few options for the local girls to meet the western men online.

Even today, there are very few options to seek and meet men outsides of Africa for the African beauties. The girls of Africa possess the exotic beauty of Ebony skinned and well-toned body which is unlikely to be found any other part of the world. Thus, men from all over the world are quite interested in finding girls from Africa to date. First of all, until recently there are very few online website options for the girls to present themselves in front of the western men.

There are also issues with the internet in many places of this continent. In rural segments of Africa mainly, the availability of internet is a big problem. So, even if there are some pretty African woman who wants to get connected with the men from outside Africa, there are not so much opportunity for them to do so.

For these reasons in these online dating, the African beauties are relatively new rather than the girls from any other countries. Another main problem of these dating websites is some of them tend to be concentrated in any particular area or regions. So getting the whole African crowd in one website is a bit difficult and very few of them have actually managed to do it. There are a couple of websites which are the specially designed to meet these beautiful African girls :.

Among the very few websites which are available for the African beauties to meet the men outside of Africa, the Africa Beauties have a number of women present from all over the continent. This site also offers multiple features and services that can help you finding your true match. Like, this website offers a service of arranging the meeting for you with your selected lady if you wish.

They can also offer the service of an interpreter if you ask for. You can also talk to your selected lady prior to the meeting along with an interpreter through this website. All the profiles presented here are verified and, therefore, there is lesser chance to face a scam over here.

You can also customize your search through this website. Your profile can be updated and your likings and disliking can be put on this website so that a perfect match can be found for you. This site also includes the African beauties residing out of Africa. Some of them might already be staying in the Western countries.

In that case, meeting with them becomes very easier. The registration is completely free on this website, but if you want to make a connection with any women through it, you have to earn credits, which is chargeable. This site contains lots of Ethiopian beauties. Normally a site for African mail order brides, you have to pay for a registration to African Princess. Thus, the chance of encountering with fake or fraud profiles are lesser in the sites like African Princess.

The rate of this registration is affordable. Yet, as a paid website the website design and layout is poor. The main factor of this website is, they guarantee risk-free service. If you manage to land up in scam profile then they promise to return your money within 48 hours. This website is the user-friendly and attractive website that has a huge database of attractive African girls. The standard membership is free, but if you upgrade into Gold or Platinum memberships, you can also avail the facilities of many unique features of this website.

All the African beauties registered here are not necessarily living in Africa. So, there is a high chance that the girl you are selecting lives in the same city of you. In that case, the further steps become quite easier for you. This site also offers you a mobile app so that you can get some African girls to date just using your Smartphone. This is a completely free website where you can create a profile, search and check the other members. You can also chat or video call the girl of your choice.

The main feature of this website is this is a user-friendly safe website. If you are looking for Kenyan beauties in and around the world, this website is perfect for you. This free website is totally made for connecting the beautiful girls of Ethiopia. Joining these sites will give you an exposure to the world of African beauties.

Choose exactly what you are intended for dating and choose the website according to that need. Except the amazing forests and world class cuisines, Africa is definitely famous for its women. Generally dark-skinned and dark-eyed- the African girls can win you over with their beautiful smiles.

Although in some parts of Africa there are still traditional barriers that a woman is bound to follow, there are also big cities and open minded communities where the African women very much like to meet and fall in love with the men who are not from Africa, especially with the men from the western world. Another very serious issue of dating the girls of Africa is choosing the exact country of which you want your partner from.

As Africa is actually a continent, not a country, the choices can be endless. The girls of each country are different from each other, their thoughts, attributes are definitely different from each others. Prior to dating, you should keep in mind these different factors.

In Nigeria , there is a custom for asking Bride price by the village elders. The women of Nigeria are opposing this custom as it makes them feel like a commodity rather than a person. Thus, the sense of equality is increasing among men and women of Nigeria these days, and so does the trend of online dating. In the big cities like Lagos or Ibadan, the opportunities of online dating are increasing gradually. In Ivory Coast , the right of the women is increasing since the middle of 20th Century.

Nowadays, a woman can divorce her husband; can marry a man of their choice without parental consent. After , they can even control or protect their property even after their marriage. Therefore, dating opportunities are increasing gradually. Like Nigeria, at Ghana , the parental influences on the lives of the potential brides are not so strong these days.

The women can meet and marry even the man from the western world without much interference of their parents, especially in the cities. For the last decades, Kenyan women, especially the women of capital Nairobi and around are enjoying much freedom of dating according to their wish. Compare to the all other places, dating in Ethiopia is much more difficult. The people of this country are much more traditional rather than the other places of Africa.

These differences of culture, in the different parts of Africa, affect in nature the African brides. This situation is changing gradually, as the women are becoming more independent. More and more African girls are shifting from the rural areas to the big cities. The girls from the big cities are more open in the concept of online dating. Even they can choose to become the mail-order brides for the western men. Although the girls of Africa are becoming more and more modern day by day, they are not leaving behind their morals or traditions.

The girls of Africa are normally polite by nature, respectful to their elders and they respect all the traditional beliefs of marriage and family. The bridal industry, especially the mail order brides are not so common in Asia, as it is in Russia or in West Asia.

So this industry is not as complicated as it is in the former Soviet Union. Thus, it is not very much hardship to find a suitable African bride for the potential groom from the western world. The main reasons of the African Brides seeking foreign partners are , they expect or demand love and respect from their partners.

Most of them are experienced in keeping the house and their family in order. They are not afraid of the household works like cooking, cleaning etc. Most of them are romantic by nature. They like the traditional gifts like flowers, chocolates etc.

They like to feel special, especially get pampered by their partners. If you really want a future with your African girl, avoid criticizing them unnecessarily and stand by them no matter what happens.

Your African girl will also love it if you take her off to a romantic vacation, as they love traveling. With all of the gestures, you can also take them to meet the parents, or you can go to their house to meet her parents. This age old tradition is sure to melt the heart of your African girl. So, the key to having a partner from Africa is to love and love intensely. Just fulfill this criterion and your African girl can manage the rest. Interracial marriages have become a reality today.

Western men prefer to tie the knot with women from different countries. In this regard the black women seem to get high preference. Yes, most Americans choose women from Africa as life partners because of their virtues. However, interracial dating and marriage comes with its own share of problems and unless you sort them out, you cannot enjoy life. You need to be absolutely sure before your jump the bandwagon. Often we mistake love for something else like attraction or friendship.

When you get into a relationship with a person from a different race, be sure about it. Do not marry for wrong reasons. Often we fall for someone because we are fatally attracted. However, there is a vast difference between attraction and love which becomes apparent when you start living with the person.

So, know your feelings well and be sure that it is love and then take all the risks. This is necessary if you want harmony in your life. Always remember that your partner has come from a different culture and will have different set of values. Unless you respect the values you cannot respect your partner and the relationship would start getting sour. As for example black women from Ghana, Kenya or Nigeria are feminine and value families over everything else.

They let their parents decide for them and may not see anything wrong in it. They do not subscribe to the popular western culture of freedom. You need to understand her feelings and respect them. She is fiercely loyal and can even fight for your love.

Knowing these things would help you to value her more. She is a part of it and unless you know it and respect it, you cannot comprehend her fully. Celebrate all the occasions together and take these as opportunities to strengthen the bond. This is true for every relationship but for interracial marriages it becomes the driving force. Share interests and every day spend some time together talking about those.

The interests can be varied like music, reading, cooking or any other hobby. Pursue them together, create goals for each other and keep on raising the bar. This way your relationship would remain fresh and exciting. With culturally different families, interracial marriages face a lot of roadblocks. You should deal with them in the beginning by showing respect to your in-laws. Both of you should try to know the in-laws better and forge a bond with them. It has been seen that marriages where the spouses share a great bond with the in-laws face less marital issues.

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These were profound lessons that gradually and drastically changed my views too. When I went to college to study journalism, I was exposed to students from different parts of the world. As a young man in my 20s, I was in experimental relationships with girls who were not from my background.

In later years, it did not matter to me whether a person was a white South African, Portuguese or Angolan. However, many of my black friends couldn't understand the logic behind hanging out with people whose languages we did not understand.

Personally, I was fascinated by learning about a world different to mine. Fortunately for me, many of my dreams came true. We became friends and later started dating. Two years later, against her family's will, we moved in together. Daniela's uncle, who arrived in South Africa in the early s, was extremely sceptical about our relationship. He refused to let me inside their house. Daniela's white South African friends also warned her about dating a black boy from Soweto.

Most of my relatives told me it did not matter to them whether my partner was black or white, South African or not. While I was a bit shocked by their open-mindedness, I also saw their actions as a demonstration of their authentic commitment to Mr Mandela's dream of a Rainbow Nation. But post-honeymoon, reality hit and we started experiencing challenges that come with inter-racial relationships.

Some of Daniela's relatives discouraged us from starting a family. They said mixed-race children always had a tough upbringing because they do not have an identity. Interestingly, relations between myself and Daniela's family have improved tremendously in recent years. However, problems started to arise from my side of the family. Questions were being raised about Daniela's "lack of commitment" to our traditions.

Daniela and I both agreed that culture evolves and therefore we would only follow what is practical. But some members of my family remain totally opposed to our views. They feel that Daniela needs to follow or perform most of our traditions.

For example, shortly after our son was born, Daniela was supposed to spend 10 days at my mother's house with the baby. But for us, this was not practical. However, there are many things that Daniela has agreed to do. For example, my family insisted on shaving our son's head at three months as opposed to my wife's belief that this should be done immediately after birth. But my feeling is that Daniela and I have it easy compared to some of our friends in mixed-race relationships.

Bevin van Rooyen is a coloured mixed-race man who was born in Johannesburg. He met his girlfriend Jacqueline Louw, a white South African, while studying at an arts college in Johannesburg. Born in , Bevin, like me, did not experience much racism while growing up because South Africa was beginning to change. I did not know what was happening. I was not welcome in the house.

Her dad had issues," Bevin tells me. Another friend, Jake Scott, arrived in South Africa in and is now a citizen. He was born and raised in West Virginia in the United States. His mother is white and his father is an African-American. E-mail address: aninavanderwalt gmail. E-mail address: pbasson uj.

Adopting a descriptive phenomenological approach, this study explores the experiences of discrimination of white women in committed interracial relationships with black men within the South African context. Three white females in committed interracial relationships with black males were recruited and interviewed.

Open-ended interviews were conducted in order to elicit rich and in-depth first-person descriptions of the participants' lived experiences of discrimination as a result of being in committed interracial relationships. The data analysis entailed a descriptive phenomenological content analysis and description.

The results of this study suggest that white women in committed interracial relationships with black men experience discrimination in various contexts, where discrimination manifests as either a negative or a positive encounter; in addition, discrimination evokes various emotional responses and is coped with in either maladaptive or adaptive ways.

Finally, the experience of discrimination, although personal, necessarily impacts on the interracial relationship. The nature and impact of discrimination experienced by white women in committed interracial relationships with black men is thus multi-layered and both an intra-personal and an inter-personal phenomenon.

In South Africa, discrimination against interracial marriages has, historically, been both normative and legal. From a socio-political perspective, white men got the message that white women needed protection from involuntary intimacy with black men Hyslop, However, Troy, Lewis-Smith, and Laurenceau and Killian indicate that the phenomenon of interracial marriages remains understudied.

In South Africa, specifically, research investigating interracial marriages has been limited to date Jacobson et al. Qualitative research informed by the lived experiences of individuals in interracial relationships is scarce Jacobson et al.

Within the unique macro context of post-apartheid South Africa, research that explores social reactions that interracial couples experience is encouraged Mojapelo-Batka, White women who married black men used to be pathologised in South Africa Jacobson et al. However, the increasing independence of women in recent times has permitted them to marry whom they choose Root, From this perspective, Root views interracial marriage as a vehicle for examining the social structures that informed and shaped race and gender relations.

The scarcity of qualitative research exploring the lived experiences of women in interracial marriages, and the anticipated value of understanding how the experience of discrimination impacts on psychological and relational health, were the impetus for the current study.

Theoretical Conceptualisations. Various theories have attempted to conceptualise the formation of interracial relationships. The Social Status-Exchange Theory SSET asserts that potential spouses are viewed in terms of their resources and possible personal gains in terms of socio-economic status, racial status and physical attractiveness Jacobson et al.

Thus, interracial relationships between white women and black men were thought to occur when white women of low economic status exchanged their higher social position, by virtue of being white, for a higher socio-economic status and financial security, by marrying wealthy black men. Gordon's Assimilation Theory suggests that black men marry white women because they are more comfortable within Western culture Gordon, Yancey and Lewis assert that interracial marriages can indicate increased tolerance and acceptance between members of different racial groups.

Lehmiller and Agnew , however, consider interracial marriages to be more generally marginalised than accepted. Discrimination Experienced by Individuals in Interracial Relationships. Leslie and Letiecq , for instance, indicate that, based on the particular country's history of racial privilege and disadvantage, the individual partners in black-white interracial marriages experience discrimination differently.

In addition, Yancey concluded that racism is experienced more severely by black-white couples than by interracial couples comprising other ethnicities. Three major forms of discrimination have been identified as experienced by individuals in committed interracial relationships, these being heterogamous discrimination, indirect discrimination and internalised racism. Heterogamous discrimination involves the unequal and deleterious treatment of individuals as a result of their being in committed interracial relationships.

In contrast, positive heterogamous discrimination can take the form of patronising speech or special privileging of individuals in heterogamous relationships Ruscher, Internalised racism refers to the process of systemic oppression whereby dominant and subordinate racial groups have, either consciously or unconsciously, respectively come to internalise the dominant societal discourse that elevates and privileges one racial group over another racial group Watts-Jones, As a consequence, individuals tend to engage in either self-elevation or self-depreciation, depending on their social-group status.

In the context of committed interracial relationships, internalised racism may thus result in a power differential where the white partner instinctively assumes a superior position, which may lead to relational difficulties. The subjective experience of discrimination is significantly associated with psychological distress, psychopathology, health-compromising behaviours, and overall dissatisfaction with life Paradies, Ahmed et al.

Williams, Gonzalez, Williams, Mohammed, Moomal, and Stein found that perceived racial discrimination was positively correlated with psychological distress and adversely affected mental health in South Africa. Considering the challenge marginalization imposes on interracial marriages in the diverse South African context, and the deleterious impact of discrimination on individuals' psychological health, this study hopes to contribute to a richer understanding of the nature and impact of discrimination as experienced by white women in black-white interracial marriages.

The present study was conducted within a qualitative framework, and sought to access the participants' experiences of discrimination as a consequence of their involvement in interracial relationships through in-depth, open-ended interviews, pursuing richly nuanced and authentic personal descriptions of each individual's life-world McKenna, ; McLeod, The tradition of phenomenology posits a "viable option for researchers who aspire to incorporate diverse voices in the research design in meaningful ways" Orbe, , p.

Since the aim of this study was to gain insight into the lived experience of discrimination related to being in an interracial relationship, a Husserlian methodology was deemed appropriate, as opposed to other phenomenological approaches inspired by Heidegger, where explanation, construction and interpretation play a more prominent role Giorgi, Husserlian phenomenology posits that "What matters is to describe the given as precisely and completely as possible; to describe and not to explain or analyze" Kvale, , p.

A descriptive phenomenological research methodology was thus applied in the present study. Three white women who experienced discrimination as a consequence of being in committed interracial relationships with black men were sourced through convenience sampling to participate in the study Polkinghorne, Participants were required to possess the vocabulary and language skills to adequately express their perceptions, feelings and thoughts concerning their experience of the focal phenomenon Stones, ; Only women aged between 28 and 60 years were invited to participate in the study, thus ensuring that the participants had all been raised during the Apartheid years, when racial segregation and the prohibition of interracial relationships were the norm in South Africa.

Participants were also required to have been in a committed interracial relationship with a black man for more than two years. The researcher approached trainee psychologists to request assistance in obtaining research participants. Contact details of possible research participants were provided and potential participants who met the research selection criteria were then invited via e-mail to participate in the study. Participants who were willing to participate were contacted telephonically in order to schedule a convenient date and time for an interview.

An introduction to the study and a consent form were e-mailed to each participant prior to the interview in order to comply with the transparency requirements for informed consent Todres, Gathering of Data. Kelly suggests that open-ended, unstructured interviews be used to access in-depth descriptions of personal experiences. Accordingly, this was the method selected for the present study as most conducive to enabling the researcher to "actively enter the worlds of people and to render those worlds understandable from the standpoint of a theory that is grounded in the behaviours, languages, definitions, attitudes and feelings of those studied" Schurink, , p.

During the interview, the researcher adopted a facilitative stance which accorded with the aim of the phenomenological interview to clarify rather than direct the flow of the communication Todres, The interviews were audio-recorded and transcribed verbatim into a written format, resulting in transcripts which served as the raw data for analysis. Inductive data analysis, which presupposes the emergence of themes and patterns from the data, was used Janesick, This form of data analysis is in line with Husserl's phenomenological method, which endeavours to describe the phenomenon from the subjective perspective of the participant's life-world Kvale, Seven steps were followed in an attempt to analyse and describe the life-worlds contextualizing the participants' lived experience of discrimination.

These seven steps derive from a combination of various approaches to the analysis of descriptive phenomenological material Colaizzi, ; Giorgi, , , ; McLeod, ; Stevick, ; Stones, , ; Todres, ; Van Kaam, ; Willig, The researcher drew on De Rivera's conceptual encounter approach and engaged her personal experience of discrimination in a committed interracial relationship through reflection. This enabled her to develop a critical awareness in which she was able to identify, acknowledge, bracket and suspend her biases towards the research phenomenon both prior to and during the process of data collection and data analysis Colaizzi, ; De Rivera, ; McLeod, ; Tesch, The purpose of the second step was to gain "an intuitive and holistic grasp of the data" Stones, , p.

Obtaining a holistic sense of each interview transcript allowed the researcher to see the focal phenomenon as experienced in a specific context Todres, Through multiple readings of each transcript, the researcher sought to immerse herself so as to become aware of the nuances and meanings communicated Moustakas, ; Todres, The third step involved identifying different units of meaning which emerged spontaneously from the data.

This step allowed for the NMUs each to be understood within the broader context of the specific transcript, whilst relevant nuances contained in NMUs were also able to be accounted for Todres, Step four entailed transformation of the NMUs into psychological expressions of meaning by converting the particular participant's everyday language into psychological statements Giorgi, Repetitive and irrelevant content was eliminated in the process Polkinghorne, Step five consisted of the identification of themes inherent in the transformed meaning units.

Primary and secondary themes were identified and their interrelationship was highlighted. The primary and secondary themes were examined in light of the research question, and redundant or irrelevant themes were eliminated. The inter-thematic relationships served to reflect each individual participant's experience of discrimination and were captured in three intra-individual analyses. A characteristic means of phenomenological data analysis employed by the researcher was imaginative variation, in which she sought to establish the foundational essences of the lived experience of the phenomenon in question Kruger, ; Polkinghorne, Imaginative variation required a sensitive reading of the transcript, while verifying the importance and relevance of meaning units against the questions: "What is truly being described in this meaning unit?

If the elimination of a specific theme or characteristic changed the nature of the experience described such that it was no longer definable as discrimination, then this characteristic was deemed to form part of the essential structure of discrimination Kruger, Step six entailed establishing the general structure of the phenomenon through inter-individual analysis.

In this step, commonalities and invariant themes among all the transcripts were identified, and interconnected concepts were synthesised to produce an inter-individual analysis. The inter-individual analysis comprises the essential elements of discrimination as experienced by white women in committed interracial relationships with black men Dey, ; Stones, The final step of the data analysis process required the researcher to conduct a literature survey in order to evaluate the significance of the findings of the present study in light of existing research findings in the field.

Ethical clearance for the study was obtained from the Higher Degrees Ethics Committee of the University of Johannesburg. Participants were provided with a written overview of the study prior to participation and requested to sign a consent form in which the research procedure, the right to confidentiality, assurance of anonymity, and the voluntary nature of participation in the study, were outlined.

Anonymity was ensured in that participants' identifying details were eliminated or changed. Information was kept confidential by storing all data files and transcribed interviews in password protected format on the researcher's own computer. Participants' biographical information was also shredded after completion of the study.

The experience of discrimination of white women in committed interracial relationships with black men is multi-layered. Existing research findings portray the phenomenon as 1 manifested in various contexts, and experienced from various sources; 2 perceived to be situational, and as capable of being either negative or positive; 3 either direct or indirect. Research further suggests that discrimination evokes strong emotions and is coped with in various ways.

The experience of discrimination, although an intrapersonal process, necessarily impacts on the interracial relationship and is therefore also an interpersonal process. Discrimination as a Contextual Experience within the Immediate Family.

Both participants A and C experienced discrimination by their fathers. Participant A 's father overtly expressed his disapproval and feeling of betrayal because his daughter had chosen a black partner; however, he later engaged in a process of self-reflection and acceptance of the relationship.

As a result, A re-established her relationship with her father despite his initial discrimination. Participant A: After, we [A and her father] had spoken [about A 's interracial relationship with her husband] ja. So long pause , um, and sigh his initial reaction And um, he [father] said even straight away that he knew that his attitude was wrong.

And because, you know, faith is very important to him, he also knew, he said to me, In contrast, C 's father expressed his disappointment in her choice of a black partner in more subtle and ambiguous ways, and withdrew from her emotionally. Participant C: I mean, I remember when I told my father. Besides saying, "Don't give the ring back"? Um laughing um long pause , something like.

I think in a way it's [C 's engagement to her black partner] put a little bit of distance between us. Um, you know, and probably to do with that stepping back and saying, "Get on with whatever you think is best".

But um, ja, I have felt it [C 's engagement to her black partner] has created somewhat of a distance. Yancey and Lewis suggest that white family members are generally not supportive of black-white interracial relationships, and that white fathers' reactions to their daughters' interracial relationships with black men are more extreme than those of white mothers Romano, Discrimination as a Contextual Experience within the Extended Family.

Participants indicated that they experienced subtle discrimination from members of the extended family manifesting as exclusion and favouritism. Participant A 's family excluded her and her black husband from important family events and ignored them at family functions when they were invited. Participant A: Um, but you know ja, it took a, quite a long time for them to start just open their hearts to us. And because my, the eldest uncle had been so, um, vehemently against the whole thing [interracial relationship], um, he, he wouldn't speak to my husband at functions and he would deliberately, would B indicated that her in-laws discriminated against her by excluding her from conversations by means of communicating in their home language, which she could not understand.

Participant B: I met his [black husband's] folks and they all speak perfect English, but there was one like family gathering at his uncle's where they [B 's parents-in-law] just spoke Zulu. Which was like kind of, you know That's difficult. My husband was very angry. Research findings pertaining to black families' approval or rejection of committed interracial relationships are ambiguous.

South African statistics suggest that black communities are less tolerant of interracial relationships than are other racial groups Amoateng, Baars and Childs a indicate that black families, and in particular black women, have become more disapproving of interracial relationships than was apparent in the past. Participant C indicated that she had experienced discrimination from her family-in-law in terms of being singled out for favouritism.

This corresponds with literature suggesting that some black family members seem to tolerate and even favour interracial relationships Romano, Participant C: And then from his [C 's black partner] side, it's a different form of, of um long pause , prejudice. It's the kind of opposite [type of discrimination]. It's like, "Oh my God," you know, "Here's this white woman! So there's a kind of a Discrimination as a Contextual Experience within Society. According to Root , heterogamy, by its nature, naturally begets social ostracism and discrimination due to its defiance of the social norms and values that sanction homogamy.

The participants in the present study experienced direct societal discrimination in the form of public staring and either derogatory or patronizing commentary, and indirect societal discrimination in the form of the discriminatory attitudes, expectations and practices their partners experienced in the workplace. Societal discrimination against interracial relationships was experienced by participants A and C in the form of public staring.

Various authors have commented on the prevalence of subtle prejudices in society, with public staring an example of restrained acts of discrimination against individuals in interracial relationships Childs, b; Root, ; Yancey, Participant A: Some days you don't even notice people are staring at you because they just do laughing. And then some days laughing you feel like. And then you can show all the people you know laughing, illustrating with hand movements showing a photograph to someone!

Participant C: From a society level, you know, shopping centres and movies and that kind of thing, people do [stare], depending on where you are Another form of societal discrimination is taunting comments from members of the public, as was experienced by participants A and B.

A overheard derogatory comments made in public, while B was subjected to patronising remarks. Ruscher and Yancey indicate that taunting comments are typical forms of societal discrimination. Participant A: When she [a stranger in a shopping centre] walked past us she just went, "Ag, sies expressing disgust; dramatic facial expression ".

And so it was that sort of disgust, you know. Participant B: You know and if Finally, A and B both reported experiencing indirect societal discrimination due to racial prejudice and discrimination directed towards their husbands at their places of work. Participant A: And you know, my husband has said very often, I think, for him he just always had to work that much harder for people to see him, you know.

Participant B: It [B 's husband being considered on the basis of his race rather than his qualifications] makes me very angry angry facial expression. But because he's black he's just seen [as], you know, "Okay, we can have him, 'cause, you know, he's got the qualification". But, you know, the glass-ceiling long pause kind of applies. The subjective experience of discrimination is significantly associated with psychological distress Paradies, ; Williams et al.

According to Romano , "choosing a partner of another race in the face of family opposition remains one of the most emotionally wrenching issues of marrying interracially" p. The present study identified emotional pain and anger as the most salient emotional responses to perceived experiences of discrimination. Both participants A and B experienced emotional pain in response to their experiences of discrimination.

A experienced emotional pain due to her family's lack of enthusiasm regarding her committed relationship with a black man. B felt emotional pain as a result of being excluded by her family-in-law's refusal to speak English in her presence. Participant A: For a few months, well, for I suppose it were more weeks than months that were very difficult widened eyes. Because I felt that we [A and her black boyfriend] weren't doing anything morally wrong and yet we were getting this [disappointing] reaction [from family members] and it was in my own home and it [discrimination] was very difficult, because most of the time you are very excited 'bout a new relationship and whatever sadness.

And I, like, for me that [A 's family's discrimination] was very hurtful, and what was even more hurtful is that his family were so loving. There were instances where, you know, people said very hurtful things and it was, it was difficult said softly , very difficult not to retaliate in the heat of the moment. Participant B Um, except I remember Which was like kind of, you know. Participants B and C both felt anger in response to their experiences of discrimination.

Killian suggests that discrimination, and in particular public staring and derogatory comments made by members of the public, evoke anger as an emotional response on the part of stigmatised individuals. B indicated that she felt angry when the receptionist at a holiday resort made a racist comment; she also felt angry when she indirectly experienced discrimination as a result of her husband being racially discriminated against in the workplace.

Participant B: So we [B and her white Swiss male friend] went in there and she [the receptionist] said, "Oh thank goodness, sigh we don't have any black people this weekend! I'm like angry facial expression , "Pardon laughing?

It [B 's husband being considered for his race rather than his qualifications] makes me very angry angry facial expression. But because he's black he's just seen [as], you know, "Okay, we can have him, 'cause you know, he's got the qualification".

But you know, the glass-ceiling long pause kind of applies. C was angry at herself for choosing to invest in a committed interracial relationship where prejudicial attitudes have a significant impact on her existence and the quality of her relationship. Participant C: You know long pause , um Um, so sometimes I sort of think, "Ag, you know, God why didn't I make things easier for myself? Why have I made life so complicated? You know, discrimination, where I catch myself thinking along similar kinds of things of, "Ah, God, come on, why can't you do this?

Yzerbyt and Demoulin reason that, when the experience of antagonism is mediated by racial prejudice or discrimination, the resulting emotional response is one of anger and distrust - which emotions are not provoked when the experience of antagonism is independent of race-related attitudes. All three participants made use of avoidance in an attempt to cope with racial discrimination. A coped with discrimination by avoiding disclosing incidences of discrimination to her husband in an attempt to protect him from the psychological impact thereof.

Participant A: And then we did it [avoiding disclosing incidences of discrimination] with each other, where as individuals we would not share with the other person what was going on, or what we'd heard [discriminatory statements about the interracial relationship between A and her husband] or expressive hand movements. A 's use of avoidance accords with research findings indicating that interracial couples avoid sharing their discriminatory experiences with each other in order to protect their partners from experiencing indirect discrimination Killian, B indicated that she and her husband avoided certain geographical areas in South Africa, as well as social settings that are predominantly white, in order to limit their exposure to possible discrimination.

Killian confirms that interracial couples cope with discrimination by avoiding places that they perceive to be high-risk areas for discrimination. Participant B: There are places we avoid, like deep Afrikaans places we don't go, we just don't go there. We don't stop, we drive through. Like there's some places we'd go to and we, and we'd go, "Uh uh, no shaking head.

So, ja, sometimes we feel the vibes. I mean long pause , you don't want to go C avoids dealing with prejudice and discrimination within her relationship by living separately from her partner. Living separately enables her to avoid the emotional impact of discrimination. Participant C: I think there's a lot of avoidance going on currently, which is made possible by living in different places.

Um, so you can continue on quite a functional level with a phone call or two a day and not confront things smiling. But, um long pause ja serious facial expression , I think in the longer term scenario, you're not And then, um I think it makes me also long pause , sometimes Killian suggests that interracial couples avoid discussion of a race related matter because of its significance in and implication for the relationship.

This helps them to maintain a positive sense of self and the illusion of control over their lives. This stands in contrast to the experience of some of the participants in the present study, who coped with experiences of discrimination through a process of self-reflection and the pursuit of increased self-awareness.

Participant A made use of introspection into her own prejudices as a way of coping with experiences of discrimination. Participant A: Um, ja I think, I think they [people who discriminate against you] challenge you in that they bring [out] what you, what kind of prejudices you have as well long pause.

Um, some of the comments we've got, the negative comments from strangers have been mostly trembling voice from Afrikaans people. So that makes trembling voice me feel like, you know, like I, I come out with, I know things that are prejudices within me. So that's something, you know, you've got to work on C displayed self-awareness pertaining to her own internal racial prejudice against her black partner.

She indicated that she had sought professional help from a psychologist to assist her with the process of negotiating differences within her relationship with her black partner, and her experience of internal and intra-relational prejudice and discrimination. Participant C: And I I have I was um, ah, seeing a psychologist standing up to close the door.

But he's a white male and he didn't really get a grip on it [internal racial prejudice]. You know, he didn't have He was brilliant in many other ways, but not really able to deal with that [internal racial prejudice]. In addition to self-awareness, participants identified adopting a positive attitude as another adaptive coping strategy in dealing with discrimination. Participant A described how she and her husband adopted an optimistic stance, hoping and believing that her family will accept their relationship in due course and that reconciliation will eventually occur.

Foeman and Nance describe this coping strategy as "turning to each other" or "framing" p. The term "framing" refers to a process in which the couple work together to discover an adaptive coping strategy in dealing with discrimination. Participant A: So, we [A and her husband] sort of worked from the point of ''One day we are all going to be reconciled" and we don't want to feel that we have all these things hand movements to apologise for. B described making light of people's questions about her multiracial family and adopting a positive attitude when encountering patronising remarks.

Participant B: Ah, I'd just be as cheerful as possible [when being asked about my relation to my children], you know, just say, "Ja, these are my kids. My husband's black nonchalant tone of voice. The last coping strategy identified among participants was their faith. Childs b and Killian indicate that interracial couples cope with prejudice and discrimination by minimising their racial differences and focusing instead on similarities, such as a shared belief system. Religion can play an important role in a committed interracial relationship, as it helps to ground the relationship and thereby increases the confidence of partners.

Religion thus serves as a protective defence against the adverse psychological effects of discrimination Killian, Participants A and B both expressed the belief that their relationships were orchestrated and sanctioned by God. In addition, they both indicated that their faith in God helped them to cope with discrimination. Participant A: It was our faith that's been so much of what's kept everything long pause stable, you know. Participant B: So when times are tough, you can always go back to that [faith in God].

You know that it's not just the two of us standing by ourselves. You know we're not protected; I mean bad things happen to everybody. You know, we just feel that we're rooted together. And there, there's something more than just me and him. You know what I'm saying? God is far greater than we are.

If He thinks it's right, then it must be right. Discrimination may impact in either a negative or a positive manner on the quality of a committed interracial relationship. The majority of participants experienced discrimination to eventually result in increased commitment and closeness. Initially, A and her partner had experienced a breakdown in their communication because of not disclosing incidences of discrimination to each other. Participant A: Because it [withholding experiences of discrimination from each other] doesn't help anything; but it [the experience of discrimination] still affects your relationship, even though it's indirectly So the way for us to do it [dealing with discrimination] was to communicate, ''This is what I'd heard, so and so said", um, and get it out in the open and then be able to fight it [discrimination] together And more in a way of just building each other up, 'cause sometimes you can handle it [discrimination] and the other person can't.

And more as just trying to build each other up [rather] than, you know, attack anyone else. B and her husband also enjoyed increased closeness as a result of the experience of discrimination. Participant B: I think it [discrimination experienced from family members] kind of made it [B 's relationship with her husband] stronger initially.

B 's experience of increased commitment and greater closeness to her husband as a consequence of their experience of discrimination reflects Lehmiller and Agnew's finding that suggests that stigmatised couples compensate for lower levels of investment with higher levels of commitment.

Leslie and Letiecq also indicate that discrimination may lead to "increased bonding and efforts to present a 'united front' In summary, white women in committed interracial relationships with black men experience discrimination in various contexts and from various sources. They experience discrimination from immediate and extended family members by being ostracised and excluded.

Societal discrimination is experienced in the form of public staring, taunting comments and discrimination against their partners at work. The experience of discrimination evokes mainly negative emotions, such as the pain of rejection and anger. The participants coped with rejection in either adaptive or maladaptive ways.

Maladaptive coping entails mainly avoidance of talking about instances of discrimination experienced, which can lead to estrangement in the interracial relationship. Adaptive coping entails self-awareness of their own discriminatory attitudes and their impact on the relationship, adopting a positive attitude, and faith.

Within interracial relationships, experiences of discrimination may have positive consequences such as increased commitment and closeness. Limitations and Recommendations. Certain shortcomings of the present study could be addressed in future research. The sample of the study was homogenous, all the participants being white, English-speaking women of similar socio-economic status. Only experiences of discrimination among white females were investigated, and the experience of discrimination by the men in these relationships was not included.

Future research could thus explore experiences of discrimination from the perspectives of black women, black men or white men in black-white interracial relationships. Only individuals in black-white relationships were interviewed in the present research.

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