In fact, a lot of them may find it amusing if a man does these trivial chivalric gestures for them. So guys or gals , when you date a German woman, then tone down on the gallantry a bit. It will be lost on them anyway. Related: Intercultural Dating in Germany Explained. If you want a funny one, get a Brit. There, I said it. When you date a German, you start noticing a pattern. They take your jokes a wee bit too literally.
Your self-deprecating humour leaves them increasingly concerned about the state of your mental health. You see, humour does not come naturally to Germans. Or maybe we foreigners do not get it. Whatever the case might be….
As the saying goes, the German sense of humour is no laughing matter. I mean, think from their perspective. Can you even apply humour to a new automobile technology or make a logistical process more efficient with it? Many foreigners are used to a more relaxed social environment where complete strangers can make the most absurd jokes with one another. In Germany, however, that is just not as common. Remember, jokes are reserved for their close family and friends.
So hang in there. Again, there are individuals who break this mould and are immediately friendly and humorous, but this is rare. They can still have their funny moments. In that case, may Lord help you! When you come to Germany and see them around nearly everywhere, you may get a feeling that German humour is just a little outdated.
Anyway, you have decided to overlook the German funny side for the time being. They are more than just a pretty face though…. Have you ever greeted your neighbour and asked how are they doing? In many cultures, you will just get a monosyllable response with a courteous nod and be on your way. You will notice this during your dates as well. Ask them a general question. Be prepared to get a literal answer. They are so much into details. Not in a showy or romantic way, but they are just precise. Well, you are totally enamoured by their nerdy explanations.
You enjoy their company very much and want to see them more often — like properly date them. It is admirable how straight-forward Germans are and they mean what they say. Enough with the stupid mind games and dating rules. Romance is a simple business for Germans. Two people meet, like each other, meet some more, Snog.
Rinse and repeat. Once you start hanging out with each other, it is just taken for granted that you are in a relationship — with each other. When they are with someone, they really are with them. On that note, seeing more than one person at the same time is frowned upon. It might be normal in North America, but not in Europe. But you really really like them and want a serious commitment. What happens next? Related: Dating in Germany vs Dating in America.
Dating in Germany is a lot like making friends and filing an annual tax return — it takes time. And a lot of effort. Most Germans do not rush into relationships. It might take weeks or months to get past four or five dates alone. They tend to be quite calculated and patient at the start of a new relationship. Many foreigners, especially women, find this very refreshing when going out with German men. Some cultures have contrived dating rules that after so and so many dates a couple should make out or bump uglies etc etc.
You can take your time to get to know each other, and hit the sack together when the timing feels right. It could be on the first date or after 11th — No. Similarly, there are no unwritten rules about getting married. In that case, you should educate them about taxes benefits for married couples in Germany. You may also like: How to marry your German boo as a foreigner in Germany.
Germany does not have a superficial gift-giving culture. Gifts in Germany are meant to be thoughtful and have real sentimental value. Did you ever experience something funny together with your German on a holiday?
They will totally get you a present referencing to that moment. Or like that one time you mentioned your favourite band or musical. Your German SO might have noted that down in a mental diary and already ordered tickets for their next concert in your city.
Or they might surprise you with your dream city trip for your birthday. So yeah, they may not splurge on material stuff like clothing, gadgets or jewellery but they will go out of their way to show that they are attentively listening to you. Germans are not totally unromantic. They are considerate, you just have to ask them what you want or desire in a precise way, so they know how to accommodate you. But when it comes to asking them what you want….
Related: Gift-giving guide for noobs in Germany. Fine, so things are sailing along smoothly between you and your favourite German so far. And they go ahead and do what Germans do — tell you exactly what they think. It is so not nice, and definitely not what you wanted to hear from your darling German.
But at least it is their honest opinion and Germans prefer honesty over friendliness. Never ever ask a German for feedback if you only want to hear fake nice things. Trust me, after the first few blows of German truth bombs, you will come to favour them over superficial niceness anyway. The other workaround is to embrace their criticism. But unfortunately for you….
Criticism, however constructive, might be too hard for them to handle and bruise their delicate ego. You see, German culture is all about Ordnung in every little aspect of life. Perfectionism is valued more than improvisation. There is a specific way of doing things here. If you dare suggest that they did something incorrectly, you are questioning their entire delicate plane of picture-perfect existence. A lot of foreigners notice very quickly that Germans take themselves too seriously — this is why self-deprecating humour falls flat here.
They are just not raised to acknowledge their own mistakes. Admitting you are wrong is personally humiliating. But you will notice that it is way more widespread in German culture. Few years in your relationship, you will understand that Germans are trustworthy and loyal partners, in spite of their pedantic perfectionism. This has good and bad aspects in all situations obviously.
One of which is…. Germans thrive on planning the minutest details. Their natural state is somewhere between planning and anxiousness — with no room for improvising. So they become anxious if something is not planned. Going on a relaxing beach holiday? Forget about spontaneity or staying late in bed or doing something on the fly because, holiday! They will map out each and every hour of your two weeks long vacation. Starting from the minutes required for breakfast, hours allotted for relaxing at the beach, and time spent at every museum in the city to the countdown to the dinnertime etc.
Are you two finally ready to get hitched? Bear in mind that financial security and long term stability are supreme for Germans, sometimes even above personal relationships. So make sure that all your insurances are up to speed. If not, your German SO may not consider you real marriage material. Marriage is basically seen as a contract that Germans think very long and hard about. We have not decided on this yet, but Ehevertrag or prenups are not all that uncommon in Germany.
D ating a German might not be the most passionate relationship of your life, but it sure will be the most solid and practical one. Romantic relationships evolve very slowly here but also tend to be stable most of the time. Rest assured, you do not have to deal with an emotional rollercoaster all the time.
You may also like: Decoding German flirting signs. Just stereotypes. There are Germans who may fit this blueprint up to the hilt. But there are also those who are flirty, spontaneous, with a good sense of humour to boot. You can take everything written here at its face value.
Or you can fuck this guide entirely and simply be with someone who reflects and respects you and your values. So do you have a German SO? What is your experience of dating a German? Tell us your experience of German dating in the comments below! Hi there, I am the human behind this blog. If you could not tell by my photo, I am fueled by tea. My expat journey started at the age of Germany has been my home for several years. I hope you will find some helpful insights if you are considering moving to Germany or already live here.
However, it is important to me to say that not all German men are like that. I wish you all the best of luck in finding your happiness — no matter where in the world it will be. Thanks for this, I have 3 dates with a German guy over the past month.
He wanted to have sex every time and finished the dinner so quickly and asked to go to my place. I feel weird and think he may just want to have sex. He said no and want to see if we can develop further. However, he just ask me out once every two weeks and give me short texts once few days. I know he works super busy, but in this case, do you think he is serious? As a german man your comment made me laugh.
No disrespect though. You really should ask him or just make clear to him that you want to wait some more to time to have sex. You dont need to specify at all. If he sticks around you know he also likes you. But man also know that these kind of tests exist. So just try and find out!
Thanks for the your precise explanation. The text was really helpful for me not only for dating, but also for understanding the difference between my mentality as foriner and a German mentality. In most regards, German women are used to being treated equally to men. If you want to pay for dinner every once in a while or open the door for us, go for it!
The next round of drinks is on us. If you agreed to go for dinner at 7 PM you better show up at that time, or even better, 5 minutes early! Even if we are only on our first date, we like to engage in real conversations. For real. We do have a good dry sense of humor, but our history is a rather dark subject and most of us do not find Nazi jokes particularly funny. We like some clean air in our room, no matter the weather.
Thankfully, Germany is a very diverse place in many aspects, and differences and individuality are appreciated and embraced. The best thing you can do when dating any woman is to listen, learn, and communicate. Trending Videos View All Videos. Sponsored Go beyond the pavement with Kina Pickett Feb 10, Sponsored Hauling home for the holidays with the Picketts Dec 3, Sponsored Your secluded Los Cabos sanctuary Nov 5, Top Countries.
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